Understanding social interaction through observation?

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EscapingTheCrowd
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14 Oct 2017, 12:25 am

When I overhear two people talk, or watch a TV show, it's generally easy for me to interpret what is going on. It's like a cause and effect thing. You see one thing happen and then the next thing happens. But if someone is talking to ME, then sometimes I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react, in certain situations. I also have trouble in group settings. I was just wondering if anyone else experiences this, where, it's easier to understand someone else's problem then your own. It's easier to understand social cues when they're not being directed at you.



leejosepho
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14 Oct 2017, 9:10 am

EscapingTheCrowd wrote:
...if someone is talking to ME, then sometimes I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react, in certain situations... It's easier to understand social cues when they're not being directed at you.

How I am "supposed" to act can be greatly dependent upon who is doing the supposing, and the same can be true in relation to how I am *expected* to act. However, I think I do understand what you are getting at along the line of acceptable-to-all interactions with others.

Throughout my life I have observed people around me while trying to figure out how to "fit in" somewhere or how to be found acceptable to others and all of that, but I have only ever been able to employ a mechanical approach based upon previous observations -- mimicry -- rather than to act intuitively like many people seem able to do. I think it is possible to be deemed socially acceptable by doing that, but I long ago stopped trying to be socially successful because I need a script where it seems most people are ad-libbers.


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elbowgrease
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27 Oct 2017, 1:30 pm

I've done an immense amount of people watching, and watched a lot of movies. I feel like I've got a good understanding of how conversation and interaction works, but it pretty much remains a theoretical comprehension. Sometimes I do ok in one on one, but it's a lot of work, and I have a really difficult time initiating it. Group interaction is just impossible. It's really hard to keep up with, and I usually end up embarrassing myself. Kind of like, responding to a comment from ten minutes ago that everyone else has already moved past.



kraftiekortie
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27 Oct 2017, 1:35 pm

Yep....that's how I learned much "social interaction." By observation when I'm not anxious.

Some of it was "forced," though, by my parents.

I used to have dialogues to myself depicting stuff like what people say when they get to the checkout line at the supermarket (known in the UK as the "queue for the till.")



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27 Oct 2017, 1:51 pm

You have to multitask. You can think of things to say. Or you can observe. Doing both at the same time is hard.