Leaving WP (Again)

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I am leaving WP again,

No need to ban or anything,

I can show self control and just leave.

I feel like s**t, I want to be alone, I want to die more then I ever have in the past, social failure after social failure, I am tried.

I just gonna stay high on pills (legally)

Literally everything has lost value this year to me.

I don't want friends, that much is clear.

I don't want to work on myself, I feel like none of these f*****s get it anyway (Not geared towards anyone here).

f**k basically,

I am going to work on isolation more,

Not call as many people, not chat or forum f**k (might as well be called that).

Death, everywhere, wake up one day and realize its worse then you ever thought, turn and just walk out the door with your head down.

Thats life b***h, you got deal with it, at least that is what they say.

Wake up later and find it was lies and its actually even worse then worse.

Then you die inside, you want to walk out the door, but you can't cause its locked and written in stone and blood.

Not entirely sure who you are,
but I wish you the best.

I read your post so full of pain and suffering. I'd try to change your mind, convince you to keep reaching out, but I know you've heard it all before. I'd tell you that you're funny, that I respect you, but you might not believe me.

Dragnet, hugs, for whatever they are worth.

Life of irony
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Its ironic that I behave in such foolish ways on drugs, when in actuality, I would have done all the above off drugs. Realizing that is massive defeat, drugs are dissociative and my behave mimics dissociative behavior. I think they might hate to hear this, but I believe I have multiple personalty disorder, I really do. Expressing depressed emotions though very real in a controlled setting such as a forum deattaches from the functional (albeit lowly) self from experiencing pain. How did I get multiple personalty disorder? Well when I was abused I was very much not my physical age. I knew nothing in that area, all learned. The irony is I am completely miserable to self which is what dissociative behavior was meant to shield me from in the first place. That is why suicidal thoughts have increased, that is why I tried to kill myself this year. I lost both my dissociative coping skills in one failed sweep, I would say I am miserable off drugs but the reality is my dissociative pattern is broken drugs and all. I can't be a secondary person to abuse anymore, I am that person and I must be alone and consider my thoughts in great depth.

Farewell,

Then I wish you clarity of thought, Dragnet. I hope to hear from you soon.