How to let go of past relationships

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summer twilight

the problem is that when you interact with someone, you do not know how they will respond in a different situation. and every situation is different. it is tempting to make vague generalizations, like someone is "a good person".

an article said that, for several years, a man was married to two different women, at the same time. neither woman suspected anything, until the dry cleaning got mixed up. one of the women was a clinical psychologist.

so, if someone with as much skill as a clinical psychologist, for as much time as several years, with as much intimacy as a marriage, and something as large as marrying two women at once, did not know better, , then it follows that i also do not know better. .



and by the time that someone says or does something that is the dealbreaker , by that time i will already have stupidly made the mistake of forming an emotional attachment to that precious lil "person"........

sometimes it's easier just to not have friendships.

it's like chemicals - two chemicals might be fine separately. but if you put them together they sometimes overreact.

anyways, the solar system will always contain plenty of precious lil "people" that can easily, without intention, and successfully trick me into believing something wrong.

the last time i checked, i was not a lie detector . furthermore i am also not a racist, sexist, homophobia, sizeism, classism detector.

the galaxy will always contain plenty of precious lil "people" that outnumber, overpower and outsmart me.

there is no law that says someone has to be your friend.

the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and American Disabilities Act does not apply to social interactions. relationships. friendships.

precious lil "people" can choose their friends on any standards. criteria. grading rubric. for example, if someone does not wanna be my precious lil "friend", because "you make people uncomfortable with the way you dress!", that is perfectly legal. if someone does not wanna be my precious lil "friend" because "she's a weirdo!", that is also legal.

besides, what if it was illegal, then what? then you have two choices: 911 and civil lawsuit.

a couple years ago, a woman won a civil lawsuit against the california highway patrol. a videotape showed a patrolman physically assaulting the woman.

some lawyers charge 600 bucks per billable hour. some lawsuits take 2 years. the party with the moral high road does not necessarily win.

so. cops, lawyers, judges, and juries are people with their own biases. they also make mistakes.

and all that 911 and civil lawsuit. involves a lot more interpersonal communication. talking. answering a long list of questions.........

I see what you are saying regarding my ex-friend and her husband, her friends and family and you are right. Though they were not respecting me as a person, they were obligated to like me. To be honest, the relationship was really between my ex-friend and I and not
1. Her father and I
2. Her friend who she was close with in high school and I
3. Her husband and I
4. Her friend, who has bi-polar disorder and I

Actually, when I mean that my ex friend is a good person, she gets involved in a lot of charity and outreach type things in the community and often volunteers at these things due to being compassionate. When it boils down to things, we just were not compatible due to:
A. Being at different points in our lives
B. Wanting different things
She's all about getting married whereas I am into careers
C. There was an 11 year age difference between us

Finally, I have been talking to other people about the situation and they believe the real reason that we aren't friends anymore is because her husband didn't like me because he was jealous of our friendship and she didn't want to go against his wishes due to making having a husband her number 1 priority after being single until she was my age, which is 36. The main thing with her is that she was I am sure afraid of losing her husband if she remained my friend.

While I want her to be happy with him, I realize that I am mad at both of them
1. At him for disrespecting me a person, condemning our friendship and treating my other friends like dirt because they didn't fit into his little "Mold."
2. For her standing in the shadows and letting him break us up