How do you care more about people?

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So I realized that even though I care about the idea of people and their situations, I don't really care about them directly. For example, if my best friend was short on cash for rent or something I would be the first person to give her whatever she needed, money, a new place to live, etc. Same thing about wanted to help people that are less fortunate, I will do everything that I can to help out and advocate for people. But, if my best friend starts telling me stories about something that may be going on in her life I just shut down and nod. I offer sympathetic words but I really don't care even though I pretend I do.

How do I care more? Is this just something that may be Aspergers related? I have a feeling that's why most people stop talking to me after a few meetings. I want to have more friends but it's so hard to care and try to remember what is happening in people's lives.

Not aspergers related.

Try to be as patient as you can for them. Do the simple things people tell you to do. You don't have to save the world. If anyone makes you uncomfortable then ignore the person.

As for your friend, you probably don't know what is best for her, and that's okay. It's better to not know and be quiet than to not know and tell something that you have never done. If anything I believe your best friend wants you to listen as much as you can to her and stay by her side, and yes you don't have to agree with everything she says, but you also don't have to disagree with everything she says.

Thank you. I think that makes sense. I'm re-reading what I wrote and I sound like such a bad person. I need to clarify.

If I see someone crying, I will also immediately start crying. If they start to tell me why they are crying, I listen but I have trouble processing it and saying the right words. I avoid asking questions because that is more information for me to process. It's overwhelming.

News stories on tv upset me and I want to help. But if those same people came up to me and told me what happened in person, I would have trouble sitting there and really comprehending their stories and saying the right words. I get uncomfortable and just nod or say short answers. I don't really have any great wisdom to give them to help. But if I can donate to charity or do a fundraiser or something tangible, that I can do with no problem.

I guess when I say I don't care it's more complicated. I'm uncomfortable so I'd rather not hear about it. Does that make sense?

Gossip on the other hand, I really could care less about, unless it affects me directly. Chit chat also makes me panic because I don't know what to say to not sound weird and awkward.

You sound like a great person not a bad person. You did a lot for people especially since you told me you helped someone out with rent which hardly anyone would have done. Don't feel ashamed about it. One of my friend's mother let a family stay over at her house, and she is a wonderful mother.

You don't have to find the answer to their problems. I don't even know the answer to your problems. Those times where you felt like you had to find the answer to people's problems were the times you probably didn't have to to begin with. I know it feels bad not knowing the answer to everything, but we're not Jesus Christ. I think some of us know the answers to some problems while others guess based on their life experiences on what they found similar.

The best wisdom you can give is the one you already know, and if that's not good enough for the person, then that's okay.

I'm sure the people you encounter appreciate what you have told them, and if they're quiet, or didn't like it, then so what, you are still a great person!