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livingwithautism
Snowy Owl
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11 Oct 2017, 7:51 am

Not being able to say what's wrong, or being able to say it but everyone ignores you? I have both problems.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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11 Oct 2017, 1:28 pm

Rhetorical question

It's good if you know something, even if nobody believes you

:D

But if they believed me, then what? When I started Gender Therapy in San Diego in 2004, almost nobody believed me.

But if they were to have believed me, then what?

They did not have the authority to prescribe hormones, provide Gender Therapy, or write laws

The most they could have done was "refuse to call you by :D your boys name :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ". And tell me that it was "lying" for me to ask him to call me "he" instead if "she"

:mrgreen:



Spyoon
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11 Oct 2017, 1:58 pm

Not being able to say what's wrong is worse for me.


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livingwithautism
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11 Oct 2017, 2:06 pm

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Rhetorical question

It's good if you know something, even if nobody believes you

:D

But if they believed me, then what? When I started Gender Therapy in San Diego in 2004, almost nobody believed me.

But if they were to have believed me, then what?

They did not have the authority to prescribe hormones, provide Gender Therapy, or write laws

The most they could have done was "refuse to call you by :D your boys name :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ". And tell me that it was "lying" for me to ask him to call me "he" instead if "she"

:mrgreen:


I wasn’t referring to believing, I was referring to there being a problem and not being able to communicate it or being able to but the problem isn’t solved because people just ignore it when you tell them.


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dragonsanddemons
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11 Oct 2017, 3:17 pm

I also have both problems at different times, and they're both extremely frustrating for me. I guess it's worse for me, though, when people ignore or refuse to believe me, because that usually comes with insults, too - like when I try to explain that I can't do something, I'm accused of simply not wanting to - of being too lazy or not caring enough, when in actuality I'm trying my hardest and still not succeeding, and that hurts a lot more than not being able to explain that something's wrong.


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Spyoon
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11 Oct 2017, 3:26 pm

livingwithautism wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Rhetorical question

It's good if you know something, even if nobody believes you

:D

But if they believed me, then what? When I started Gender Therapy in San Diego in 2004, almost nobody believed me.

But if they were to have believed me, then what?

They did not have the authority to prescribe hormones, provide Gender Therapy, or write laws

The most they could have done was "refuse to call you by :D your boys name :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: ". And tell me that it was "lying" for me to ask him to call me "he" instead if "she"

:mrgreen:


I wasn’t referring to believing, I was referring to there being a problem and not being able to communicate it or being able to but the problem isn’t solved because people just ignore it when you tell them.

ah sorry , I have misunderstood your question .


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dragonsanddemons
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11 Oct 2017, 3:51 pm

livingwithautism wrote:

I wasn’t referring to believing, I was referring to there being a problem and not being able to communicate it or being able to but the problem isn’t solved because people just ignore it when you tell them.


I guess looking at that, I'd still say people ignoring me when I tell them would be more frustrating, because I'd have hope that I might be able to come up with a way to explain it if given enough time, but there's nothing I can do to make people listen to/believe me if they don't want to.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


Exuvian
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12 Oct 2017, 8:20 pm

I think not being able to say what's wrong would be worse. If you could communicate the problem, eventually someone may listen.



EzraS
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12 Oct 2017, 8:59 pm

They both suck of course. But I think being ignored is worse.


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livingwithautism
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12 Oct 2017, 11:35 pm

Exuvian wrote:
I think not being able to say what's wrong would be worse. If you could communicate the problem, eventually someone may listen.


I’m talking about being dismissed and everyone moves on to the next thing. There is no eventually someone may listen part.


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LegoMaster2149
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13 Oct 2017, 1:35 pm

I'd say being ignored is the worst one.

-LegoMaster2149 (Written on October 13, 2017)


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naturalplastic
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13 Oct 2017, 2:06 pm

Being ignored is certainly more demeaning than just being inarticulate.

But on a practical level if you were permanently absolutely mute I suppose that would be worse.



Canadian Penguin
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13 Oct 2017, 2:16 pm

I've never communicating what I'm feeling well at all. I also don't fully understand what I feel, so it makes it harder to put words, nor do I necessarily trust in what I feel, either.

Maybe I don't really have issues with anxiety or attention, perhaps I really am lazy.


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13 Oct 2017, 3:45 pm

livingwithautism wrote:
Not being able to say what's wrong, or being able to say it but everyone ignores you? I have both problems.

Good question / good point. Being ignored isn't the worst of it either. Saying what's wrong can get you vilified. It brings people down if they're wedded to an overpositive view of their flawed beliefs or plans, and apparently there's a lot of that around. Which is the worst of the 2 options depends on the context, I've had to take option 1 a lot, but I often wish I had enough money and power to take option 2. I also wish I was really gifted in honest but persuasive language and could somehow get the cloud-cuckoo-land types to embrace my criticisms and feel genuinely grateful for my useful input.

Hypothetical Example:
Football team: We can't lose! Here we go!
Me: Wrong. You most certainly can lose. [explanation of how they can lose]
Football team: Shut up!
Me: But I'm only trying to stop you setting yourself up for a fall.
Football team: (sigh) Look, we need to psych ourselves up with this positive hype to boost our confidence.
Me: Why not go in there knowing you might lose but muster up the courage to run with that?
Football team: May you rot in hell, ToughDiamond. You're a weirdo. Don't talk to us again or we'll kick you.



livingwithautism
Snowy Owl
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13 Oct 2017, 11:15 pm

I have no idea what you're talking about.


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