Too many people saying "trust me"

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Me and my husband left a situation where relatives I thought I could trust were taking advantage of us financially. Now mental health is saying I can't trust my husband, that he's abusing me because he dislikes me going places alone and hes taking advantage of my money because he gets none though he keeps trying to... But mental health is trying to convince me to immediately leave him and the family members I am living with now and I need to be in an afc home.

My relatives say I can't trust them but mental health is saying trust them. I don't know who to trust because it seems people I happen to trust take advantage of me somehow and I'm really getting sick of it.

How do you know when you can really trust a person/organization?

And I can never figure out the afc home suggestions though because I don't even have a guardian or payee for my SSI and I drive, shop, cook, etc... I take my husband to appointment and I am his caretaker basically so why do I need one?

It doesnt sound like you need an afc home if you are independant. If you want to stay with your husband its your choice. It doesnt seem like he is taking advantage of you. Trust your gut.

I don't seem to have a gut really... What others say to me is so compelling that I can't counter it. When my husband/relatives talk to me they make sense/seem sincere... When my caseworker talks to me seems the same... when the relatives that turned out to be lying, same thing... I can't tell when people are trying to take advantage/lie, etc...

Ive gotten taken advantage of a few times.

what does "afc" stand for?

I'm sorry you are in such a perplexing situation. But I have thought that possibly your husband does take advantage of you. I have no suggestions, though. Could the afc situation be temporary, to let you clear your head with your food and shelter needs met? What would become of your husband, in that case?

I take it you are currently living with relatives other than the mad, bad uncle? He was very bad for you.

We are living with different relatives but they are insisting we find an apartment soon or we go to the homeless shelter... I keep trying apartments but the complex I used to live in even won't accept us and private landlords have not been interested because we have bad credit and they insist to talk to previous uncle who won't even talk because he was considered our last landlord.

I agree with them about your husband. He won't let you spend any time away from him and it's disturbing. And yes, if he contributes nothing financially and it's all on you, then he is taking advantage of you financially.

If you were in an AFC home then he couldn't take advantage any more and you could spend some time by yourself. I have always thought that your husband was controlling/abusive from past posts where you were trying to work and he was insisting he had to be there too (which is weird).

Yeah, there has been a discussion about if he's trying to be intentionally abusive or not. I started marriage counseling and that lady thinks he has anxiety and the issue can be worked on. He's never been physically, verbally or sexually abusive. He's been trying to get SSI but we've been told it will still be maybe a year or two.

On the other hand my financial troubles and bad credit are because we have such little money. And my relatives taking advantage of us might be too hard to recover from.

Today we meet with another private landlord but I don't know, we've had bad landlords in the past.

You got to stand up for yourself to your relatives or you might go crazy.

Angnix, see if the same people who wanted you to go to an AFC home can pull some strings to get you instead into a low-income apartment. I realize those are two different programs, but it seems like you can make a case for independent living and it would get you out of these conflicts you have with relatives. (To be fair to your current set of relatives, having extended-stay house guests is quite an imposition.)

Good luck!

We actually found an apartment now... And now community mental health wants me to get into an employment program maybe this will work out after all?

Congratulations on finding housing! Take the time to settle in and make sure you dot all the i's and cross all the t's ... for instance, don't overlook using a check-in report to note any problems, damage, repairs needed, etc., so you don't get charged for them at move-out time.

I encourage you to work closely with the job re-entry program. Due to the length of time you have been unemployed, the most important objective for you now is to establish employment stability. It's not so important that you love the job or love your supervisor. What matters is sticking with a job, however humble, until you have built up that dependability.

In seeking employment you will have to be open to facing your shortcomings, so that you can overcome them. This overwhelms some people, and is an interesting challenge for others. By shortcomings I mean things like getting overwhelmed easily, getting depressed and not going in to the job, and so on. You don't have to talk with your work supervisor about those things, but you should talk to your employment program counselor frankly, so you can work on these negatives.

Yes, I think this could, indeed, work, and how GREAT to be away from that abusive and cranky uncle! Happy for you.

This is also the time to put a boundary in place for your husband - any employment-related meetings, interviews or actual work is YOU ONLY, he cannot come. He will need to address his own problems during this time.