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Lelu_4
Butterfly
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21 Oct 2017, 5:29 pm

I am newly diagnosed ASD, I am finding it hard to find much information around about what happens during an adult female meltdown. I know everyone is different to an extent, but I am curious in particular whether or not other people experience physical illness as part of a meltdown (think nausea, vomiting at times, diahorrea, stomach cramps, headaches, gastritis, even liver pain etc)

At the onset of these symptoms I get upset and have the overwhelming need to cry, excessively. My husband can never understand why I get so upset about feeling sick. He doesn't know how to handle it and goes from gently trying to console me to taking on the 'bad cop' type role and getting very stern telling me to stop it and snap out if it. He then gets very cross and broody which I can't handle.

I assume this is actually a meltdown on my behalf.
I have been hospitalised on such occasions quite a few times in the past only for me to come good after a while and them to find absolutely nothing physically wrong with me though blood tests and scans.
Does anyone else have experiences like this?



shilohmm
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21 Oct 2017, 7:19 pm

I don't think of them as meltdowns, but I deal with nausea and retching and stomach pains and the like when I've got to do something social and am just barely coping. Like if I know I have to go somewhere in the evening, the nausea will build through the day and I won't be able to eat much if anything until the event is over. I will be on the edge of tears the entire time as well, but usually don't give into them any more.

If anyone ever scolded me for it I would totally lose it and have a meltdown, but so long as not too many things go wrong that day, and I can keep actual social interaction to a minimum at the event, I can usually hold out until I get home. I may cry after but it isn't overwhelming because the worst is behind me, I suppose. If I start crying earlier in the day, I'm not likely to stop crying for a good while and I won't make the event.

Are you getting upset about the feeling sick part, or about whatever it was that triggered the sickness? I worry about throwing up because I often can't stop without getting meds, but other than that the sickness is so clearly a symptom and not the cause I don't worry about it much. But I hate doctors and had an emergency appendectomy and emergency gall bladder surgery because I refused to recognize either as a problem until it was almost too late, so I'm probably prone to minimize medical issues.



underwater
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21 Oct 2017, 10:56 pm

If your husband can't handle your meltdowns he needs to give you space. He's making it worse.


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Lelu_4
Butterfly
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22 Oct 2017, 8:44 pm

shilohmm wrote:
I don't think of them as meltdowns, but I deal with nausea and retching and stomach pains and the like when I've got to do something social and am just barely coping. Like if I know I have to go somewhere in the evening, the nausea will build through the day and I won't be able to eat much if anything until the event is over. I will be on the edge of tears the entire time as well, but usually don't give into them any more.

If anyone ever scolded me for it I would totally lose it and have a meltdown, but so long as not too many things go wrong that day, and I can keep actual social interaction to a minimum at the event, I can usually hold out until I get home. I may cry after but it isn't overwhelming because the worst is behind me, I suppose. If I start crying earlier in the day, I'm not likely to stop crying for a good while and I won't make the event.

Are you getting upset about the feeling sick part, or about whatever it was that triggered the sickness? I worry about throwing up because I often can't stop without getting meds, but other than that the sickness is so clearly a symptom and not the cause I don't worry about it much. But I hate doctors and had an emergency appendectomy and emergency gall bladder surgery because I refused to recognize either as a problem until it was almost too late, so I'm probably prone to minimize medical issues.



To be honest I think the upset is the feeling of being out of control, of both my emotions and the feeling of being sick. I have a long history of stomach issues and tend to find once I start vomiting that it's very difficult to make it stop (exactly like you experience really).



shilohmm
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23 Oct 2017, 12:33 pm

Lelu_4 wrote:

To be honest I think the upset is the feeling of being out of control, of both my emotions and the feeling of being sick.


I hate that out of control feeling. I have long believed that my mind is strong and when it's in total control, I'm safe, but if my emotions or body start taking over, that means I'm in some sort of danger and it's a huge problem. Although I'm pretty sure the nausea and whatnot is psychosomatic, meaning my mind is in control, and it's sending me a message via the body, if you will. The message, of course, being that I'm out of control and things are going badly, but why it has to handicap my coping systems as part of the message I do not know. :roll:

Still, viewing it as a coping mechanism and not as my body going haywire does help sometimes. And my mind -- or at least, my brain -- is not really so reliable as I'd like to think. It's deeply fragmented, just for starts; I'm highly dissociative. But it's usually right when it's telling me, via nausea and emotions, that I'm in the wrong environment somehow. The challenge is finding that right environment. :P

Gotta agree with underwater that your husband is not helping. What you can do about that I dunno. If you have a counselor or psychiatrist or whatever, maybe they could work with you and explain to your husband what's going on and teach him some better coping mechanisms, but that, alas, assumes he is teachable, which is by no means a given! But it does seem like getting him to give you space instead to trying to "fix" you would help. It would be nice if someone could drill it into him that you can't fix people, and shouldn't even try. The best anyone can do is support people where they're at, and give them the resources they need to change things if they want to and can.



loobyloukitty
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04 Nov 2017, 2:24 pm

I have been physically sick, mostly recently. Have alot of anxiety at the moment. My bf is aspi like me so he is not the best and he sometimes says hurtful things. Its difficult, just concentrate on you really and worry about others later.



peregrina
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07 Jan 2018, 4:25 pm

When too much of upsetting things happen and I just can't handle it. I cannot sleep, cannot eat because of nausea and vomiting. Severe circumstance can trigger meltdowns (crying uncontrollably and sometimes hitting myself), and after meltdowns I feel tired, weak, sick and I vomit.