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KagamineLen
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17 Oct 2017, 12:30 am

The more I think about it, the more I realize I really want a man in my life who is on equal terms with me in the relationship.

I want a loving give and take scenario.

I really do not want reinforced power differentials. That may be most of what I know, but f**k it, I do not want to remain comfortable in misery for the rest of my life.

The trick is getting myself out there. And with my obvious speech impediment, that is quite difficult for me to do.

Hmmm..... Maybe I should start a local Gay Aspie meetup. Couldn't hurt at this point.



Max1951
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20 Oct 2017, 8:32 am

KagamineLen wrote:
The more I think about it, the more I realize I really want a man in my life who is on equal terms with me in the relationship.

I want a loving give and take scenario.

I really do not want reinforced power differentials. That may be most of what I know, but f**k it, I do not want to remain comfortable in misery for the rest of my life.

The trick is getting myself out there. And with my obvious speech impediment, that is quite difficult for me to do.

Hmmm..... Maybe I should start a local Gay Aspie meetup. Couldn't hurt at this point.


Are you saying that you feel a need for a platonic gay BFF? It sounds like you felt coerced in a romantic gay relationship; almost like your partner felt that he brought more into the relationship than you did. Do you see a bromance as a way to ease into a relationship; as a way to check out the power dynamic before committing too deeply? Your meetup idea sounds like a good way to go about that. Of course, I'm not sure how many gay aspies are in your area. Sounds like a nice plan though. Good luck.



KagamineLen
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20 Oct 2017, 10:00 am

Max1951 wrote:
KagamineLen wrote:
The more I think about it, the more I realize I really want a man in my life who is on equal terms with me in the relationship.

I want a loving give and take scenario.

I really do not want reinforced power differentials. That may be most of what I know, but f**k it, I do not want to remain comfortable in misery for the rest of my life.

The trick is getting myself out there. And with my obvious speech impediment, that is quite difficult for me to do.

Hmmm..... Maybe I should start a local Gay Aspie meetup. Couldn't hurt at this point.


Are you saying that you feel a need for a platonic gay BFF? It sounds like you felt coerced in a romantic gay relationship; almost like your partner felt that he brought more into the relationship than you did. Do you see a bromance as a way to ease into a relationship; as a way to check out the power dynamic before committing too deeply? Your meetup idea sounds like a good way to go about that. Of course, I'm not sure how many gay aspies are in your area. Sounds like a nice plan though. Good luck.


Most of the relationships I have had have been with men who were more than double my age. The power differential was a turn on for them.

I have not had a relationship in well over a decade now, though.



Max1951
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20 Oct 2017, 10:44 am

KagamineLen wrote:
Most of the relationships I have had have been with men who were more than double my age. The power differential was a turn on for them.

I have not had a relationship in well over a decade now, though.


I have not had a relationship nor a close platonic friendship with a man in over 30 years. I married a woman because the gay lifestyle was just too difficult for me. I couldn't live a gay life and still feel good about myself. This had to do with the societal disapproval at that time, and my aversion to conflict.

The last boyfriend that I had was 16 years my senior. I consider my relationship with him to have been the most satisfying gay relationship I ever had. My wife contacted him and the 3 of us are going to have lunch together in a few days; he's 82 now. I look forward to forming a platonic bond with him, like you talked about. I need male approval more than sex. I wonder how many guys are like that.