18 Oct 2017, 5:39 pm
18 Oct 2017, 7:23 pm
18 Oct 2017, 11:48 pm
Broken Sun Beam wrote:
Been talking about issues with bullying with my husband and my family a little and I'm a bit frustrated because they don't understand.
They like to say "I know how you feel I get bullied too." And by no means do I mean to suggest they don't feel that kind of pain or that it doesn't hurt them. However they've never been so massively singled out by a large number of people to the point that they were forced to resign from their jobs or blatantly fired.
And it's frustrating because they want to argue with me that they do understand. I don't want them to try to understand because they won't. I want them to understand the degree of loneliness that I feel because I don't know anyone else in person that faces this struggle.
Someone that has aspergers and gets singled out because of it. Gets taken advantage of because of their communication issues.
I always find myself wondering what people's real motives are and if I can trust them because I feel like the only friends I make are people who need a ride to work.
My mom and husband keep telling me it's going to get better and I get SO SICK of hearing it's going to get better. It's such BS. I know it's not going to get better. I Have to live with this because it's been this way for 26 years and it hasn't gotten better. I just want someone to understand it's not getting better and to just accept it with me and just lend an ear. But everyone keeps feeding me the same lines that I've heard since grade school and I've heard all of it and I just don't want to hear it anymore...
They like to say "I know how you feel I get bullied too." And by no means do I mean to suggest they don't feel that kind of pain or that it doesn't hurt them. However they've never been so massively singled out by a large number of people to the point that they were forced to resign from their jobs or blatantly fired.
And it's frustrating because they want to argue with me that they do understand. I don't want them to try to understand because they won't. I want them to understand the degree of loneliness that I feel because I don't know anyone else in person that faces this struggle.
Someone that has aspergers and gets singled out because of it. Gets taken advantage of because of their communication issues.
I always find myself wondering what people's real motives are and if I can trust them because I feel like the only friends I make are people who need a ride to work.
My mom and husband keep telling me it's going to get better and I get SO SICK of hearing it's going to get better. It's such BS. I know it's not going to get better. I Have to live with this because it's been this way for 26 years and it hasn't gotten better. I just want someone to understand it's not getting better and to just accept it with me and just lend an ear. But everyone keeps feeding me the same lines that I've heard since grade school and I've heard all of it and I just don't want to hear it anymore...
I've experienced many of the same situations and emotions that you have because of this Aspie thing that we all have. And I'm not convinced it's such a mild form of autism after all. The effect that this form of ASD has on NTs is undeniable and can be quite hurtful and extreme to us. Especially in workplace situations.
From being socially isolated to being drummed out of our workplaces because of our difficulties with communication as well as the constant threat of someone taking advantage of us. I have struggled with these issues for more than 40 years and when it comes to someone being different from an NT I'm afraid that's something they will never accept, it seems.
Being disabled and being gifted at the same time is something that appears to be completely intolerable to most NTs. There are a few compassionate ones out there and I've even been able to have made friends with some of them but even for them being an Aspie has been a strain on our relationship.
_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***
ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.
Keep calm and stim away.
Last edited by xatrix26 on 19 Oct 2017, 3:07 am, edited 2 times in total.
19 Oct 2017, 12:56 am
starkid wrote:
Maybe you should tell them or show them your post.
I think maybe I'll reiterate some of what I said I this post. I till arguing with them for a but got me riled up a tad.
19 Oct 2017, 1:15 am
19 Oct 2017, 2:58 am
Broken Sun Beam wrote:
Feel a little bit lost. I almost wish I knew someone who was more experienced at being autistic. Lol...
Or even just someone to bounce ideas off with. For instance handling educating neurotypicals on autism. Managing emotions. How to talk to my boss about it if it becomes an issue at work... so many things.
Or even just someone to bounce ideas off with. For instance handling educating neurotypicals on autism. Managing emotions. How to talk to my boss about it if it becomes an issue at work... so many things.
That's what this forum is for, isn't it? You might find people who can help you from here.
19 Oct 2017, 5:11 am
Fireblossom wrote:
Broken Sun Beam wrote:
Feel a little bit lost. I almost wish I knew someone who was more experienced at being autistic. Lol...
Or even just someone to bounce ideas off with. For instance handling educating neurotypicals on autism. Managing emotions. How to talk to my boss about it if it becomes an issue at work... so many things.
Or even just someone to bounce ideas off with. For instance handling educating neurotypicals on autism. Managing emotions. How to talk to my boss about it if it becomes an issue at work... so many things.
