How can I tell my girlfriend she is fat?

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NamelessNinja42
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11 Nov 2017, 10:58 pm

What is a nice way to tell my girlfriend she is gaining too much weight for me to still be physically attracted to her? I am still attracted to her personality and general self, but the weight is an issue. I want her to be at her best health, today I mentioned earlier in our relationship that we should eat healthier.. she said yes but nothing has changed.. what's the nicest way to not have her angry at me?



NamelessNinja42
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11 Nov 2017, 10:59 pm

Today entered in my text is a typo.



hale_bopp
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12 Nov 2017, 12:01 am

Just be honest. I can’t give you exact wording as I don’t want to be responsible if she dumps you.

Making fake exuses like you need to get healthier isn’t dealing with the real issue.

Alternatively, you could break up with her.

If she’s happy staying overweight, there isn’t much you can do about it.



sly279
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12 Nov 2017, 12:17 am

Is she fat already? Or thin and getting chubby?



The Grand Inquisitor
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12 Nov 2017, 12:22 am

Maybe suggest engaging in some fitness activities together, and I guess just try to eat healthy when you're around her. I'd say leading by example would be more effective than just telling someone to change their ways.



DancingCorpse
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12 Nov 2017, 2:43 am

You can encourage someone to be healthier and that is always an admirable path but some people just do not have the desire to get fit and chiselled and that's okay, it's up to you to make the decision if she does not react with enthusiasm to encouragement, you might have to accept her physical form as she desires to have it or decide it's not for you, I am sure you know a fat person is also beautiful so it's not an unsalvageable situation if she does not believe it's worth tackling.
Is the weight gain accompanied by a drop in mood, confidence or concern? Has it come along gradually or alarmingly? Did she used to be in good shape, suffered an injury or undergone a significant life altering event? I would not consider it much of an issue to be alarmed at if it is not caused by underlying issues, if you are a fit person who maintains a decent work out regime and she has never been overly concerned with her physical health as much it might just be a clash of preferences and imposing your own mindset upon her may not really have a favourable effect.


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hale_bopp
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12 Nov 2017, 2:58 am

If you aren’t making an effort to eat properly and get fit, I don’t see why you expect her to. Sounds like one of those things, either do it together ir not at all. If she isn’t interested I cannot see the relationship working.



Fireblossom
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12 Nov 2017, 3:37 am

Talk to her, but do not use the word fat. Chubby and overweight are better terms and not as insulting, or at least that is what I think.

Also, is she already over weight or has she simply started to gain weight? If the former then is it just a bit chubbines or is she seriously over weight?

If she's still considered normal weight despite starting to gain some kilos, then I suggest you don't mention the issue and just get her to exercise more and eat healthier. The chances of this happening are higher if you do it together.

If she is already a bit over weight but not alarmingly so then bring it up. Tell her why it bothers you and remember to ask what she thinks about her weight gain; it's her body after all. If she sees no reason to lose weight or change something about her lifestyle, then you need to think if you care about her enough to be with her even if she becomes less physically attractive in your eyes.

If she is seriously over weight then you definitely have to bring it up and perhaps suggest to her that she should see a doctor. Being a bit chubby isn't exactly a huge risk for one's health, but serious overweight definitely is. Aside from the thing about suggesting a doctor, I'd say the same advice applies here as it does above.

But of course, like hale_bopp said, if you are as overweight as your girlfriend or even more so then it would be selfish of you to ask her to lose weight if you won't do the same... maybe this is a bit too vague advice. Could you give us a little more details, like the information if she's already over weight and how seriously and if the same applies to you, too?



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Nov 2017, 4:00 am

«This pants looks tighter on you lately »



Sabreclaw
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12 Nov 2017, 4:03 am

hale_bopp wrote:
If you aren’t making an effort to eat properly and get fit, I don’t see why you expect her to. Sounds like one of those things, either do it together ir not at all. If she isn’t interested I cannot see the relationship working.


Yeah. Make exercising and eating a together activity and she'd likely be much more on board.



The_Face_of_Boo
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12 Nov 2017, 4:08 am

Or while you are having sex with her; pretend that you are struggling to do some of the moves you used to do that require lifting her.

ie. « Urggh...ouch my back! forget it, i ll just lay you down ».

She will get the message.



hale_bopp
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12 Nov 2017, 4:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Or while you are having sex with her; pretend that you are struggling to do some of the moves you used to do that require lifting her.

ie. « Urggh...ouch my back! forget it, i ll just lay you down ».

She will get the message.


:lol: :lol: :lol:



sly279
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12 Nov 2017, 4:43 am

I’ve seen a couple that work out together at the gym, makes me envious.



caffeinekid
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12 Nov 2017, 4:53 am

Look at all the threads here of people complaining they are single, or frustrated virgins, and just be thankful you have someone.

Telling someone to lose weight never works - someone can only lose weight for themselves, not for others.


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12 Nov 2017, 10:00 am

If you agreed to eat healthier and nothing has changed, why is that? Shouldn't you have taken that as an invitation to try cooking some healthier food for the both of you?

It is generally best if you do activities that provide exercise, instead of just relying on diet to lose weight. I'd suggest looking for activities you can do together that will provide exercise. You may want to consider tourist type activities in your local area.