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xatrix26
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14 Nov 2017, 8:25 pm

SaveFerris wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Too often I imagine arguments


past arguments ( replaying them ) or possible future ones ( trying to work out strategies ) ? I'm not level headed enough to have an argument , arguments usually turn into wars or shutdown with me. I also have a little bit of a problem where I think I am always right ( logic says I can't possibly be right all the time but I think it )


I do this is well. Past arguments that could have gone better are an obsessive-compulsive thing for me. And then trying to work out possible future arguments too. This thinking process is quite destructive for me that's for sure. Sometimes it can ruin my whole day.


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Goth Fairy
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15 Nov 2017, 3:47 am

emmasma wrote:
I daydream constantly and have since I was a child. If I have a day off and plan to get done much needed housework sometimes I just pace and daydream the entire day. I often get annoyed when I have to stop and interect with people (like my kids) because it interrupts my little world. The only times I don't is when I am actively engaged and can break away. I sometimes actually get relief from busy times at work that are stressful because it forces me to pay attention to what I am doing. Alot of times I watch TV while doing chores like folding laundry or doing dishes because it makes me just stay in one place and work (usually tuns into binge watching though which is a whole different problem :roll:). Podcasts help too, but they are easier to tune out.


This is totally me too, except I curl up on the sofa instead of pacing. I tend to find I daydream more when I am stressed or upset. It's definately an escape thing sometimes, but sometimes it's just a fun thing too. Sometimes I daydream about real life but I also daydream about made up characters, or people in TV shows. I have recently been getting more obsessive about my daydreaming, which was starting to worry me, so it is very good to hear that it's not just me. I have seen it in a list of Aspie traits before, particularly in women, but it is so much more comforting to hear other real people's stories.

Also, it is something that is intensely private, I have never spoken to anyone about it. But now I've put in on the internet. I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but I'm having one of those moments where I've got an absolute idea in my head that I need to start talking about it. I may regret it later.


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HighLlama
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15 Nov 2017, 5:16 am

SaveFerris wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Too often I imagine arguments


past arguments ( replaying them ) or possible future ones ( trying to work out strategies ) ? I'm not level headed enough to have an argument , arguments usually turn into wars or shutdown with me. I also have a little bit of a problem where I think I am always right ( logic says I can't possibly be right all the time but I think it )


Both. Some past that I can't forget, some future, or others that are me thinking of what I wish I'd said. I think I'm either too practical and mild mannered, so the other person thinks I don't care and I get nowhere, or I'll become more aggressive because I'm not being heard, which doesn't work either.



Mr SmokeTooMuch
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15 Nov 2017, 10:06 am

I too replay all kind of conversations in my head , but I don't think it's the same as daydreaming .
I think it's an (over)compensation mechanism for underdeveloped communication and verbal reasoning skills .
I don't think anyone can be always right , and we all need to analyze ours and other people's opinions in detail , which can be helped by those conversations .


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fruitloop42
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15 Nov 2017, 11:00 am

Yes. There's a wedding I have to go to in a few weeks and I feel like I've already lived it several times. Pictured the venue (which I haven't seen yet, so lots of things to imagine), had imaginary conversations with other people who I know are going, imagined where I'll be sitting etc etc. I feel like this is why I like to have plans in advance, so I can imagine scenarios before they happen.

When does the daydreaming become maladaptive? I guess I do drift off and daydream in the middle of conversations and I have ended up in scrapes because I've been daydreaming and not concentrating. And I guess it does consume quite a lot of time. But I like doing it.



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15 Nov 2017, 1:42 pm

I'd class the "scripting the future" type day-dreaming as maladaptive for me. It can consume huge amounts of my time, and sometimes leads to physical/mental exhaustion, either from pacing (usually on tiptoe), 'stressed out' posture, or interfering with my sleep. I know well enough after all these years, that two seconds into the real experience, not one of my "scripts" are still going to be on-course, and I don't believe that they have any power to influence reality. When I finally snap out of it, I want to curse myself for being so irrational. So, it is something I wish I had better control over, so that the time and energy could be better spent.


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Khiori
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15 Nov 2017, 5:04 pm

Ha! For so long I thought I was the only person in the world to daydream like this! I love the internet. When I was growing up I read obsessively and had a little bit of a fit if anyone interrupted me. I never went anywhere without two or three books and I grew distressed when I didn't have something to read. Initially it was just books but I was eventually able to incorporate movies and TV as well. Around these stories I've constructed universes of alternate timelines and continuations in my head. Sometimes I feel ancient because of how long I've lived in my head. The characters I've built these worlds around seem like dear friends to me and looking back on my life I have clearer memories of the books I'v read than almost any real event. It's so nice that other people have had somewhat similar experiences!