That's what this forum is for, isn't it? You might find people who can help you from here.
Yeah these forums are a great place to start and have been a godsend for me because I was only recently diagnosed with Asperger's in my 40s. I would love to give you some advice but I really don't have any because I'm still trying to figure all of this out myself after decades of denying what I thought to be true but couldn't accept or was simply too scared to face.
My dad beat the hell out of me every time I stimmed or acted out or misbehaved in any way shape or form. My mother even got in on the act. And all of that repression and denial and abuse caused me to have a heart attack at 34 years old. And after all those years of physical and emotional abuse it didn't stop the stimming or any aspect of this Asperger's thing. They were simply too stupid to figure that out and I was simply too scared to do anything about it.
All my parents cared about was us acting like a normal family and they couldn't accept that their sons had a serious mental condition and denial was literally beaten into us as a way of dealing with it. They simply ignored all of the warning signs and didn't care.
Hey, at least you're quite a bit younger than I was when you received your diagnosis so you definitely have an advantage on me in this case.
_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***
ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.
Keep calm and stim away.
19 Oct 2017, 6:55 pm
xatrix26 wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
Broken Sun Beam wrote:
Feel a little bit lost. I almost wish I knew someone who was more experienced at being autistic. Lol...
Or even just someone to bounce ideas off with. For instance handling educating neurotypicals on autism. Managing emotions. How to talk to my boss about it if it becomes an issue at work... so many things.
Or even just someone to bounce ideas off with. For instance handling educating neurotypicals on autism. Managing emotions. How to talk to my boss about it if it becomes an issue at work... so many things.
That's what this forum is for, isn't it? You might find people who can help you from here.
Yeah these forums are a great place to start and have been a godsend for me because I was only recently diagnosed with Asperger's in my 40s. I would love to give you some advice but I really don't have any because I'm still trying to figure all of this out myself after decades of denying what I thought to be true but couldn't accept or was simply too scared to face.
My dad beat the hell out of me every time I stimmed or acted out or misbehaved in any way shape or form. My mother even got in on the act. And all of that repression and denial and abuse caused me to have a heart attack at 34 years old. And after all those years of physical and emotional abuse it didn't stop the stimming or any aspect of this Asperger's thing. They were simply too stupid to figure that out and I was simply too scared to do anything about it.
All my parents cared about was us acting like a normal family and they couldn't accept that their sons had a serious mental condition and denial was literally beaten into us as a way of dealing with it. They simply ignored all of the warning signs and didn't care.
Hey, at least you're quite a bit younger than I was when you received your diagnosis so you definitely have an advantage on me in this case.
Damn your life sounds almost identical to mine. My dad was the same way!
He used to beat me up for my stimms!! ! He also would scream at me to look him in the eye and when I did he slapped me so I was like twice as scared to look at people. Parents are dumb sometimes eh? Thank goodness I don't have to deal with that anymore! I hope you were able to get away from it also. It's relieving to know that it wasn't really my fault... I always thought I was just a bad kid. But now we know the truth. ^_^
19 Oct 2017, 7:34 pm
19 Oct 2017, 8:19 pm
Esmerelda Weatherwax wrote:
Oh dear God, I am reading how you both (Xatrix and SunBeam) were treated by your parents! In your homes! The one place on earth where you should have been accepted and safe!
Do not worry about my feelings. That's not what this post is about. I just wish there was something I could do to make those past wounds less deep for each of you. To whatever extent that helps, knowing someone now cares how you were treated then, take it with my blessing. I am sure I'm not the only one here reacting this way.
@Xatrix: bizarre, is it not, that people are so stunned by the existence of autistic/Aspie adults? People you'd expect *not* to be stunned? I generally try to keep my filters on - i.e. self-edit, be tactful - but I did ask a medical professional I know what was up with that. I asked if people really believe that Aspies all evaporate or are miraculously cured between the ages of 18 and 22. He said that people probably didn't think it through. He didn't excuse this, in fact I could see it beginning to bother him. (Edit in: which was a good thing, since it might lead to positive action down the pike.)
Do not worry about my feelings. That's not what this post is about. I just wish there was something I could do to make those past wounds less deep for each of you. To whatever extent that helps, knowing someone now cares how you were treated then, take it with my blessing. I am sure I'm not the only one here reacting this way.
