But it’s all about personality >.>

Page 29 of 34 [ 538 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 ... 34  Next

sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

18 Nov 2017, 4:12 am

Having kids isn’t the necessary end goal for a relationship. My well off uncle and aunt never had kids, she didn’t want kids.

Women tell me all the time I’d make a perfect boyfriend. It seems that’s all I’m good at, I’m a failure at everything else. But I don’t even get to be a boyfriend.



Dragnet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2017
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,657

18 Nov 2017, 5:04 am

sly279 wrote:
I’ll die and it’ll all be thrown away despite its value.


Your value is judged by those who don't have much value in the first place.

The world is small, nasty and complicated and everyone dies alone and its all thrown away anyway.



fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

18 Nov 2017, 6:13 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Trogluddite wrote:
Quote:
Don't have a freezer? Is that common for low/average income people where you're from?

I've never had more than an ice-box at the top of a worktop-height fridge, which seems common enough among friends of mine here in Yorkshire. A lot of rented accommodation for single people here is very small Victorian back-to-back houses - I've simply not had space for a freezer in a lot of the kitchens I've had! I think having a freezer is also a much more recent thing here than in the US; when I was a child I remember having a freezer being a very unusual thing, even for relatively middle-class families - I would have seen them most on US TV shows. I think the same is true of most kitchen appliances, we're "late developers" over here when it comes to having your own washing machine or dishwasher too.

Wow really? I grew up in a very poor neighborhood. I can't call them working class because the majority were unemployed. Yet all of them had a fridge, a freezer and a washing machine. Dishwasher was more of a middle-class thing. I didn't get a dishwasher until a couple of years ago.

I'm also a bit surprised by America and their big things. Big appliances, big cars. In American movies some of the allegedly middle class houses are like small mansions. In American sitcoms the interiors look cavernous but I've been told American living rooms aren't actually that big - they need to make the set extra large to accommodate the sightlines for a 3 camera setup and a live studio audience.

I'm surprised that the UK are "late developers". You had the industrial revolution! You were the first country with steam engines and factories and railways. The UK used to have the most advanced technology in the world. That should put you ahead of the world. Has the rest of the world caught up and even surpassed you? What happened to slow the pace of the UK's technological development?


He meant by 'late developers' that we were a bit slow to get into the post war kitchen appliances, comparable to the US, not in everything. This is partly because we ended the war bankrupt, with several years of rationing still to come and the way out was to export anything we made of any quality, so basically consumerism stalled here for twenty years 1939-1959.

And the houses are smaller, I mean a lot smaller. I don't have a microwave, a dishwasher, a freezer, or a tumble dryer but the only one I want is a freezer so I am trying to work out were I could fit it in. I only found room for the toaster by not replacing the kettle (saucepan on the hob). Mine is a one bedroom house but a lot of three bedroom houses have kitchens no bigger. A fridge, a cooker and a washing machine get house room first usually, then the freezer. :D



fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

18 Nov 2017, 6:21 am

Dragnet wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I’ll die and it’ll all be thrown away despite its value.


Your value is judged by those who don't have much value in the first place.

The world is small, nasty and complicated and everyone dies alone and its all thrown away anyway.


You sound like my Dad, he keeps saying to put him out in the recycle bin when he dies, and not waste money on a coffin :D

I think the real thing is we all live alone, everyone, because people don't really know each other because everyone chooses what of themselves to show and sees what they want to see in others. I would still like to be with someone but I think it's unrealistic to expect them to give me what I need most, complete acceptance, because they aren't going to know every thought that goes through my mind, so if I want that then, I have to give it to myself.

Everyone is essentially alone, therefor we must accept ourselves.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Nov 2017, 7:22 am

Just because we don't let our partners know our every thought--doesn't mean that we are essentially "alone" when we have partners.

I'm not having a really happy time with my partner nowadays; that does not mean that I am "essentially alone"--even though it does often feel that way.

Perfection is only for Pollyannas and Utopias.

There are times when the obligations your partnership forces on you are quite onerous, indeed. Often, I yearn for freedom.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 18 Nov 2017, 7:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,605
Location: the island of defective toy santas

18 Nov 2017, 7:25 am

if I had somebody who wanted only me for a mate, i'd deal with it.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

19 Nov 2017, 3:25 pm

Dragnet wrote:
If you do manage to reproduce, you probably just damning your children to the same faith of lonely isolation. I don't want to bring a family into the mess I have made, I would sooner kill myself with not a single hesitation, which is an impulse I am fighting quite a bit lately. Do you want to bring fellow humans into your horrible life?

