My only friend is busy hanging out with his other friends

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Error0101
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27 Oct 2017, 11:56 am

I only have one real friend, and he's the type of guy to be really social. He's made some friends that he's always with this year and I can never talk to him, because they all talk about things I have no idea about. I'm feeling really lonely and I'm getting majorly depressed. Any ideas on ways to make the situation any better? Thanks.



Fireblossom
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28 Oct 2017, 10:17 am

Well you could try to make new friends, but if that seems too hard or you want results sooner, then you could try to hang out with this friend of yours and his new friends. If you don't understand what they're talking about, try to find out about those things so that you too can take part in the conversation... or you could try to steer the conversation to some other topic that you can talk about.



shortfatbalduglyman
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28 Oct 2017, 1:22 pm

Get a hobby

The problem is that your friend has the monopoly

If you are "depressed" go to a counselor

Depression is a diagnosis, not an emotion

If you do not give your friend space, your friend might hold a grudge against you



hobojungle
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28 Oct 2017, 1:46 pm

Engage in your special interest. Perhaps you might make another friend this way? Allow yourself to grieve the loss of your friend’s company. Appreciate you made such a friend & it is within the realm of possibility to make another. Be patient with yourself & others. Keep taking steps in a positive direction, no matter how small. It’s okay to cry. Crying excretes stress hormones & releases endorphins: a mood altering experience. Just make sure to stay hydrated. Keep journaling about your struggle to process your emotions. I hope you feel better one day.



banana247
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08 Nov 2017, 2:00 pm

If you're invited to the things but just feel awkward and not able to mesh well once you get there, that's different than if your friend stopped hanging out with you in lieu of new friends.

It's hard not to assume the worst, I get it, but you'll have to give the benefit of the doubt and assume that your friend does have new friends but still values your relationship the same... invite him to things or try to make the plans you usually would, and if he says he's busy then try to figure out a time that works, but avoid getting flustered or agitated if possible. I think it will become apparent if he is avoiding you or wants to "move on", or if he is just getting busier with other things and new relationships. Maybe you can't hang out as much as you used to, but that doesn't mean your relationship is no good.



B19
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08 Nov 2017, 4:14 pm

I can understand your hurt. Join some Meet-Up groups that share your interests or share issues you have, like shyness etc, it's a great way to make friends with people who understand because they have experienced similar problems. Peer support is powerful. Move on. When your friend notices you have moved on and made new friends, then oddly enough, you may find that you are suddenly invited to things by him..



hale_bopp
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09 Nov 2017, 4:43 am

Looking at your age, you’re still in high school. I have similar regrets, but somthing I wish I had done was go to interest groups and try to make friends outside the school social hierarchy. I imagine it would have been great for confidence.

School is a lonely place when you’re stuck with the same people for 6 years.



Summer_Twilight
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09 Nov 2017, 1:44 pm

It's okay to let him know that while you respect him and his connections to his new friends, you feel that he doesn't seem to make time for you anymore.

I also agree about getting involved in a special interest group or a club where you have other like-minded people. Sometimes you can make friends with your teachers, librarian and even the bus driver. When I was your age, I was left out of my peer groups all the time. However, I ended up making friends with my bus driver, as it was a special one-on-one and we are still friends to this day. Your only friend is not the only fish in the sea for you to talk to. Whatever you do, don't put your eggs in one basket because that could get you upset.