How common is it to develop a dislike...

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Zed90230
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16 Nov 2017, 10:17 am

How common is it for a hetero person to develop a dislike of the opposite sex due to too many negative experiences or rejections?



kraftiekortie
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16 Nov 2017, 10:20 am

I believe most people develop momentary dislikes for anything (e.g., the opposite gender) which hurts them.

However, most people are aware enough to realize that the person that hurt them do not necessarily represent the gender at large---so they stop with the dislike, and move on with their lives.

That's happened to me. I might get rejected by a girl. I might then, briefly, develop a dislike for females in general. However, after maybe a few minutes or hours, the dislike dissipates under the influence of logic.



emmasma
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16 Nov 2017, 1:16 pm

Pretty common I'm thinking from reading through some of the comments on here.
I see a lot of hate towards NTs and a lot of hate toward women from men in this forum.
Specifically it seems like a lot of aspie men are really angry at women. Loneliness and sexual frustration can make you that way I guess.
It is very easy to blame ones problems on others. I have done it most of my life. I don't blame men, usually it's "I don't have friends because of all the Christian, Flag waveing, bigots in general society that don't like me because I am an atheist who grew up with hippies and I am better than they are and have better morals" type of thing (to put it very briefly) also have been resentful toward socially successful people, blaming them as a group for all the mean stuff some popular people do (and always remembering how much better than them I am because they are all shallow pieces of crap). It took me a long time to admit to myself that I don't have friends because I just don't interact with people that well and I push people away because they scare me. There have been some people who belittled me because of my beliefs but most people are respectful and decent. Its really not their fault that I don't do well at the game.



League_Girl
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16 Nov 2017, 2:12 pm

I have no idea. I find I have only developed a dislike for those with certain personalities and it only took one person. You can tell I had two bad relationships so I developed a disdain for certain people. I call them Jerrys and Jaydens. In real life I refer then as their real names. I do not want any Jerrys and Jaydens in my circle. I also don't like Frankies either.


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violette_22
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16 Nov 2017, 8:15 pm

You could instead examine the common denominator in these situations. I did it myself, and discovered I just accepted what I shouldn’t. It was me, my fault. You have a choice to accept or deny. I still have a general fear of men, but I do my best to not let it stop me from trying to befriend them. Some of my men friends feel this way because of brainwashing on YouTube mgtow videos. Instead of looking at the causes and effects of the issue at hand, they just give up on relationships and rely on paid women. So, that is unhealthy but everyone has different values. It’s better to look into yourself, recognize what you value within then look for that in others.



whatamievendoing
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17 Nov 2017, 4:08 am

emmasma wrote:
Specifically it seems like a lot of aspie men are really angry at women. Loneliness and sexual frustration can make you that way I guess.


You're not far off. I was angry at women for a good while in my younger years. A lot of it was due to them never initiating when I was too shy to ever approach them. I've grown out of it now, though. I no longer have the energy to pity myself over being eternally single anyway.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Nov 2017, 6:03 am

It’s common in the whole humanity; not just in aspie men.

There are loads of misandrist “love quotes” about hoe terrible men are that often get shared by heartbroken girls in social medias. There are whole sections on tumblr for that.



TheSpectrum
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17 Nov 2017, 8:14 am

This is a natural reaction to a series of rejections and perceived slights on your character.
It'll hurt, you'll be mad, but ultimately you'll get over it in time; whether through empathy and absolving the other party or by finding inner peace.


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GiantHockeyFan
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17 Nov 2017, 8:32 am

Zed90230 wrote:
How common is it for a hetero person to develop a dislike of the opposite sex due to too many negative experiences or rejections?

It certainly happened to me, yet at the same time I also get along better with women than men. If that happens while doing online dating you know that means it's time to step away. Trust me, not all women are like that: I married one of the very few who did give me a fair shot.



ZachGoodwin
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17 Nov 2017, 9:06 am

I try my best to overcome that dislike.



AngelRho
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17 Nov 2017, 10:06 am

It just depends on the situation. I was the only male in my high school Spanish 2 class. It was kinda cool at first. Soon into the 2nd semester, the girl talk started wearing me down to the point I felt physically ill.

There are always situations when you might be turned off towards a person or group of people, even one gender or another, for whatever reason.



emmasma
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17 Nov 2017, 12:18 pm

whatamievendoing wrote:
emmasma wrote:
Specifically it seems like a lot of aspie men are really angry at women. Loneliness and sexual frustration can make you that way I guess.


You're not far off. I was angry at women for a good while in my younger years. A lot of it was due to them never initiating when I was too shy to ever approach them. I've grown out of it now, though. I no longer have the energy to pity myself over being eternally single anyway.


I totally get it and understand where it is coming from. Finding someone to be with seems like it would be harder socially as a man in general and I can see how it would be hard being an aspie guy. Rejection sucks. As a woman it makes me sad and feeling a bit threatened sometimes. It also triggers me because its like women's very real issues with it are completely dismissed.

FYI Don't give up completely, you are young and seem like a decent person. I see people thinking they are to old to find someone because they are in their 20's and this is ridiculous. It's probably best not to obsess over it though because that just leads to bad feelings.



nick007
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18 Nov 2017, 12:31 am

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Zed90230 wrote:
How common is it for a hetero person to develop a dislike of the opposite sex due to too many negative experiences or rejections?

It certainly happened to me, yet at the same time I also get along better with women than men. If that happens while doing online dating you know that means it's time to step away. Trust me, not all women are like that: I married one of the very few who did give me a fair shot.
Similar to me. I tried my very best to get a girlfriend but I was single for about 7 years despite my very best efforts offline & online. I have disabilities that made it extremely difficult for me. What really hurt thou was that my women friends would complain to me about guys they would date or complain when they were single while never giving me a chance. I've heard from a lot of older women how they wished their daughters or granddaughters would be interested in a guy like me so it seemed like I just kept ending up in the friend zone while loser guys kept getting women & some would date multiple women at the same time. It seems perfectly reasonable to me why I became bitter. I've been called a misogynist more than a few times when I vented my frustration out online but people who know me offline think of me as a moderate feminist. I quit feeling bitter 1ce I got another girlfriend & very thankfully my current girlfriend read a lot of my posts on here about what I was wanting in a partner, what I had to offer, & the way my personality is within a relationship & she was wanting the similar things & PMed me.


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