Emotions erupting after diagnosis

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B19
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05 Oct 2017, 9:22 pm

The best help I found was in a meet up group for adults with social anxiety. Terrific support between members, and new members welcomed from their first moment and included in a very supportive way. The majority of the group are AS.



underwater
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06 Oct 2017, 12:49 pm

Alexanderplatz wrote:
I found the strange mix of emotions after being dx'd at 58 similar to bereavement, twisted joy being one of the feelings in my case, though like bereavement it is probably different for everyone.

One thing I have found is that it is impossible to predict how people are going to react when I tell them I am an aspie, and I am thoroughly out about it.


58 is quite late for a revelation like that. I hope you managed to turn the dx into something positive.

So far, I've told my parents, who ended up a bit emotional about the whole thing. I felt an incredible sense of relief about telling my best friend about it - she's been really understanding, which makes a huge difference.


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underwater
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06 Oct 2017, 12:56 pm

B19 wrote:
The best help I found was in a meet up group for adults with social anxiety. Terrific support between members, and new members welcomed from their first moment and included in a very supportive way. The majority of the group are AS.


I'm afraid that if I join a social anxiety group, they will roll me in tar and feathers and run me out of town. I'm not really the socially anxious type, but rather the socially clumsy type; loud, goofy and rubbish at body language. So I don't really get scared, but I'm ostracized all the same. I'm mainly just scared of doctors and bureaucrats. I probably ought to be scared of more people, but I don't really find it helpful.

I've joined an autistic society, though. Am eagerly awaiting my first newsletter. Would be good to learn about local conditions and what kind of help there is.

Now I've reached the stage where I'm crashing from exhaustion; seems there's lots of stages to this.


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MrsPeel
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07 Oct 2017, 4:50 am

I can sympathise - it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, too, I was diagnosed a few weeks ago.

My problem was I got really obsessed with reading up about ASD and was thinking about it all the time, and getting hyper-aware of my own behaviour. I felt like I wanted to tell everybody about the dx, it was all I wanted to talk about, but no one seemed interested and I probably wouldn't have been able to voice my feelings adequately, anyway. They kind of swung between relief and anger and frustration. Without anyone to talk to, the emotions are all just sloshing around inside me.

I'm so tired, waiting for myself to get over it, but I know I will in the end. Just got to be patient as I work the feelings out of my system. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this, just wish I could offer you some kind of solution.



underwater
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09 Oct 2017, 10:16 am

MrsPeel wrote:
I can sympathise - it's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for me, too, I was diagnosed a few weeks ago.

My problem was I got really obsessed with reading up about ASD and was thinking about it all the time, and getting hyper-aware of my own behaviour. I felt like I wanted to tell everybody about the dx, it was all I wanted to talk about, but no one seemed interested and I probably wouldn't have been able to voice my feelings adequately, anyway. They kind of swung between relief and anger and frustration. Without anyone to talk to, the emotions are all just sloshing around inside me.

I'm so tired, waiting for myself to get over it, but I know I will in the end. Just got to be patient as I work the feelings out of my system. It's comforting to know I'm not alone in this, just wish I could offer you some kind of solution.


Sorry for the late reply, have been away from my computer.

I hope you are well and that the emotions are sloshing a bit less - that's a good description by the way, that's exactly what it feels like.

I'm a bit better, managed to distract myself a bit. I've spent the last three years obsessing about autism, so I'm able to turn off at least a little bit now. What about you, did it come as a surprise?

I'm starting to get over the urge to tell everyone. My mother is already showing signs of wanting to ignore even more of the things I say, now I have a 'disability'. So keeping it to myself is probably a good idea with the rest of the world. Doesn't make it any pleasant, though.

What I struggle with now is that I get tired really fast - is that a thing? I run out of social real fast.

In the end, it's the support from other autistic people that gets you through it, I think. Because they don't think your point of view is 'wrong'.


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Alexanderplatz
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09 Oct 2017, 11:00 pm

underwater wrote:
Alexanderplatz wrote:
I found the strange mix of emotions after being dx'd at 58 similar to bereavement, twisted joy being one of the feelings in my case, though like bereavement it is probably different for everyone.

One thing I have found is that it is impossible to predict how people are going to react when I tell them I am an aspie, and I am thoroughly out about it.


"58 is quite late for a revelation like that. I hope you managed to turn the dx into something positive."



- Oh yes, the dx has had a highly positive effect



MrsPeel
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10 Oct 2017, 7:12 am

underwater wrote:
[What about you, did it come as a surprise?


Not exactly a surprise because I'd realised I was wired differently and had been looking for answers. I wasn't expecting I would get such intense feelings after the diagnosis, though.

underwater wrote:
What I struggle with now is that I get tired really fast - is that a thing? I run out of social real fast.


Yes, I get tired easily. When I look back at my twenties and thirties, when I was trying to persuade myself I was normal, I don't know how I kept it up. It feels like all that pretending has caught up with me now, I just don't have the energy for it anymore.



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10 Oct 2017, 10:22 am

Good to know I'm not the only one getting knackered :ninja:

This process is crazy. The bureaucracy dealing with this seems to be on speed - everything happens so fast - they decided to get some info from my doctor, and when I called my doctor's office to ask them to wait with the reply until my appointment, I was told they'd already sent the requisite form. Now I don't know if they use the same forms for different things, but what the doctor's secretary mentioned was something having to do with permanent disability, and I certainly don't want to be on disability for the rest of my life if there is any chance of work. But I assume they use the same form since the same rules apply.

I need to have a chat with them about privacy, because although I think legally they can ask for information from my doctor because of my application, I haven't given them carte blanche to access my personal information in detail and for all eternity.


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I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.