Just got a job that I am not qualified for

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ScarletIbis
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15 Nov 2017, 6:46 pm

I just got my first job, as a waitress. I start training tomorrow at 10:30 am. This is probably the worst job for someone like me. The Flat affect adds to the fact that I talk spastically and periodically have overloads during speech which leaves me having strange pauses in the middle of sentences. So I can’t smile unless something genuinely makes me laugh, and I talk in a monotonous, glitchy way so I am pretty sure I will be making almost nothing in tips (maybe pity tips because I may come off as retarted on the days I don’t come off as apathetic). I only got the job because my dads friend is the manager, and I failed to get a job anywhere else. I am a very friendly person, but not at face value. I just appear to be an angry/upset and rude teenager. Luckily I get paid minimum wage until I finish training, so I won’t be walking away with nothing until I have to rely on tips.

Has anyone else been in this situation, you couldn’t get a job on your own so you had to be handed one, and then it happened to be a job that you probably can’t do right.


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FerrariFan
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16 Nov 2017, 10:14 am

Being aware of your "weaknesses" can be a source of great strength as long as you work to overcome those. Just be sure to listen to your customers and take care of their needs and it will work out just fine.

Hang in there and GOOD LUCK!! !!



FF



ScarletIbis
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16 Nov 2017, 4:09 pm

Ugh 8O it was crazy! Once the lunch rush was going I was practically running trying to keep up with the waitress that I was supposed to be shadowing. She seemed to do it all; I am going to have to work pretty hard to be as productive as the others. Also, I am going to have to work REALLY hard to get over my communication issues. My supervisor talked to me before I left and I was picking up that she doesn’t think I am capable (which I’m not). She heard from my ‘mentor’ that I was very quiet and had a difficult time making eye contact and smiling. To paraphrase, she said “Are you sure you can handle this kind of work? This is a very social job, you have to really connect with the customers if you want tips. You will get only $2.13 from us so your paycheck comes from the customers. If you walk over to a table with a sour face, you’re done for. I want you to work here but I want to know if you can”. This is a loose translation of what she said. It is a very laid back atmosphere (BBQ restaurant) so she said ‘you act like you’ve known these people your whole life’. I explained (without mentioning autism) that I am trying really hard and I think I can do it. I will just have to pay more attention to make sure I make eye contact and I will think of something funny to make me smile. I didn’t talk much today because I didn’t know appropriate waitress/customer conversation. That is when she said just act like you’ve known them all your life. We will see how long I can keep this job.


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hale_bopp
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16 Nov 2017, 7:12 pm

Waitress was my first job. Awful job, but fortunately it may not be forever. It’s a start.



ScarletIbis
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16 Nov 2017, 7:42 pm

I know it’s not forever. Thank goodness for that! I just have to hold the job long enough to put the down payment on a used car (around $1000). I don’t mean that once I make the money I am just going to stop trying my best, I just mean I REALLY have to keep the job until that point. If I do get fired, I will at least have a previous employer box to fill out on future applications (definitely gonna be all retail). Even if my ‘reason for leaving this job’ response isn’t the greatest, I will still look better to an employer than ‘17 and never had a job’. At least that is what I think, I am new to this whole thing so I wouldn’t know. My logic tells me mediocre experience is better than no experience, but I don’t really know.


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16 Nov 2017, 7:52 pm

You might surprise yourself at what you can do. You don't have to honestly be happy at being a waitress. It is a tough job but if you give it a good effort it is quite likely that you will learn some job skills that will be quite useful later in life.

You don't want to be one of those loser Aspies who can only hold a job for six months because they do something really stupid and get canned. Over and over again. 8O

Who knows, you might meet someone who, in the future, may give you a real job that pays well.



ScarletIbis
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16 Nov 2017, 8:14 pm

BTDT wrote:
You don't want to be one of those loser Aspies who can only hold a job for six months because they do something really stupid and get canned. Over and over again. 8O

No one wants to be that but unfortunately I see this job ending that way in the future, or maybe just a bunch of small stupid things that eventually get me fired. Luckily, waitress is just a job and is not even close to any of the 7-8 careers I am considering. I just need the car to transport myself to college, and college will ‘transport’ me to a career that I will actually enjoy (just have to figure out what I enjoy the most). Then I will look back after retireing from said career and think “I would never have been able to be a (nuclear chemist, wildlife geneticist, architect, diplomat, actuary, lawyer, or forensic veterinarian) if I hadn’t have been a waitress first. Those are all the career paths I am considering, after years of pruning out things I really didn’t want, I ended up with those (yes I know they have nothing to do with each other).


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nick007
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17 Nov 2017, 6:34 am

Is there something else you could maybe do at the restaurant like perhaps dishwashing. That was my 1st job & I did it for 10 months till I left because I started a better job.


