As I recently told in another thread, I am now in a relationship. Great, huh? No, it's not.
I saw her profile online and decided to contact her. Unlike many others, she gave a positive response and we went on a date. I still thought it would end the usual way with me getting stuck in the friendzone, but that was not the case. It took some time, but when I realized that she actually liked me, I made more specific approaches.
A few dates later, when we were cuddling under a tree in the park, she asked me whether we were going to be in a relationship, and I said yes. That's when things started going downhill.
It has always bothered me that it's impossible to have a text message conversation with her; she takes forever to respond, and she goes offline after the third message without notice. Before we were officially in a relationship, I tolerated it, but now it really drives me crazy. For now, I have decided to stop texting her, to protect myself from getting disappointed all the time, and she does not text me, either.
Not being able to send text messages is especially bad because we see each other on a pretty irregular basis. We live in different cities, so we need to take the train to visit each other, and it's only possible on week-ends. Unfortunately, she is apparently very busy, so sometimes we spend 4 weeks not seeing each other, but on the other hand, she tells me about the things she does with her friends all the time.
We decided to have phone calls twice per week, but it's not the same, and somehow our conversation topics end up being pretty unemotional smalltalk.
On the physical side, things are not going well, either. We do cuddle and we have kissed a few times, but she is always really passive and never initiates. While I'm really not in a rush with more sexual things, the lack of those is probably not a good sign, either.
If she hadn't been the one to use the word “relationship” first, I would be pretty certain that she does not really like me. Now I am in a relationship that just does not feel like one, and I'm really unhappy. Most people would have ended it much earlier, but I am reluctant because I don't know if I would ever find someone else again. I could just reactivate my online dating account and see, but that would be immoral. Maybe she likes me and is just overwhelmed with the situation (it's her first relationship, too), but if she won't tell me, there seems to be nothing I can to.
I recently sent her a letter, suggesting that she take a little more initiative on our next date, but I'm not overly optimistic with that. I have decided that I will wait until the end of the year, and if things haven't improved by then, I will quit.
10 Oct 2017, 6:19 pm
