Getting people out of my face and space

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LilacViolet
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29 Oct 2017, 8:47 am

Any tips to get through my working day ? I have lots of work to do and I like the work when I can focus and get on.

I'm having trouble with a couple of pest colleagues who treat everything like an emergency and constantly want me to communicate with them. This crap never ends , it's not like you show them something , they learn the task and then they leave you alone. One woman has been this needy and needed constant "training" with me for about 10 years. She talks so fast it completely bamboozles me too. She's getting her attention seeking needs met but I am not getting my need for peace met. I've tried telling her I feel under pressure when she barges up and asks me to instantly show her something. She just says "sorry, I can see how stressed you are" and then does it again later on like a dripping tap. It's making me ill, I am starting to think she likes to see me ill and distressed. What should I do?



ZachGoodwin
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29 Oct 2017, 11:30 am

Work is supposed to be busy and hectic? What type of job is it?



LilacViolet
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29 Oct 2017, 11:44 am

Programming work needing high concentration. I'm glad it's busy but I just can't get on with her interrupting under the guise of needing help- she needs her ego stroking and endless reassurance. I think she comes to work to chat, I do not.



ZachGoodwin
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29 Oct 2017, 4:46 pm

I don't know what your job is like so forgive me for not understanding. What it sounds like is she sees you as a hard worker and is trying to work hard enough as much as you, but is having a hard time even after that 10 years of training. Probably something is not clicking with her and her tasks. If it is programming then I can see how it can be complicated. I don't understand codes that much either. C++ language and visual basic language is alien to me. I can understand math, but codes take a long time to figure out. Office spreadsheets are confusing too. She may also have trouble with her tasks so she talks to people because her tasks feel scary.

But if you want her to stop approaching you just pretend she doesn't exist as mean as that sounds.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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29 Oct 2017, 5:46 pm

I was constantly interrupted in one workplace and finally worked out a strategy to reduce it. This worked for me; hopefully some of these ideas will help.

Put on good headphones, listening to white noise (or pink, if that's easier on you; there are some excellent online white noise generators that are free). Make sure you face the entrance to your office or cubicle when you're on your computer, so you can't be surprised. And make a little sign that says: on deadline, available at (reasonable time, 30 - 90 minutes away. I used a post-it to indicate what time I'd be free so I didn't need to keep making new signs). Position your little sign so it is visible to visitors, and make sure it's large enough so they can read it without having to walk over to your desk. Tape it to the doorframe, or stick it there with a magnet, if you can.

Turn off pop-up email reminders so you can't be undermined that way; set your IM and phone to DND.

The headphones are key. Half the time I just wore earplugs under them, but I always plugged them into my computer. They really set a boundary. Facing the entrance is also key, because you can shrug and look helpless and wave them away with one finger held up in the "in a minute" gesture - point at the sign. Point at it repeatedly if you must. Then get back to work. You've acknowledged them, but you're still focused on your own work.

Obviously you don't ever wave your supervisor away, and if you're being summoned to a meeting or to a quick brainstorming session with management, you go; but this worked for me when peers were pestering. It combines verbal and nonverbal signals and is inoffensive to anyone whose intentions are good. If they complain, their intentions probably *aren't* good, which is worth knowing.

Also obviously, you do have to do this stuff in good faith. Emerge and be available when you've said you will. *But* you can then say, hey, I only have ten minutes; after that, you can say, hey, I have to get back to that project.

Lather, rinse, repeat. It took me a while, but I did eventually train my pests.


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LilacViolet
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30 Oct 2017, 3:29 pm

Thank you Esmerelda, will try those out. I am stuck with the lousy desk position but I can try the rest.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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30 Oct 2017, 6:07 pm

Good luck!


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"I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people," said the man. "You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides."
-- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!