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Aspires and NT relationship issues

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hurtloam
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10 Oct 2017, 12:35 am

imhere wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
that1weirdgrrrl wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Quote:
From an acorn of interest I will cultivate whole forests of affection

- Paddy McAloon


I'm not sure how this applies, but it is cute. I like it :heart:



What DWamom said reminded me of it:

"You have to stop looking for little crumbs of hope and let yourself move on."

Here's the whole track



Sorry. Music is my obsession. There is a song for every moment and feeling.



Can you please be more explicit, I don't understand what this is saying either.


I'm just showing the source of my quote.

Sometimes we romanticize thongs that are not there. We turn mundane things into clues when they are not clues. An acorn of interest is an acorn, not a forest. A tiny bit of interest is just that and nothing more and may never grow to be anything more no matter how much we want it to.



Last edited by hurtloam on 10 Oct 2017, 12:43 am, edited 2 times in total.

hurtloam
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10 Oct 2017, 12:39 am

sly279 wrote:
imhere wrote:
sly279 wrote:
AspieSingleDad wrote:
imhere wrote:
AspieSingleDad wrote:
I think she's right too. If you decide not to have anything to do with this guy, does this mean you are gonna stop posting here to learn about the exciting (and simultaneously boring) world of Aspies?



I don't know. I still find Asperger's to be ingriging....if not exasperating.


It's exasperating for us too. Not only to "deal" with a world dominated by NTs, but because many of us would join the NT world if we had the opportunity. Autism is a part of us, its not something we signed up for voluntarily. Okay, so I think I'm being Captain Obvious, but there it is nonetheless.

I’d much rather be nt and normal then the sub human I am. Nt s get to live real lives. They get good jobs, have relationships, buy homes, have families. My friend is starting a great life by joining military and has a bright future. While my crappy life is horrible and futureless at 29 :(
I have no friends and most people at work seem to dislike me. I imagine they’d prefer I leave :cry:

Wish there was a cure. Though in reality it’s to late for such a thing to helps me. So I keep hoping for a drug to be invented that makes one not feel emotions.


Just because someone is NT does not mean they automatically get those things. And just because you are not does not mean you cannot have them too, though it might be harder. I don't think aspies are at all subhuman, just hard to get close to, IMHO.


Most nts do get them though even ones who never wanted a family get family like my ex friend. A lot of aspies end up disability for life which is a big red flag for most women sto now they want someone with good job and future.

I’m seen and treated as sub human as are other aspies but not all. Some achieve well in life and can mostly fake being normal


It is easier for NTs. A lot of us here have never been in a relationship. It's difficult not to feel subhuman when you're always overlooked and seen as a nothing. The older I get the further away I feel from normal people. My life hasn't followed the same trajectory. I'm 35 and my life hasn't begun yet in that sense. This would be normal for an 18 year old, but I'm still in this place at 35.



sly279
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10 Oct 2017, 2:49 pm

hurtloam wrote:
sly279 wrote:

Most nts do get them though even ones who never wanted a family get family like my ex friend. A lot of aspies end up disability for life which is a big red flag for most women sto now they want someone with good job and future.

I’m seen and treated as sub human as are other aspies but not all. Some achieve well in life and can mostly fake being normal


It is easier for NTs. A lot of us here have never been in a relationship. It's difficult not to feel subhuman when you're always overlooked and seen as a nothing. The older I get the further away I feel from normal people. My life hasn't followed the same trajectory. I'm 35 and my life hasn't begun yet in that sense. This would be normal for an 18 year old, but I'm still in this place at 35.

I dont know. A lot of 18 olds have their life in order. Either joint military or heading off to college with a gf or wife. Some already have good jobs lined up at 18. My niece is 20 , she’s married, working a good job, has a new car, and TIL her husband got arrested were looking at buying a house. Mean while I’m 30 soon and working min wage, never had a gf and rent a place with family. Imagine where she’ll be at 30. :cry:



magz
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10 Oct 2017, 3:30 pm

sly279 wrote:
My niece is 20 , she’s married, working a good job, has a new car, and TIL her husband got arrested were looking at buying a house.

