what are some things you CANNOT do because of your ASD?

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TheSilentOne
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17 Nov 2017, 2:20 pm

xatrix26 wrote:
I'm a high-functioning ASD as well but I have many deficits too and some are quite excruciating to say the least.

- Can't hold down a job for very long
- Can't have a conversation with more than one person at a time
- Can't accept change of any kind
- Can't deviate from my established routines
- Can't make eye contact
- Incontinence and other gastrointestinal problems
- Constantly getting evicted from apartments because of loud stimming or meltdowns
- Can't tolerate too many NTs in the same area
- The usual sensory issues
- A crying child will cause severe meltdown
- Hyper-empathy can be excrutiating
- Socialization can be extremely problematic
- A magnet for bullying
- Sarcasm eludes me
- Jokes are sometimes hard to decipher
- Social cues are impossible to determine
- Overstimulation can also be excruciating
- Self harm is still an issue even at 42 years of age


Everything here, except the sixth one and the seventh one is true for me too.


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dragonsanddemons
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17 Nov 2017, 2:45 pm

I can't trust my vocal cords to respond to my commands - sometimes I'm incapable of speaking understandably, or even at all.

Can't speak to people outside of immediate family unless they say something first (I get nervous enough that I can't force myself to speak no matter how hard I try).

Can't really interact with people outside of immediate family much at all, really.

I apparently can't get hired for a job, despite not saying anything about my ASD in my resume or anything.

I also can't attend very loud events such as concerts (although I'd try it if it was Tool, because I love them so much).

Can't tune out "background noise," which caused major issues when I was living in a college dorm, and also makes it that much easier for me to get sensory overload.

Can't filter out voices from "background noise," or one person's voice with other people talking in the background, making it hard for me to understand what people are saying even though I can hear just fine.

Can't keep others from interrupting, ignoring, or talking over me because my voice is too quiet.

Can't handle sudden changes in pre-made plans without flipping out.

Can't accomplish tasks without very specific instructions.

Can't meet my dad's expectations of me, since he doesn't understand how hard my autism makes things for me, and then I get yelled at for being lazy, not trying hard enough, and/or not caring when in actuality, I was trying my best but still didn't succeed.

Probably a bunch more that don't immediately leap to mind right now, too. My autism, the way it affects me, is definitely a disability.


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kraftiekortie
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17 Nov 2017, 2:50 pm

1. I have lots of trouble with assertiveness. Cannot be a "teacher or a cop," either.

2. Probably could never become a supervisor. I've been just a clerk for 37 years without a promotion. Have trouble being a leader to others.

3. Can only speak to one person at a time. Can only hear one person at a time.

4. Have great difficulty with procrastination.

5. Cannot retain more than two-or-three-step instructions or directions.

6. Probably will never be able to drive a truck or motorcycle; can barely drive a car. Cannot drive in the UK, or drive with a manual transmission.

7. I'm limited as far as being able to have a businesslike conversation with someone. Have some difficulty "code-switching. Tend to be the "same person" whether in formal or informal situations.

8. I get flustered quite easily; this could be dangerous when I'm driving. Please don't "backseat drive" while I'm driving.

9. Have difficulty preventing myself from howling and meowing in public transportation.

10. Have an obvious disability within the area of "do-it-yourself." Just don't have the stomach for changes in a house or room. Rather keep things the same. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.



redrobin62
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17 Nov 2017, 3:11 pm

- Can't listen to music while I'm driving. Too distracting.
- Can't listen to people talking while driving, either.
- Can't stand loud noises. I just moved to a town where I could hear the gun range from over a mile away and the booms make me jump.
- Can't stand loose dogs on the streets. They make my heart leap out of my chest.
- Can't talk to more than one or two folks at a time.
- Can't stand change unless it's affected by myself.
- Can't do the social thing like normal folks unless I'm drunk, and I don't drink anymore.
- Can't be an effective supervisor even though I've been in that position during my nursing career.
- Can't take the noises, lights and screams you frequently encounter on the nursing floor, either.
- Can't deal with crying babies, especially at a library.
- Can't deal with crying adults, either, for that matter.



eeVenye
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17 Nov 2017, 3:44 pm

- Manage writing academic papers.
- Handle stress of planning for school breaks.
- Socialize at 'B-dub's' or other sports bars.
- Deal with multiple 'bosses'.
- Stop obsessing about shortcomings in the midst of them.