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15 Nov 2017, 5:19 pm

Do any of you also become so involved in this daydreams that you make the gestures and facial expressions to go with them, as if you're having the conversation? My dad and I both do this.



SaveFerris
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15 Nov 2017, 5:46 pm

HighLlama wrote:
Do any of you also become so involved in this daydreams that you make the gestures and facial expressions to go with them, as if you're having the conversation? My dad and I both do this.


Yup! And sometimes I speak the conversation ( my part ) out loud or part of it especially if it's conflict related. It something I only do it alone but occasionally a random word slips out - luckily no one has noticed.


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Trogluddite
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15 Nov 2017, 6:46 pm

I've kind of got used to embarrassing myself by "acting out" the daydream while I'm out walking. It sometimes takes a few funny looks from people before I realise that I'm muttering to myself and I usually have no idea how long I've been doing it.


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Khiori
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15 Nov 2017, 6:57 pm

HighLlama wrote:
Do any of you also become so involved in this daydreams that you make the gestures and facial expressions to go with them, as if you're having the conversation? My dad and I both do this.



Not me, I tend to have a really blank face and just rock quietly to myself. I'm not sure which of those people would find most unnerving.



emmasma
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16 Nov 2017, 9:53 am

SaveFerris wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Do any of you also become so involved in this daydreams that you make the gestures and facial expressions to go with them, as if you're having the conversation? My dad and I both do this.


Yup! And sometimes I speak the conversation ( my part ) out loud or part of it especially if it's conflict related. It something I only do it alone but occasionally a random word slips out - luckily no one has noticed.


This is just like me. I worry that I do this sometimes when people are around. I always catch myself making weird smirky faces at work and I know people must notice :oops:



SaveFerris
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16 Nov 2017, 11:27 am

emmasma wrote:
SaveFerris wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
Do any of you also become so involved in this daydreams that you make the gestures and facial expressions to go with them, as if you're having the conversation? My dad and I both do this.


Yup! And sometimes I speak the conversation ( my part ) out loud or part of it especially if it's conflict related. It something I only do it alone but occasionally a random word slips out - luckily no one has noticed.


This is just like me. I worry that I do this sometimes when people are around. I always catch myself making weird smirky faces at work and I know people must notice :oops:


I'm so anxious that everyone is going to think I'm a lunatic that it's like a survival skill to keep it hidden. When I am on top of my anxiety & depression ( not very often ) I am less self conscious about my behaviour.


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MagicKnight
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16 Nov 2017, 11:38 am

Daniel89 wrote:
Does anyone else daydream to the point that they actually spend the majority of their time daydreaming? I have had this since I was a child it started with me just thinking how I would survive a zombie apocalypse and get so absorbed into these little worlds.


I daydream all the time. My mind simply wanders even when I'm doing anything else. Sometimes I focus on a particular subject and keep thinking about it all day long, I get distracted from everything else and just keep ruminating on it. So, in short my answer would be yes. Anyway that doesn't mean that all the people deemed normal don't do it as well.



SaveFerris
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16 Nov 2017, 12:57 pm

I struggle trying to count more than 10 items without getting sidetracked with daydreaming and have to start again :roll:


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fruitloop42
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16 Nov 2017, 1:06 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
I'd class the "scripting the future" type day-dreaming as maladaptive for me. It can consume huge amounts of my time, and sometimes leads to physical/mental exhaustion, either from pacing (usually on tiptoe), 'stressed out' posture, or interfering with my sleep. I know well enough after all these years, that two seconds into the real experience, not one of my "scripts" are still going to be on-course, and I don't believe that they have any power to influence reality. When I finally snap out of it, I want to curse myself for being so irrational. So, it is something I wish I had better control over, so that the time and energy could be better spent.


Yes this is true, the daydreams never really reflect the reality. Especially when social interactions are involved. I feel like for me the kind of "scripting the future" dreams help reduce anxiety because they convince me in advance that I can cope with whatever the situation is. But they do take a huge amount of time and they don't actually help to make the future go more smoothly or change its course in any way. I have thought before when I've really wanted something to happen I should stop daydreaming about it because then it never will!