Her husband was arrested? Doesn't seem a very orderly life to me, unless it is a total random mistake.
Remember, many NTs have mastered making impression of having a much better life than they actually have. It's one of the social skills things.


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sly279
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10 Oct 2017, 4:35 pm

magz wrote:
sly279 wrote:
My niece is 20 , she’s married, working a good job, has a new car, and TIL her husband got arrested were looking at buying a house.

Her husband was arrested? Doesn't seem a very orderly life to me, unless it is a total random mistake.
Remember, many NTs have mastered making impression of having a much better life than they actually have. It's one of the social skills things.

He was sellin drugs. Which makes sense since he hasn’t worked since leaving the military (he’s older then her)
Her life might not be emotional great cause of him in prison but the rest is a lot better then me.



magz
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11 Oct 2017, 4:11 am

sly279 wrote:
magz wrote:
sly279 wrote:
My niece is 20 , she’s married, working a good job, has a new car, and TIL her husband got arrested were looking at buying a house.

Her husband was arrested? Doesn't seem a very orderly life to me, unless it is a total random mistake.
Remember, many NTs have mastered making impression of having a much better life than they actually have. It's one of the social skills things.

He was sellin drugs. Which makes sense since he hasn’t worked since leaving the military (he’s older then her)
Her life might not be emotional great cause of him in prison but the rest is a lot better then me.

Don't be fooled by a facade. Yes, many NTs build elaborate facades to impress others. I noticed, the poorer the people, the bigger part of their earnings they spend on clothes, cars and other signs of status. Which keeps them poor, by the way. Your health may be in ruin, education of your children not thought of, your house may yearn for repairs but your car has to shine whenever the neighbours see it!

It's a NT thing. They do it a lot. I could never understand why - but they do it.


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sly279
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11 Oct 2017, 4:19 pm

magz wrote:
Don't be fooled by a facade. Yes, many NTs build elaborate facades to impress others. I noticed, the poorer the people, the bigger part of their earnings they spend on clothes, cars and other signs of status. Which keeps them poor, by the way. Your health may be in ruin, education of your children not thought of, your house may yearn for repairs but your car has to shine whenever the neighbours see it!

It's a NT thing. They do it a lot. I could never understand why - but they do it.

How’s it a facade when they have those thing? I’m poor with no shiny car.

I do agree somewhat, I’ve known middle class people to have multiple cars they can’t own. My friends parents would get new cars every year. Horses, boats, atvs then lose it all and get more. Never understood why two people need 4 cars.



imhere
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11 Oct 2017, 5:23 pm

magz wrote:
sly279 wrote:
magz wrote:
sly279 wrote:
My niece is 20 , she’s married, working a good job, has a new car, and TIL her husband got arrested were looking at buying a house.

Her husband was arrested? Doesn't seem a very orderly life to me, unless it is a total random mistake.
Remember, many NTs have mastered making impression of having a much better life than they actually have. It's one of the social skills things.

He was sellin drugs. Which makes sense since he hasn’t worked since leaving the military (he’s older then her)
Her life might not be emotional great cause of him in prison but the rest is a lot better then me.

Don't be fooled by a facade. Yes, many NTs build elaborate facades to impress others. I noticed, the poorer the people, the bigger part of their earnings they spend on clothes, cars and other signs of status. Which keeps them poor, by the way. Your health may be in ruin, education of your children not thought of, your house may yearn for repairs but your car has to shine whenever the neighbours see it!

It's a NT thing. They do it a lot. I could never understand why - but they do it.



This is not an NT thing, but I agree that it is a low socioeconomic thing. I agree with mags and ahve also noticed that the less money people have, the more they seem to waste on stupid things like $200 sneakers, and fancy accessories for their cars, and other wasteful things to show off. Then they wonder why they stay poor. lol



sly279
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11 Oct 2017, 5:54 pm

What get rich scheme should they spend the $200 on instead of shoes?
My boots cost $150 and last 3-4 years. I’m about to get $100 shoes(for half off discount)

If I saved all my extra money I’d never be middle class. They make 50-200,000 a year. Poor people can never save enough to equal well off people’s yearly income.

If I could afford $500 a mont I’d get a new car too. Don’t have to spend thousands on repairs every 6 months .