hurtloam wrote:
underwater wrote:
I gave up on relationships at one point. I felt that all the men I met wanted to reconstruct my personality, and I didn't meet a lot. At one point I told myself "Screw it! I'd rather die with fourteen cats than act out a role just so I can be with some guy.
Half a year later I met my husband.
Forced positivity is soul-destroying. Read this: "Positive thinking” has turned happiness into a duty and a burden"
https://qz.com/924103/happiness-has-bec ... brinkmann/Thankfully I've never felt any men have forced me to be something I'm not. The only men who talk to me tend to be older or marriec and they give me a lot of respect. Guys my age seem scared of me. Actually some married guys my age seem nervous around me.
It's more other women who make me feel unattractive. I'm too intelligent and I don't rely on men enough to help me or I'm too headstrong (this person was quoting the Mars n Venus book to me). I'm not forward enough. I'm too forward. All the advice is conflicting. Though other women tell me I'm lovely and attractive and men are just stupid.
Men say nothing and just smile at me. To be fair they don't treat me badly, I'm just uninteresting or roo scary and I get upset that I'm not whatever it is that makes men feel comfortable enough to talk to the woman they like.
At least I'm not disliked. I'm just that aspie female blank and stiff way (I've observed this in other aspie women i know in person, this profile won't fit all the aspie women on the forum).
I think I look like I don't need anyone.
I just rant into these guys because I was in a very male-dominated environment, and I honestly believe they were not really interested in me, just in
someone with tits.
I suspect that when people give you conflicting advice, it's because they can't really make up their minds about what it is that holds you back, so they make up stuff. Not worth listening to unless a lot of people say the same thing. Also, people are different, they look for different things, and they imagine that others are looking for the same things as they do.
Maybe online dating would work for you if you could keep online conversation going for a while? Then they'd have a first impression that was not based on body language.
_________________
I sometimes leave conversations and return after a long time. I am sorry about it, but I need a lot of time to think about it when I am not sure how I feel.
09 Oct 2017, 10:15 am
