Should you shake a girl's hand?

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It seems odd because when I meet someone I tend to offer my hand first. But it seems like that should only be for guys. When I've done it with girls they appeared to get slightly weirded out. I'm guessing it has something to do with them not liking physical contact upon first meeting. I also don't know to go light so they know I can be gentle for them or firm so they don't think I think any less of them. I'm just not going to bother anymore and let them decide if they want to extend or not.

Around here, the choice stands between a handshake and a hug.

As a girl, who does not like being hugged, I've learnt that it's best for me to promptly stretch my hand out, before anyone else goes in for some other type of greeting. It can be a little awkward, but at least not as awkward as it could've been. I prefer looking like a wierdo stretching my hand out, over offending someone by rejecting their hug.

I would like it if everyone could just stick to shaking hands for first meetings. It would remove a lot of uncomfortable situations. Like being hugged by someone you absolutely don't feel like being hugged by.
I know that the handshake could end up awkwardly too, but not as much as a hug could.


Just imagine all the awkwardness in the places where people do cheek-kissing! I've offended many frenchmen by jumping back when they were just trying to say hello in a friendly way...

In a good manners textbook that my mother once gave to me, there was written that a man shakes woman's hand if she streached her hand towards him. My translation may be poor but I understood it as the woman decides wheather she wants a handshake or not.
Have no idea if it works in informal settings in your neighborhood.

I'm very glad I don't live around there, then.

I read from somewhere that the one who should offer their hand first is the older one (if the age difference is obvious by first glance) or the one who's in a higher position (like at work or something.) But with a girl around your age... well, could it be that she wasn't used to shaking hands? I mean I don't know about where you come from, but around here young people don't shake hands when they meet unless it's a formal situation. Maybe she thought it was weird that you were being so formal?

She was younger by 4 years, which 3 years ago was a bigger difference than it is now. She probably was used to shaking hands, because funny enough I found out recently that she's the mayor's daughter. So now in retrospect I'm kind of glad that never went anywhere.

Shaking hands is a gender thing now as well?

Some of the females on the graduating video you gave here: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=354704&start=240#p7696509 did not shake hands too.
Guessing by correlation with wearing hijab, it is a religious thing but nevertheless - yes, it does have something to do with gender.

Yes, definitely a gender thing. And a culture, hierarchy, age - thing.
Hard thing....

I still stand by rather stretching a hand out and seeming a little weird, than doing nothing and coming off as impolite.
But I see the handshake as an introductory thing. You shake someone's hand and present yourself. So maybe only for the first meeting. Then if you see the person again, just do nothing unless they initiate something themselves.

I don't know.. Maybe this only applies to Scandinavians...

Maybe it's just me (a female on the Spectrum), but I absolutely loathe handshakes. I'd rather just have a smile and a greeting when I meet someone or if I'm in a professional setting.

Within a US context, I believe women/girls of the Millennial generation are much more comfortable, in general, with handshakes than women of previous generations.

But only a few like the sort of handshake which some men perform on other men: the one with the arm-wrestling-type grip.

I'm okay with shaking hands with a woman---but I know I have to be gentle about it.

Me too, so it's not just you. Actually, I hate all sudden physical contact that will dissapear before I can really even realize that it was there.

That's because religion is f**** up, especially my long ago former religion (Islam).
Some veiled women do not shake men's hands, that because they're devout enough not to touch non-family men, but the nurse who took my blood test the other day was a veiled girl...so yeah, she had to grasp my arm and I give they touch even more private parts in their profession.

My rule for dealing with shaking veiled women's hands is always to wait their move first, to avoid embarrassment.

As for non-veiled women in my culture, shaking hands is the standard, as with men.

A "tapping hug" is also for both sexes by both sexes, but only if they are very close friends or relatives, may also include 3 kisses like in this comic, can be between opposite or same sex - I think some europeans do it too.



But it's a dying custom among the youth tho.

There could definitely be generational and cultural differences on this one, so take my point of view from that perspective:

I shake hands with men in professional, business, or similarly formal settings, or that I know from that part of my life.

I think it is also common to shake hands when you first meet someone, male or female.

I rarely shake hands with men I am friendly with. If we know each other well enough, it is a quick and light hug; if we don't, it is a verbal greeting and a nod. If we end up shaking hands it usually seems a little out of place, and we'll end up laughing. Shaking hands is how male friends greet each other, but women friends will hug, and I think the whole male-female friendship world is still figuring out how to reconcile that difference.

My family in Europe replaces hugs with the triple kiss; you are correct on that, Face_of_boo.

I noticed that not all the veiled girls refused a handshake - so I suppose they may be more or less relaxed with their traditions and interpret them differently.

Hugging and tapping are popular here, in my generation too - maybe even more than in my parents'. It is also required to be in relatively close "friends and family" circle, no gender restrictions.
With three kisses there is some confusion: Three kisses can be sometimes considered a Russian influence, two kisses are "the true Polish". No idea if these assumptions have anything to do with any reality but the kisses can be a bit politically charged as a result.
The custom is far from dying here but rather restricted to family relationships.

In Turkey there's also kissing the hand of the elderly, no gender restriction, same as in some Asian countries.

absolutely not.
you never know where that middle digit of their hand has been recently.

i do not like catching germs from people.

i refuse to shake hands with anyone because i do not see the sense in it, and i also do not want to expose myself to any microbial infections.

when i worked 9-5 in an office in a suit many years ago, i had to go to meetings where i was required to shake hands with people, so i always donned a latex glove before i shook their hands, and then when i shook them all, i just peeled
off the glove and dropped it in the bin.

i was told many times that it was very rude to do that, but whatever.
my life is more important than good manners.

so with a girl, i would shake her hand with a glove on, but think it would not engender any feeling of closeness in them toward me.

the best way to shake someones hand is to squirt lighter fluid on their palm and set it alight.

their hand will shake vigorously after that.