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ailuvkatz
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01 Nov 2017, 12:11 pm

People bully me every single day. They call me a ret*d and treat me like one too. They say (ALWAYS) that I LOOK like a ret*d. They spread rumors about me being in special education, but they don’t really know if I am or not. They just assume. They, of course, call me other things too. But their favorite word to describe me is being a ret*d girl that has Down syndrome.

I remember in the seventh grade a girl named Marika (she changed her name now for some reason). We talked a little, but not like buddies or anything. She has walked out of class once (could have been more times). I’m not sure why though. I decided that I wanted to do that too, so I did. I’m in the tenth grade now.

One of my other teachers stopped me from leaving school property and going home. He just called my name, asked what happened, and let me sit in his class. Then the administrator talked to me about and sent me home. He said he was going to make them stay home for a few days (suspension?) and not to worry or try not to get mad as much next time. He called my parents, but they were proud I guess...

I’m planning to walk out of class again. This time, though, I’m not listening to anyone. I’m not going to stay in school and I’m going straight home. If they grab me, then I’m hitting, punching, and hurting anyone who tries and I will hurt myself. I will yell and scream that I’m tired of all of this until they do something about it.

My dad has approved of me walking out of class, so I won’t get in trouble. (He hasn’t approved of me having a meltdown, and I’m not telling about that idea at all.)

It won’t matter if I change my schedule (classes) or not. People all throughout the school hate me and criticize me all day long no matter what, so it just doesn’t matter.

You can say I’m not autistic, but I have Asperger Syndrome. So... yeah.

You can think of me as a brat or that I’m making this up just to attention seek, but I’m seriously going to do this. You can say I’m over exaggerating, but all of this true. Leave what you think about this. It can be anything.



hobojungle
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01 Nov 2017, 12:28 pm

You are being abused. I think bullies are victims of abuse in their family of origin. Bullies feel relief from their own victimhood by perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Passing it on, so to speak.

I read somewhere (maybe Wikipedia?): “The strongest predictor of bullying is the perception of whether the most influential human would approve of the bullying behavior.”

Also “It is the bully’s ability to create the illusion that they have the support of the majority present that instills the fear of ‘speaking out’ in protest. Unless the ‘bully mentality’ is effectively challenged, it becomes norm.”

I’m sorry you are experiencing this situation. You are surrounded by as*holes.



Masakados
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01 Nov 2017, 1:50 pm

Why would anyone think you're just seeking attention? You do know what this forum is don't you?
Just ignoring them and walking away is the best option I think. How old are you? Most kids won't do anything if you just walk away.



ailuvkatz
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02 Nov 2017, 8:57 am

Masakados wrote:
Why would anyone think you're just seeking attention? You do know what this forum is don't you?
Just ignoring them and walking away is the best option I think. How old are you? Most kids won't do anything if you just walk away.



I’m 15 years young. I have a so-called sister that thinks I’m seeking attention, so now I believe I’m seeking attention no matter what. So I’m not going to try to get help anymore.



Masakados
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02 Nov 2017, 10:15 am

"So called sister"? So she's not your real sister?
Have you talked to your school counselor? Please don't try to fight anyone. It will only cause you more trouble.
If there's anything else you want to talk about here is probably the place to do it. No one will try to judge you, I promise.
And we definitely don't think you're just seeking attention. It's probably something we've all heard and I know it gets incredibly irritating.



hobojungle
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02 Nov 2017, 10:36 am

ailuvkatz wrote:
Masakados wrote:
Why would anyone think you're just seeking attention? You do know what this forum is don't you?
Just ignoring them and walking away is the best option I think. How old are you? Most kids won't do anything if you just walk away.



I’m 15 years young. I have a so-called sister that thinks I’m seeking attention, so now I believe I’m seeking attention no matter what. So I’m not going to try to get help anymore.


Where are you in the birth order? (Firstborn, lastborn, middle?)



ailuvkatz
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02 Nov 2017, 6:39 pm

hobojungle wrote:
ailuvkatz wrote:
Masakados wrote:
Why would anyone think you're just seeking attention? You do know what this forum is don't you?
Just ignoring them and walking away is the best option I think. How old are you? Most kids won't do anything if you just walk away.



I’m 15 years young. I have a so-called sister that thinks I’m seeking attention, so now I believe I’m seeking attention no matter what. So I’m not going to try to get help anymore.


Where are you in the birth order? (Firstborn, lastborn, middle?)

I’m the last born.



hobojungle
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02 Nov 2017, 7:01 pm

Me too, youngest of three. I also struggle in my relationship with my older sister. Don’t let her dictate who you are. She is making her problems your problems. My guess is she was made to feel shame for “attention-seeking” & transfers that shame to you when she interprets your behavior as being “attention-seeking”. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being “attention-seeking”. Sometimes humans need attention. :heart:



Masakados
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02 Nov 2017, 7:45 pm

ailuvkatz wrote:
hobojungle wrote:
ailuvkatz wrote:
Masakados wrote:
Why would anyone think you're just seeking attention? You do know what this forum is don't you?
Just ignoring them and walking away is the best option I think. How old are you? Most kids won't do anything if you just walk away.



I’m 15 years young. I have a so-called sister that thinks I’m seeking attention, so now I believe I’m seeking attention no matter what. So I’m not going to try to get help anymore.


Where are you in the birth order? (Firstborn, lastborn, middle?)

I’m the last born.

I'm the last born as well. Try not to let her discourage you. She probably just doesn't understand. Did you have any problems at school? You didn't fight anyone did you?



loobyloukitty
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04 Nov 2017, 3:35 pm

High school is extremely difficult. I was severely bullied in mainstream school for six months. I tried so hard to fit in. I made lies up to gain attention, thinking people would like me. It had the total opposite effect, they all just laughed at me and but I didn't see it at the time. I also had some issues which I can't go into but the friend I thought she was threatened to break my arm if I didn't tell her why I went to the staff's office. I stupidly told her and she spread it around the school. By the end of the day nearly 2000 people knew. I was also physically attacked, kicked in the stomach. It was a huge traumatic experience for me. They all want to fit in too so this is why they bully people. Anything that is remotely different about someone makes someone a potential target. It's soo hard because they probably haven't given any of it a second thought since but I remember the things that were said and the pain endured. Just try to realise that high school and teenage years is all a learning curve where we are all maturing at different rates and although we may struggle with our emotions, it doesn't necessary make you a bad or immature person.


Keep your chin up and your head high. You've got this. :)



bethannny
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13 Jan 2018, 10:55 pm

Yep. Unfortunately this is just how people can be. It doesn't end as you get older like everyone likes to ''pretend'' it can continue on and on for years and years until people stop viewing you as a soft target. If I were you, I would just accept it. Accept that this is a part of human nature (the dark side of it) and move on with your life. Indulge in your interests and find something you love to do.



JoeyFlash
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17 Jan 2018, 8:45 pm

I've been your shoes, but for me it was in middle school instead of high school. I really don't agree with your plan on hitting and screaming for the next time this happens. I've managed to get through the verbal bullying by just shrugging it off and not giving a damn about what they say, and I hope you can shrug it off too. If you do the hitting and screaming thing, it's just gonna confirm their BS idea that you are "weird" and that certain other term. Maybe you can find some other kids at your school that may have similar interests as you so maybe you can have a few friends you can feel yourself around. For me, my friends were all gamers or liked the same tv shows and movies among other things.

I sincerely hope you take my advice on just shrugging it off.


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