People in relationships don't understand

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Are there ever other single men in these groups than you? Are they treated the same way as you are?

When my wife's health allowed it she would host parties for support groups, some of which were mostly single people.
I learned that when cooking for lower income people, chicken was much more popular than steak. I'm pretty good at cooking steak, so it may have more to do with what people are familiar eating.

For the most part, no. I'm usually the only one. Perhaps that's the explanation. There's another single man who comes once every few months, but me and him have very little in common with him, so we don't really talk much.

I don't know if the couples' actions are due to social negligence (not unlike that of aspies), or thinly veiled efforts to tell me "shape up or ship out". I don't have an issue with "shipping out"; I just don't think it's fair to be upstaged like that. I know life is not supposed to be fair, considering that society seems to want it that way, but just saying.

I just thought it was possible that maybe they aren't against single men in general and just have something against you... I suppose if there aren't really other guys then you can't know for sure. Which ever way it is, if you're not comfortable with the way you're treated it might be better to find new people to hang out with.

I think your best bet is finding other men in a similar situation.

When I was in relationship, it was easier to hang out with other couples, when I'm single, it's easier to hang out with other single men, so I can easily relate.

I had something happen that prompted me to reply to your post yet again. Last night (Sunday), I was hanging out with "the couples" again. Only this time, one of the girlfriends couldn't make it; she came down with a cold. And contrary to his usual stance, her boyfriend came alone. So basically, it was me (the single loser), one couple, and one friend with a girlfriend at home. It was the first time ever such a combination existed in our group. We were all hanging out in a cozy dive bar that backed onto a rail line; I could hear the rumble of a passing freight train inside.

Whoa!! ! The social dynamic felt so different from the norm! That night, the group treated me the way it treats single women: as an honorary couple. There was no cloud of toxicity that always looms over our group, every time I join them as a 3rd/5th/7th wheel. All in all, it was comparable to the time I started talking to a group of couples on a train, and they engaged me in conversation. (They were going to a rock concert; I was going to a singles' event.)

So rag me if you must, but it seems like the strong chemistry between the girlfriends is what makes me look and feel like a loser, time and time again. Like it's due to pheromones or something. Last night, without the second girlfriend on the scene, it felt like a regular group of friends, even though it was clear that I wasn't an actual member of the "couples club".

Honestly, I'm flabbergasted. Who would have thought!

I have a hard time understanding why you've been stuck single for so long. Nothing about you gives off any obvious red flags. Maybe you've just always been in the wrong place at the wrong time; around men whose eyes are on other women.

I have been alone since i was 16...i am 26 now.....and i know i will be alone my whole life.....there is nothing i can do about it.....

living my whole life without any friends is a depressing thought...

Short answer:
I used to look hideous, and no woman wanted me. And today, even though I aged into my looks, I want nothing to do with dating/relationships, for a combination of reasons.

Long answer:
From puberty to about 27, I was pretty damn ugly. No woman wanted me. I didn't go on my first real date until I was 18. I had my first kiss at 20. I even had to lose my virginity to an escort. Then, I had one hell of a time getting dates, with most women flaking on me and wasting my time. The few relationships I had weren't satisfying. But around age 27, women started giving me romantic attention. Not sex, but light gestures of affection that felt really flattering. Then last year, two long-time friends settled down, and they kicked me to the curb. Their social lives are now either with their respective girlfriends or with other couples. And due to the strong social chemistry between the girlfriends, being around the couples feels borderline toxic. I found alternative social outlets, but I still got permanently scared away from relationships.

So there you have it. I used to be single because I was forced to, due to my ugly face. Now, I'm single because being in a relationship is much more unpleasant.

I was talking to Hurtloam, not you.

In my observation, you only see a very small tip of the iceberg in the WPers' love struggle stories here - especially when it's coming from the ladies....

The thing to note here is that this may be specific to these specific women. Please don't assume it will always be that way.

I am happy to hear you had a good night with old friends.

Yeah we can't really see each other's conversational abilities in person or our mannerisms.

I've always enjoyed writing, English was my favourite subject at school. I feel comfortable expressing myself in text rather than words. In real life I am cold and awkward. My mum says I'm too disagreeable with people. I can't just nod and smile sometimes... even though I find I keep my thoughts to myself a great deal of the time.

I don't live in the country of my birth. I think that's a big deal as well. People like those who are similar to them. I really do think I need another foreigner.

I am cautious too. I've had trouble finding interest, but now I'm older and can see the mistakes my peers have made I feel happier that I'm single and free rather than intertwined with the wrong person.

Doesn't mean things can't change for either of us. I just think we are unusual and need to find like-minded unusual people to share life with. Regular peeps are dull to people like us and we are dull to them.

Biggest loss to me was a quirky friend my own age. He's been long term single too, but he didn't like me back. I'd rather have an oddball like him than someone bland. I will wait for another oddball rather than try and make something work that isn't right just to tick the 'I'm in a relationship box.'

I think that freaks couples out. The determined strong-mindedness. They can't get their heads around how we don't just settle down like them.

And I think it freaks out potential partners too who look at us and wonder how they can ever be good enough for us, so they give up before they even begin.

You’re not English? Where were you born?

I don't like to give too many personal details publicly.