I would rather my worse delusions become reality, for the greater good.

Yes, the same applies to me. I'd rather not have kids and let them live through the same pain I've lived through. Unfortunately my girlfriend wants kids. Some of my exgirlfriends wanted kids.

Many women have this strange maternal instinct, they want to have kids no matter the cost, even if it costs a lot of money, even if pregnancy puts additional wear on their bodies.

I think we've all lived through a lot of pain in our lives. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. So why should I give it to my kids by cursing them with existence?


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Fireblossom
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jan 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,565

20 Nov 2017, 7:35 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Yes, the same applies to me. I'd rather not have kids and let them live through the same pain I've lived through. Unfortunately my girlfriend wants kids. Some of my exgirlfriends wanted kids.

Many women have this strange maternal instinct, they want to have kids no matter the cost, even if it costs a lot of money, even if pregnancy puts additional wear on their bodies.

I think we've all lived through a lot of pain in our lives. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. So why should I give it to my kids by cursing them with existence?


Excellent question. I know I want kids some day in the future, have known that for years, but I have no logical explanation why. I know their life could become as miserable as mine has been or way worse, I know raising kids takes money even if I'd only get them what is absolutely necessary, I know that I won't have so much free time or money to use on things I like if I ever get kids... so why do I want them? I honestly have no idea... I know it's not because of pressure from the society around me, but I don't know what the reason is.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

29 Nov 2017, 9:46 pm

There's nothing wrong with girls setting baseline criteria for dating them being a job & income, drivers licence, car etc. These are not "celebrity crush dream date," sort of criteria. They're very basic. It seems completely reasonable to me that if they don't see themselves being with someone who doesn't at least function at this level in society that they're up front about it in their online profiles.


I know hetero women who've gone on dates with guys who didn't meet their very similar criteria and then decided not to continue dating these guys for those reasons. Everyone is seeking someone about equal or better, in general anyways. The women I know are completely justified not wanting to date someone living on a pittance of a disability pension who is clinically depressed while they're earning $80-90K/year working hard. Relationships require a bit of financial compatibility. These women couldn't see themselves being with someone who couldn't "keep up with them," so to speak, in the lifestyle they've become accustomed to and I don't blame them one bit for knowing that's not the sort of partner they want and thus not settling for one.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,088

29 Nov 2017, 9:52 pm

I was just on POF and an attractive 45 yr old women said she got 40 messages in 5 minutes and 334 in an hour!
So why shouldn't she be picky?



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

29 Nov 2017, 9:58 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
The women I know are completely justified not wanting to date someone living on a pittance of a disability pension who is clinically depressed while they're earning $80-90K/year working hard.

That's discrimination!! /sarcasm


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

29 Nov 2017, 10:02 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The women I know are completely justified not wanting to date someone living on a pittance of a disability pension who is clinically depressed while they're earning $80-90K/year working hard.

That's discrimination!! /sarcasm


:lol: Exactly!

Literally, though.. e v e r y o n e discriminates against others when it comes to selecting a date/hookup/significant other based on how well they do or don't fit their personal criteria.

I'm not really sure how others seem to not comprehend this sometimes.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

29 Nov 2017, 10:50 pm

Well hope they enjoy being single for ever as there isn’t enough quality guys for every woman.

Me I’ll just have to kill myself. I never should been born. Even still I almost died while born. Doctors should left it alone. Non of their business messing with God’s plans.



ZachGoodwin
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,065

29 Nov 2017, 10:51 pm

Why are you so hopeless Sly?



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,490
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

29 Nov 2017, 11:07 pm

sly279 wrote:
Well hope they enjoy being single for ever as there isn’t enough quality guys for every woman.

Me I’ll just have to kill myself. I never should been born. Even still I almost died while born. Doctors should left it alone. Non of their business messing with God’s plans.


Who's to say their interjection wasn't a part of God's plans but God?

Maybe you're here for a reason and you just haven't learned what it is yet and it'll be revealed to you at some point in the future.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

29 Nov 2017, 11:12 pm

sly279 wrote:
Well hope they enjoy being single for ever as there isn’t enough quality guys for every woman.

They'll probably find a boyfriend anyway. If they're getting paid 80 or 90K per year the men at their work probably get paid a similar amount and in many workplaces the men outnumber the women so they'll have plenty of men to choose from.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short