@Xatrix: bizarre, is it not, that people are so stunned by the existence of autistic/Aspie adults? People you'd expect *not* to be stunned? I generally try to keep my filters on - i.e. self-edit, be tactful - but I did ask a medical professional I know what was up with that. I asked if people really believe that Aspies all evaporate or are miraculously cured between the ages of 18 and 22. He said that people probably didn't think it through. He didn't excuse this, in fact I could see it beginning to bother him. (Edit in: which was a good thing, since it might lead to positive action down the pike.)
Thanks Esmerelda, that means a lot to me and I'm sure to Sunbeam as well. It would appear that old attitudes regarding the treatment of Autistic children were somewhat barbaric. And still are barbaric in many countries. We would have greatly appreciated a much more humane way to deal with this condition but we are left with the emotional scars of parents who simply didn't care enough. Those who were charged with our safety and safe keeping, no less.
I'm sure you and many of us Aspies have also had similar experiences and I think it's important that we bring these experiences to light. These awesome forums are such a godsend for me and I'm sure to everyone who contributes regularly.
And Yes Esme, I have also found it to be odd that people assume Autism gets cured with adulthood automatically. But of course it does not and in some cases only gets worse. It's quite an irritating stigma to be dealing with isn't it?
_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***
ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.
Keep calm and stim away.
19 Oct 2017, 11:44 pm
19 Oct 2017, 11:49 pm
19 Oct 2017, 11:53 pm
20 Oct 2017, 6:07 am
20 Oct 2017, 7:22 am
20 Oct 2017, 8:10 am
Broken Sun Beam wrote:
Ragnahawk wrote:
Broken Sun Beam wrote:
Been talking about issues with bullying with my husband and my family a little and I'm a bit frustrated because they don't understand.
They like to say "I know how you feel I get bullied too." And by no means do I mean to suggest they don't feel that kind of pain or that it doesn't hurt them. However they've never been so massively singled out by a large number of people to the point that they were forced to resign from their jobs or blatantly fired.
And it's frustrating because they want to argue with me that they do understand. I don't want them to try to understand because they won't. I want them to understand the degree of loneliness that I feel because I don't know anyone else in person that faces this struggle.
Someone that has aspergers and gets singled out because of it. Gets taken advantage of because of their communication issues.
I always find myself wondering what people's real motives are and if I can trust them because I feel like the only friends I make are people who need a ride to work.
My mom and husband keep telling me it's going to get better and I get SO SICK of hearing it's going to get better. It's such BS. I know it's not going to get better. I Have to live with this because it's been this way for 26 years and it hasn't gotten better. I just want someone to understand it's not getting better and to just accept it with me and just lend an ear. But everyone keeps feeding me the same lines that I've heard since grade school and I've heard all of it and I just don't want to hear it anymore...
They like to say "I know how you feel I get bullied too." And by no means do I mean to suggest they don't feel that kind of pain or that it doesn't hurt them. However they've never been so massively singled out by a large number of people to the point that they were forced to resign from their jobs or blatantly fired.
And it's frustrating because they want to argue with me that they do understand. I don't want them to try to understand because they won't. I want them to understand the degree of loneliness that I feel because I don't know anyone else in person that faces this struggle.
Someone that has aspergers and gets singled out because of it. Gets taken advantage of because of their communication issues.
I always find myself wondering what people's real motives are and if I can trust them because I feel like the only friends I make are people who need a ride to work.
My mom and husband keep telling me it's going to get better and I get SO SICK of hearing it's going to get better. It's such BS. I know it's not going to get better. I Have to live with this because it's been this way for 26 years and it hasn't gotten better. I just want someone to understand it's not getting better and to just accept it with me and just lend an ear. But everyone keeps feeding me the same lines that I've heard since grade school and I've heard all of it and I just don't want to hear it anymore...
These people aren't trying to change you! Don't associate good will towards you as your father's abuse!! ! How can you be unfair to them when you have been simple your whole life? You always give the same responses. If you want to continue down this path of blame.. your just a aspy version of your father at that point. Yeah it's disgusting medicine, I know. I hurt people for them. Now take a deep breath, reanalyze the situation with the new information and have more respect for your husband's intent. I have respect for anybody that tells me it will get better. Because maybe they think I have heard it before and maybe I'm a little too stubborn it won't get better. That maybe I have been to lazy to fix it.
Also I like undertale too. Great game.
I appreciate what you're trying to do... but I don't think you know what you're saying when you go around comparing people to their abusive parents... and it's not helpful...
I agree with Sunbeam. Careful Ragnahawk, this is a very tender subject for both of us.
_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***
ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.
Keep calm and stim away.
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