Men should advertise lack of social skill in dating profiles

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I have figured out over the years that I do not do well in relationships with NTs in general. I end up feeling inferior and guilty for not being a good social partner to do things with and get body conscious around people who intimidate me. I end up resenting them because they drown me out and make me feel inferior whereas I am an Aspie so I think I am better than everyone . My last relationship was with another Aspie person who was smart and weird like me and we both admired these qualities in each other. It is this type of person I have in mind while I think about how I might once again try to find someone to occasionally eat, share sarcasm, and have sex with.

I have been checking out some dating sites lately and I'm really discouraged. It seems like men don't like to put "weaknesses" into their profiles. They all are either really macho or really "fun" and I am just not into outgoing people like this to be around.

I just wanted to point out that some women are looking for the socially awkward men who don't like theater, dancing, horseback riding and eating out. They are the very same women that these men should be seeking out so that they don't end up in an unsuccessful date with a bouncy NT who gets creeped out by people who don't make good eye contact. I know Online dating is super competitive for men, but I really think that showing these types of traits openly could be a benefit in finding a date because none of the ones I see do at all.

Just a thought.

Most women wee see weakness as a turn off. Posting it might make a slim few women like you find us but it’ll definitely make the majority of women run away. Weakness means I confidence. Confident men aren’t suppose to theink they have weaknesses and aren’t suppose to talk about it if they do.

Such high competition already on dating sites it’s dating site suicide to turn off he majority of women.

Likewise most of us won’t list that we are aspie. Some women do though. Guess it’s not as much as a red flag to men as it is to women.

You’re probably better off looking for signs if shy men. We tend to have indoor hobbies. Like video games.

For me dating profile is our resume. Women will quickly glance it over and move on or show interest. So like resume you either never show weakness or you pretray it as a advantage.

Are you near oregon? Probably not but worth asking . I’m single aspie lol

Advertising your weaknesses as a man is rarely a good idea.

It might be worth trying, right? I mean think about it; if you've been trying online dating for years and have gotten only a date or two that haven't led to anything then what would you lose? Isn't the worst case scenario just that you keep not getting dates, just like you haven't gotten them before?

But it might be better not to change one's profile if it already gets the results you want; while the change might bring even better chances it could also ruin the chances one already had... but if someone just can't get a date no matter what kind of profiles they've created over the years then I'd say this is worth a try just like any other thing.

I tried that when I used online dating but I never got a single date & I was extremely lucky to get any messages & I never got more than a couple from someone. I have other disabilities that I mentioned thou in my profiles that probably scared all women off. The 3 girlfriends I had I met on forums & I posted ALOT about my issues.

Coca Cola doesn't advertise the fact that the product is fattening, because it would turn people off buying it. Sure, some would still buy it anyway, and maybe a few would even drink it with the intention of getting fat, but the amount of interest the product will lose from people who don't want to get fat will far outweigh the interest garnered by people who want to get fat.

Similarly, you want to put your best foot forward on dating profiles so people don't lose interest just by reading. Obviously being truthful is important, but negative qualities on dating profiles tend to turn people off. I think it's better to get to know someone in person and allow them to discover for themselves what you're really like, and from there they can weigh up whether your positives are worth putting up with your negatives. Words on a page describing what are mostly considered negative traits can make people unnecessarily prejudge you and even sometimes become self-fulfilling prophecies resulting in people being written off where they otherwise might have people been able to form something.

While you might prefer a socially awkward guy, social awkwardness is generally a turn-off, and thus will turn more people off than it will on, whereas if somebody doesn't include the fact that they're socially awkward in their profile, I doubt it would turn you off them.

I think it would be more appropriate to indicate you personality type rather than your weaknesses like Boo suggested.
The thing about dating and relationships are you get to know a person warts and all along the way, then decide if you're in it for the long run. That's just how it is.

Don't forget many people both genders don't know their own weaknesses or subconsciously deny them. How can they talk about their problems they aren't immediately aware of? I'm also of the mind that dating sites are a place you sell yourself. Whatever your poison, it's a cattle market and the buyer wants to find the Kobe Beef amongst the BSE fodder. No one wants to be the mad cow. After all, many are. This is why they are there. This is their chance not to be it.

emma, do you advertise your weaknesses? If not, why not?

Honesty doesn't necessarily means "confidence" - for example there are so many low-esteemed guys here who are honest about their s**t.

The way how many of the women define confidence is weird, honestly.