Lies about autism

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Lies about Autism

Fact: Repeated studies show that older parental age is linked to higher rate of autism in children.

Conclusion: people should have babies early.

True or False?

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The correlation between autism and parental age is indisputable. However, the causality is by no means clear. Based on our own pre-conceived notion, we tend to interpret the implication only in one direction.

If we provide the above correlation to most people, they would immediately conclude that having babies at younger age will reduce the chance of having autistic children.

In reality, the explanation often is that carriers of autistic genes tend to marry late and have children late.

That is certainly true for people that pursue advanced degrees. Several studies have shown that autism prevalence rate is higher in areas where parents have higher levels of education.

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Let us compile a list of lies about autism:

(1) Autistic children must talk so that they can learn
(2) Autistic children must socialize for them be successful in life
(3) ADHD (hyperactivity) means learning disability
(4) Behavioral problems hinder development
(5) Stimming behavior must be removed so that children have a chance to learn

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The truth is, our society fails miserably at raising autistic children. More often than not, we start to teach autistic children to socialize when they are 2 or 3 years old. By the time these children are 20 or 30 years old, we are still trying to teach them to socialize.

This begs the question: are we nuts?

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It's time to take a hard look at whether we have been reversing the causality of things, all along. And if so, what's the right way of raising autistic children.


(1) Autistic children must talk so that they can learn

Patently false. Our society raises deaf and mute children successfully every day. Talking is absolutely unnecessary for the intellectual development of children.

Instead of striving to teach our autistic children to talk, we should strive to develop them from the visual-manual angle instead.

The causality actually goes in the other direction: once autistic children learn to communicate, visual-manually, talking will come, for free. No special effort needed. Autistic children simply develop differently from neurotypical children. Autistic children have a different path of development.

(2) Autistic children must socialize for them be successful in life

Take the case of Grigori Perelman, who solved the century-old Poincaré conjecture, and was offered both the Fields Medal (equivalent of Nobel Prize in mathematics) and the Millennium Prize (1 million US dollar). Was he not successful? (He declined both prizes, by the way. He preferred to stay poor but aloft.)

Or the case of Bob Dylan, who was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature. Was he not successful?

These two socially awkward people achieved honors that others can only dream of.

Social skills are not necessary for a person to be successful in life.

Susan Boyle found her boyfriend at age 53. She wouldn't have had that opportunity if she wasn't a smashing success at the Britain's Got Talent show.

Wouldn't it be that the other direction is actually the case? Success in life will make autistic children social.

We should strive to develop the intellectual skills in autistic children first. Because once they are intellectually developed, social skills will come, for free. Lack of intellectual skills early in life is what makes autistic children non-social. We develop their intellectual skills early on, their socialization problems disappear.

(3) ADHD (hyperactivity) means learning disability

Nope. The causality goes in the other direction: children are hyperactive because they have not yet been taught properly. Once they are developed, hyperactivity disappears.

How do you teach hyperactive children?

For neurotypical children, you use the push method: you push knowledge to the children. For autistic children, you use the pull method: your starting point is the children's interests. Once children find something of their interest, all their hyperactivity and lack of attention disappear. This why in all discussions of ADHD, you will see psychologists disclaiming by saying that ADHD children do have some focused interests. But in order to save their own face, psychologists will resort to a term such as "hyperfocus" to describe these children's interests. Come on, give me a break. What you are saying is that these children indeed can stop being hyperactive and can pay attention, right?

We think that hyperactive children cannot learn, because we have only used the push method. It's not that these children cannot learn. It is that we cannot teach. If we switch to the pull method, ADHD children can and will learn.

My son likes elevators. I still take my son to elevator rides in weekends now and then. He learned all the skills he'll ever need to learn in life, from elevators. That includes drawing, writing, typing, math, working with building-block toys, working with electronic circuits, computer programming, talking, getting rid of his sensory and rigidity issues, making conversation with strangers, and even writing some Chinese characters. Tell me, which school district has an elevator education curriculum?

(4) Behavioral problems hinder development

It's the other way around. Once children learn to communicate and become developed, behavioral issues disappear. This is best illustrated in the case of Helen Keller, who was deaf, mute, and blind. Before she learned to communicate by touch, she had severe tantrum issues. After she learned to communicate, she became a smart lady, earning the respect from people all over the world, for generation after generation.

Behavioral problems are not hindrance to development. It's the other way around. Children have behavioral problems because they have not been properly communicated to. You solve the communication problem, you solve the behavioral problems.


(5) Stimming behavior must be removed so that children have a chance to learn

All on the contrary, stimming time is learning time. Stimming time is the moment of maximum attention in these children. If you don't teach your children at their stimming time, when are you going teach them? Stimming time is the moment to teach your children additional skills.

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If you are still trying to teach your children to be social, please stop doing that. You are harming your children. You are ruining your children's life. Don't you see that millions of parents have failed and have a miserable life for themselves and for their children? Why do you choose to repeat their mistake? Are you nuts? You are hurting your children's self-esteem, because what you are trying to tell them is that you think your children are defective. Nothing is more discouraging than parents choosing to stand on the opposite side of their children.

You are much better off if you instead choose to expand your children's intellectual skills... not only in depth but also in breadth.

Autistic children are perfectly fine the way they are. They don't need any special treatments for them to be verbal or social.

Lack of verbal or social skills, or the existence of behavioral problems, reflect a much deeper issue: underdevelopment. Meaning you have been letting your children's brain go idle, you have been sending incomprehensible noises to them all day long. Think of the case of Helen Keller. You haven't properly developed their intellectual skills. What would you achieve by sending Helen Keller to play dates after play dates with normal children?

Let go your assumption that autistic children are lesser than neurotypical children. Cease to chase after neurotypical ideals. Stop thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side. Especially in this age of Technology Singularity, autistic children have all the extra advantages that neurotypical children can only dream of.

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Children that grow up in the toxic environment where everyone is telling them they are defective, invariable turn into adults with damaged self-esteem. These adults tend to look down upon themselves. They think it's their own fault that they cannot make friends, have no relationship, or that they have no marketable skills, that they can only hold low-level jobs, if any. They become self-hating. They blame themselves. And their lives end up in tatters.

Am I not describing correctly the life of the majority of autistic adults?

They've been brainwashed their entire life by lies from other people.

Why do we choose to perpetuate all these lies, and keep ruining the lives of millions of children?

Are we nuts?

As I see it, is the difference between a chef who can create new recipes that are better than the old and a cook, who needs an exact set of instructions to follow. Only a few of us are lucky enough to have real teachers who can work with us to optimize our potential.

I know an investment banker who would get the best and brightest to tutor his already smart children.

The problem is that "failures" are taken for mesurements, forcibly that steers towards more "defining failure" to define the definition.
And the extra hussle of society, or the female educative totalitarian regime, being very unsupportive of masculine behaviour, with a high demand of behaviour control at the detriment of overall devellopement.

The proponents of 'sociallity' don't remember that delay is the strongest force in moving together?
Or to put it like this, the group is always waiting bc there's always someone not ready.