My father and older brother ruined things for me

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My father and my older brother ruined my chances at dating.

My father discouraged me from dating simply because he couldn't handle anyone's emotions and would shame me if I had curiosity towards the female body. He also didn't encourage me to follow my passions or expand my knowledge. He shoved his redneck interests down my throat and told me I needed to be "normal" despite how he was far from "normal" himself.

I was always stuck in my older brother's shadow in the social scene. A lot of people compared me to him and sometimes even confused me for him but would shrug me off when they realized I wasn't him. Girls were always telling me "Mark, your brother is so hot!" and asked me what he was doing instead of trying to engage me.

One thing I've learn't is to never feel sorry for yourself. Once you get into the habit of feeling sorry for yourself it will drive you into despair and its hard to get back out then. If you want to pm me you can, and we can chat some more.

Kind Regards, Nay.

Oops... forgot it is love and dating forum. Ha ha. I'm not gay, i promise i was just looking to make friends.

Kind Regards, Nay.

The advantage of growing up is that you gain control of your own choices, and one of those choices is what to do with the negative influences you experienced while growing up.

So make a choice to shove them in the garbage and no longer be defined by the past.

I'm not going to say the process is easy or comfortable, but people go through it every day and eventually emerge happier and stronger. I went into adult life with a lot of dating handicaps myself, which created some, um *interesting* experiences, but each time I learned and grew and by the time I married my husband at 36 I think I had finally dealt with most of the things I needed to.

Some people go through the process on their own; some find professional assistance helpful.

Either way, the first step is to make a choice.

Most women believe you can be triumph over the adversity you have had in the past and find true love. This is the basic theme of dozens of Disney movies that young girls have been watching over and over again as they grow up.

You have to take some responsibility for yourself, because no-one else has the power to do it for you. Think "What can I do to get around barriers I feel I have faced due to my past experience?", "Is there a way I can help my situation by trying something different" etc. Blaming other people for this might make you feel better but it won't help the situation.

Good luck.