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Mr SmokeTooMuch
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22 Nov 2017, 1:10 pm

I taught myself eye-contact in the childhood , after observing others making it all the time . Still feels unnatural most of the time .


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Lost_dragon
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22 Nov 2017, 7:03 pm

EzraS wrote:
I've always been told by teahers "look at me". In an instructive way not harshly. It's basic teaching autistic kids to at least look at the person talking to you. But it's never been forced, just encouraged.

My cousin forces eye contact with me, but that's always been one of his push the envelope games he lovingly plays.


Ugh, I used to have an art teacher in secondary that always demanded eye contact when he was talking to me. Wouldn't answer any of my questions, unless I maintained eye contact for an amount of time he found acceptable. I hated it so much. Personally, it didn't matter to me what colour someone's eyes were (unlike the OP), my art teacher had fairly dark brown eyes, and I still struggled to make eye contact with him because it felt unnatural.

My physics teacher had really bright blue eyes, and I found it hard to look at her because I found her intimidating. That was until I proved her wrong in front of the class and she backed down, after that it was much easier for me to look at her (eye contact included).

I'm not sure why I found it hard to look at my art teacher, he just gave me unsettling vibes I guess. Over time I learned to make eye contact with him though, and after that he finally left me alone and stopped bothering me about it.

There were also a teaching assistant I couldn't seem to make eye contact with, she had the most scratchy sounding voice- it was horrible.

However, these days I don't have any eye contact issues at all. :)


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caffeinekid
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22 Nov 2017, 7:42 pm

I'm another mouth-starer. When I have to look at people, the mouth is close enough to the eyes that mostly people don't notice, and you can also pick up a bit of their mood sometimes - it's easier to see their expression if you look at their mouth.


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StampySquiddyFan
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22 Nov 2017, 9:22 pm

I also have problems making eye contact with certain people, like Lost_dragon mentioned (even if I am comfortable with them). I normally just stare at the ground. I wonder why that is. I don’t know what color their eyes are because I don’t look at them, but why only certain people? Does anyone have any ideas?


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elbowgrease
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22 Nov 2017, 9:36 pm

It might be similar to the way I feel about selective mutism. Sometimes, even if I'm comfortable with them, I just can't talk.
Which doesn't really explain anything about why.
Do you deal with selective mutism, too? Do you notice if it happens with the same people?



StampySquiddyFan
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22 Nov 2017, 9:40 pm

elbowgrease wrote:
It might be similar to the way I feel about selective mutism. Sometimes, even if I'm comfortable with them, I just can't talk.
Which doesn't really explain anything about why.
Do you deal with selective mutism, too? Do you notice if it happens with the same people?


I deal with selective mutism when I get overloaded. I also have a hard time talking when stressed, and like you, I’ll stop talking even if I am comfortable with the person. I have never noticed it happen more around specific people, but that is interesting. I’m going to try and pay more attention when I am unable to speak from now on, and see if it has to do with specific people. In my case though, I think it has more to do with overload, as that seems to be the common denominator in all the situations I have been in.


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xatrix26
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23 Nov 2017, 6:39 am

I've always had a great deal of difficulty with eye contact regardless of eye color. But I found that I'm more uneasy with people who have brightly colored eyes for some reason as if they're actually piercing into my soul or something.

I had many teachers in school and even my parents who tried to force me to look at them when they spoke to me and this forced eye contact really traumatized me quite a bit as a child.

My natural and most comfortable state is not to make eye contact whatsoever with anyone. And at best only quick glances.


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elenorh
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23 Nov 2017, 8:29 am

Enceladus wrote:
I look at peoples mouth, then they hopefully will not notice the difference.


Yup, I do that as well. There's just something so uncomfortable about looking someone in the eyes.


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