Do you ever just want accquitances more than best friends

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Hey there,

I wanted to know if there are people out there that can kinda relate to wanting acquaintances more than an actual friendship. My reasons for preferring acquaintances are as follows:
- To avoid social errors when getting too close with someone and being required to play counselor when people vent
- I'm more focused on doing music and trying to find a sustainable career that involves music to prevent from getting fired
- I prefer friendships that focus on my skills 80% of the time and focuses little on emotional bonding.

To me an acquaintance is a format of friendship that requires less emphasis on emotional bonding and more on skills/something superficial.

I'm actually the opposite. I have way more acquaintances than friends - in fact, I really only have one person in my life whom I'm confident enough to call a friend at all. But I wish I had more. I thrive off deep conversations, and I want to have more people in my life with whom I can talk deep thoughts and to whom I can open up. And yet, most of my interpersonal relationships get stuck in the "acquaintance" area somehow.

I'm the same as whatamievendoing -- I have too many shallow acquaintance relationships in my life and not enough deeper and real friendships. I prefer deep conversations with meaning, and I can't get any of those with the acquaintances I have.

I find this a frustrating situation. I don't actively want a ton of friends, as I too don't have the time, I'm very focused on my interests. But I do wish I had just ONE deep friendship with someone who truly "gets" me, rather than all these unsatisfying shallow ones.

Yeah...me too!

I really don't know too many people with whom I could confide "deep" things.

I'm not a particularly "abstract" person most of the time----but there are times when I get more reflective, and want to share my reflections with someone else.

It would be great if the birds could share their wisdom in the English language.

Ah, my birdies! I feel close with them even though we can't talk about anything, lol!

The friendship of an animal is so special; I know your cat you had meant the world to you, kraftie.

Yep....Zum Zum, possibly, kept me from wanting to become a monk when I was 15.

I was in a sort of depression then that could have become worse under the conditions of the 2010's. That's why there I times when I wish serial killers and the like wouldn't be so psychoanalyzed like they are these days; it renders these sorts of people "interesting" in some aspect. It gives them a "forum," so to speak, for their extremely screwy views.

Perhaps, in my 15-year-old mind, I could have become influenced by all the psychobabble spewed in reference to these serial killers.

I'd like a few acquaintances with common interests, and one or two more real friends - I have a married cousin and they're lovely people, but they have full lives.

I do more things alone than I'd like. On the other hand, I've had a problem all my life with attracting clingy people who don't accept boundaries. So frustrating, because no matter how you present "no", they *won't* hear you, and there's always unpleasantness at the end.

I've become avoidant, for all intents and purposes, just because I don't want to go through that any more (shudder).

This seemed to be less of a problem when I was younger, though it still happened. People hadn't paired off en masse, and it was easier to find both acquaintances and friends. Hmm. So maybe at my age the pool is "clingy-enriched", because those poor souls are still floating about. I hadn't thought of that.

Yep...I know what you mean.

I've had problems with "clingy" people all my life. Yes, it can get unpleasant.

I just spoke to somebody yesterday whom I hadn't seen in over 20 years. It was like we spoke yesterday. I am content with that---with people who don't believe "friendship" involves hanging out 24/7.

I have made a few acquaintances, and I'm happy with that. I don't want anything more.

When I was younger I used to yearn for close friendships and for someone to have deep conversation with, but as an adult, I'm a lot more distant and reserved than I used to be. I have to be careful not to become a recluse and I do need to improve my social skills, so I like to get to know people and have a little natter every now and then.

At the same time, though, I can't seem to truly connect with other people emotionally, no matter how nice they are or how much I get to know them. Whenever I have very deep thoughts, I'd rather keep them to myself - I can't seem to trust or warm up to people, and deep conversations make me feel uncomfortable and on-edge. Anyway, I don't have enough social energy to maintain a proper friendship with someone. I'd rather keep it simple and have no friends, just a couple of acquaintances with common interests.

I sometimes worry that the obligations of friendship could turn out to be very demanding for me, such as having to find time to spend together, helping with major problems, occasional arguments, etc. In the end I think it's worthwhile. An acquaintance might not ask much of you, but they also won't offer much. If I only had acquaintances, I think I would miss being able to ask different people for different perspectives on problems I'm having in my life, or asking for help with something, or like others have said enjoying deeper conversations with.

I have aquaintences, but I'd like to have a best friend.

I'm absolutely fine with only having a few acquaintances.
I find you can have a little bit of friendly interaction once every now and then, and that's all. There's no pressure to do anything more than that.

I've tried friendships over the years, but they're just too demanding. I find I very quickly lose interest in a person if I see too much of them.
I realise that that's completely my problem, and that NT's can really enjoy the company of good friends, but I just can't handle the pressure, and it usually ends badly.

I'm quite happy with acquaintances.

I only have acquaintances out here. Had some friends where I used to live but hard to keep a friendship going long distance. I lived on the west. Now I'm in Florida.

I prefer acquaintances to friends, although I have a couple good friends. With acquaintanceships, there is generally, less risk, or loss involved if things should go awry, and, with an acquaintance, you can, still, experience some of the same benefits that come with having friends (I think someone else may have, already, mentioned that). Friends can become larger than life, and after you've put your whole heart into a friendship, the friend can suddenly show you a side of themselves, that you might never have thought could have existed, which can be extremely disheartening and difficult to heal from. I do think it is important to have at least one, good friend of whom you can trust, confide in and who's demeanor, acceptance and compassion towards you (and others) is consistent, forgiving and unwavering.