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ScarletIbis
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17 Nov 2017, 9:54 am

nick007 wrote:
Is there something else you could maybe do at the restaurant like perhaps dishwashing. That was my 1st job & I did it for 10 months till I left because I started a better job.

Unfortunately, no. When my supervisor was asking me wether or not I could do this job, I asked her “If I wasn’t a waitress, would I still have a job here?”. She said, “no, because we don’t have any other positions open”. I will just hold the job as long as I can and go from there.

Oh and the thing is, I have been washing dishes for my family for 9 years, even as the family grew (8 people now, only a few months ago did I negotiate a smaller work load). I am very good at handwashing dishes, but that wouldn’t be useful in a resturaunt of that size. They use a large dishwasher and have a specific person running it.


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BTDT
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17 Nov 2017, 10:13 am

I delivered newspapers as a kid. Not only did I learn how to collect money, but I even sold some paper subscriptions by knocking on doors and asking people if they wanted to subscribe!

There are plenty of jobs for people who can collect money and sell stuff!

In some businesses, the guy or gal who can sell stuff is more valuable than his manager. They can always find another manager. Finding people that can sell is hard.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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17 Nov 2017, 3:00 pm

I've had the experience of a good server in a busy restaurant saying, "Hi, thanks for coming in. Sorry for the wait. What can I start y'all off to drink?"

That is, she condensed steps rather than skip steps, and that felt so much better than a less-good server who did skip steps.

And I don't think a person needs to be falsely cheerful, people often pick up on that anyway. Depending on a person's mood of course, I think something more matter-of-fact, even-keeled, and steady eddie works just fine, too. :D



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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17 Nov 2017, 3:07 pm

And good luck with college and future career(s). Some of us older persons do switch careers, and some don't, and either way is just fine.

And for us on the spectrum, I really think "easy" jobs are often hard, whereas "hard" jobs are sometimes easy, I really think so! :D

And being a waiter or waitress in a restaurant is definitely a jazz improv, multi-task type of job.



ScarletIbis
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17 Nov 2017, 8:42 pm

BTDT wrote:
I delivered newspapers as a kid. Not only did I learn how to collect money, but I even sold some paper subscriptions by knocking on doors and asking people if they wanted to subscribe!

There are plenty of jobs for people who can collect money and sell stuff!

In some businesses, the guy or gal who can sell stuff is more valuable than his manager. They can always find another manager. Finding people that can sell is hard.

I already tried the alternate employment thing. When I couldn’t get a standard job for someone my age, I tried tutoring. I am very qualified to tutor [I tutored my older cousin for a year (paid), then later I tutored some of my classmates who were struggling(unpaid)], but I just couldn’t find anyone to tutor. I couldn’t figure out how to advertise my tutoring services without implying “your kid is dumb”. Also, the people who did need tutoring had already went to someone who already had a very good tutoring thing going. I actually like tutoring, and am very good at it, just couldn’t get anyone to tutor.


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ScarletIbis
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17 Nov 2017, 8:48 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
And for us on the spectrum, I really think "easy" jobs are often hard, whereas "hard" jobs are sometimes easy

I completely agree.


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nick007
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18 Nov 2017, 5:03 am

ScarletIbis wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Is there something else you could maybe do at the restaurant like perhaps dishwashing. That was my 1st job & I did it for 10 months till I left because I started a better job.

Unfortunately, no. When my supervisor was asking me wether or not I could do this job, I asked her “If I wasn’t a waitress, would I still have a job here?”. She said, “no, because we don’t have any other positions open”. I will just hold the job as long as I can and go from there.

Oh and the thing is, I have been washing dishes for my family for 9 years, even as the family grew (8 people now, only a few months ago did I negotiate a smaller work load). I am very good at handwashing dishes, but that wouldn’t be useful in a resturaunt of that size. They use a large dishwasher and have a specific person running it.
Trying to hold this job for as long as you can will help you gain some experience & that experience might could help you get another job in a restaurant for a different position.
I hate washing dishes by hand & am really slow at it partly cuz of OCD & bad fine motor-skills but it was a lot easier with the dishwashing machine at IHOP as well as faster.

I hope things work out well for you, as well as they can anyways.


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ScarletIbis
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19 Nov 2017, 2:30 pm

Well, I lasted 3 days. I thought I was doing much better with customer interaction but apparently I wasn’t. Also, plot twist, my enstranged best friend from elementary school to middle school, works there. She was the one they sent to send me to the ‘office’ to get fired. I don’t think they knew our past together but maybe it was the universes way of saying “don’t bother reconnecting with her”. The thing is, I haven’t been able to make anymore friends since we lost touch, as an NT, she probably found another best friend quite quickly. I have been friendless. Well, I am off to find another job, that is not related to food or hospitality.


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Please understand that everything I write should be read with a grain of salt because I frequently adjust my views based on new information (just read a description of INTP that should explain better than I)