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AceofPens
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19 Oct 2017, 1:11 pm

What I mean by lower-high-functioning is: females whose symptoms severely interfere with their ability to function. I ask because it seems that every female I meet with autism is super high-functioning, and I know that's partly because girls are better at masking and repressing symptoms, but as a girl, I certainly lack that ability. Other female autistics my age are going to universities and working part-time jobs, entering relationships, and this is all impossible for me. I've always related far more to males on the spectrum, but I'd like to think that I'm not the only one.


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dragonsanddemons
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19 Oct 2017, 2:07 pm

I probably fit into that category. I'd classify myself as moderate-functioning, at least for someone diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I also lack the ability to mask or pass as NT for any amount of time, and relate more in general to autistic males than autistic females. It's very obvious to anyone trying to interact with me at all that something's up with me, at least. I did go to college and graduate, but I've been having a heck of a time trying to get a job afterward, and have never been in any sort of romantic relationship (not that I really have any desire to be). I'm easily overwhelmed especially by noise and crowds to the point of a shutdown/meltdown, can't concentrate on things like reading and have trouble understanding what people are saying if there's any sort of "background noise," and when I get overwhelmed, overloaded, very tired or stressed, or am experiencing any sort of strong emotion, it gets harder for me to speak understandably, sometimes getting to the point where I can't force my vocal cords into action at all. All of these have significant impacts on my daily life.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
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hobojungle
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19 Oct 2017, 5:39 pm

Yes. I almost dropped out of high school & did drop out of college. I did have a job for 14 years (data entry) but now I’m unemployed & living with my parents. No interest in dating. I force myself to go to a support group once a week because I think it helps me even though it also takes a lot out of me.



Lumi
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19 Oct 2017, 8:01 pm

I think this category fits my challenges too. Not independently living by myself...if I were to date, I would need a guy that is more of a caretaker. I think if I were to go to school again (I dropped out after one semester of college, only able to sort of handle two classes) or a job, I know I need some help. When I get emotional, I can appear calm then have a need to get it out violently or start crying and rocking. I am calm the majority of the time, though my muscle system is frequently tense (part of my sensory processing too much and too little).


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AceofPens
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19 Oct 2017, 8:25 pm

Thanks for the replies. I become frustrated with the constant portrayal of female autism as invisible. It's the only form of female HFA that seems to be brought to the forefront, so much so that I feel like it's become the standard expectation. All those Ted Talks and female autism advocates, media representations...I feel like that must be such a tiny portion of the female ASD population, and yet it's all I see.


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dragonsanddemons
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19 Oct 2017, 8:34 pm

AceofPens wrote:
Thanks for the replies. I become frustrated with the constant portrayal of female autism as invisible. It's the only form of female HFA that seems to be brought to the forefront, so much so that I feel like it's become the standard expectation. All those Ted Talks and female autism advocates, media representations...I feel like that must be such a tiny portion of the female ASD population, and yet it's all I see.


It's a major frustration for me, too, and makes me feel even more alone when that's all I see. Glad to see I'm not the only one :)


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


kahhh
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20 Oct 2017, 2:29 am

I guess I probably am. I'm not sure but would guess I've usually "passed" and most people usually thought I was neurotypical and just shy. I think at times I managed a little better, and kind of got through trying to keep stress as low as possible so I could hold it together more easily. This year especially though, I've kind of gone downhill and given up a bit, am unemployed, and not even sure if I can pass as neurotypical or how I come across around people, honestly.