Forced Eye Contact?!

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When I was young, I had to undergo the extremely painful thing known as ABA. One of the many things they forced upon me was eye contact. (I was forced to make eye contact, just to clarify) Now I establish “perfect” eye contact mindlessly, but it hurts a little when I make eye contact with people with light-colored eyes (e.g. blue or gray). Has anyone else ever experienced this before?

I don't know if hurt is the right word but I'm not even able to make eye contact with my family. I usually just glance around the entire room while someone is talking.

I struggle with eye contact but find it even more uncomfortable when I am anxious or upset. People ask me to look at them specifically.

Although I feel obligated to make eye contact, my eyes will occasionally dart around the room due to how uncomfortable it can be at times. I don’t see people do this often, but this helps me think and concentrate better than staring.

Do you have other light sensitivities?

Yes. I can relate to this. The more light colored eyes the person have, the more I feel about it.

I can never do it. Only time I feel need to force it is on my brother. For other autistics it feels natural but not complete because both of us are equally uncomfortable with full eye contact all the time.

I avoid eye contact because I find it hard to concentrate on what people are saying if I have to look at them at the same time. Although my Husband recently pointed out to me that he knows when I am really, really angry with someone because I make eye contact with them. I had never noticed doing that but I think if I'm really, really angry I'm probably not too concerned about listening to them

I've always been told by teahers "look at me". In an instructive way not harshly. It's basic teaching autistic kids to at least look at the person talking to you. But it's never been forced, just encouraged.

My cousin forces eye contact with me, but that's always been one of his push the envelope games he lovingly plays.

Ifg I force eye contact I can't hear what you are saying.

I look at peoples mouth, then they hopefully will not notice the difference.

I look at people's mouths a lot, too. And also feel like I'm lip reading, or like I miss a lot of what's said if I don't see their lips moving. I also have some volume control problems, and sometimes speak really loud without realizing it. The combination makes people think I have hearing problems sometimes.
I think it freaks people out when I stare at their mouths so much, like they're worried they've got something in their teeth or something.

Yes, it often hurts to look directly at someone's eyes, although I can do it intermittently to the degree that most people don't seem to notice that I avoid it. The psychologist who evaluated me for ASD noted it though.

It also often hurts to speak.

I also look at people's mouths when they're speaking, and find it pretty difficult to look away, but I've learned that when you do that in person it often makes the other person uncomfortable, or even angry and agressive, so I'm more likely to do that when the speaking person is recorded (like on television), or if they don't know that I'm doing it (like if they're on stage, or speaking while looking at someone else in the room). While looking at a speaking person's mouth does make it easier for me to focus on, and comprehend what they're saying, I think the difficulty in looking away is associated with a feeling of dread. It feels unsafe to look away.

If I'm having a one on one conversation I try to make eye contact occasionally, but a lot of times, that's for the benefit of the other person, to reassure them, since it seems important to them. It doesn't benefit me generally, and makes me anxious, and even nauseous. For the most part, I look around the room, and find that I can make less eye contact with people if I acknowledge that I hear them by nodding my head, or mumbling, "mmhmm" frequently.

Personally, I think that making eye contact and showing the teeth are threatening behaviors among primates, and it seems strange, and maybe even unhealthy, for professionals working in the field of behavioral health to force humans who feel uncomfortable with those behaviors to perform them.

But I'm not a doctor.