- Socialize without structure.
- Small talk for more than a minute or two.


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17 Nov 2017, 5:10 pm

-I can't attend parties or other loud or crowded events unless I want a meltdown
-I can't make friends easily
-I can't walk up to a person and initiate a conversation
-I can't do my own hair in a ponytail (motor skills)
-I can't put sunscreen or lotion on
-I can't be a part of a group conversation
-I can't be a support to somebody that has a minor kind of problem (I have issues responding correctly)
-I can't stand up for myself
-I can't handle changes in my plans or environment
-I can't multitask
-I can't always grasp abstract concepts or see the big picture
-When I have a special interest, I can't stop talking about it :lol: (although I don't really have one at the moment
-I can't swallow pills (gustatory sensitivities and motor skills)
-etc.


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elbowgrease
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17 Nov 2017, 6:43 pm

I might substitute the phrase "can do, sometimes, with extreme difficulty, maybe" in place of just can't do.

Initiate actual conversations. Most of the time.
Depending on the person, I'm pretty good at walking up and jumping right into a big monologue, with the hope that it will start a conversation. And sometimes I get lucky, and it ends up being a little like a conversation, which I usually can't actually deal with.
Although I've learned over time how to ask for what I need, like the time, or directions.
So it's easier to say I can't initiate conversations.
Really can't deal with group conversations. It feels like watching a movie, except that I'm expected to participate to some extent. So I usually don't take part.
Can't argue or debate productively.
Can't do algebra.
Have been unable to hold a job for any length of time. Same goes for things that I love, after a few months I have to take time off. Same seems to go for relationships.
That's the best I can do on a short list right now. There are quite a few others, though.



ASPartOfMe
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17 Nov 2017, 7:28 pm

Multitasking with any degree of success.
I can do a lot of things NT’s can do but not consistanly or for any length of time.


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Keladry
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17 Nov 2017, 10:48 pm

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
-I can't attend parties or other loud or crowded events unless I want a meltdown
-I can't make friends easily
-I can't walk up to a person and initiate a conversation
-I can't do my own hair in a ponytail (motor skills)
-I can't put sunscreen or lotion on
-I can't be a part of a group conversation
-I can't be a support to somebody that has a minor kind of problem (I have issues responding correctly)
-I can't stand up for myself


Your first part of the list basically describes me when I was your age. The ponytail one especially - I remember it took me about 6 or 7 months of actively trying around 7th grade to finally learn how to do that, and that's still about the extent of my hairstyling skills.




Other things I can't do:
eat healthy/plan and cook meals
keep a clean and orderly house
form close relationships with anyone outside of immediate family
date, or understanding dating and relationships in general
interact or talk normally while in a group
go to bars/loud restaurants, other loud places
be around anyone wearing perfume
be like everyone else around me



Clakker
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18 Nov 2017, 2:30 am

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
a lot of people talk about what they can do in spite of their ASD but what about where it really effects you?

personally, i feel i am very high functioning but there are still some things i feel i cannot do yet. On a social level i still cannot make eye contact, its just impossible for me to look at a persons face and listen at the same time. but i can face a person and talk to them. I feel i do not grasp the concept of romantic relationships yet. i had 2 relationships so far, one before a diagnoses and one after and both ended on a bad note. i just dont understand romance yet. could be a ASD thing but i dont know.

on a sensory level i CANNOT attend over stimulating environments without sensory tools. such as concerts, clubs, dances, anyplace thats oddly lit or too loud.

on a functioning level i am doing quite well, obviously all my meals are very simple but hey. theyre meals! i can do most things with very few steps and tasks without getting confused.

i still cannot deal with change which can be frustrating, especially at work if i cant do my own personal chores but luckily all my co-workers are very understanding and always ask me what chores i want to do.

how about you?


I don’t know if you’re actually diagnosed ASD but if you didn’t know anything about autism what would you single out as a cause for why you couldn’t do xyz?

I’m not saying that you can do anything that you want or set your mind to. I personally dislike affirmations so you’re not going to hear one from me. I just really hope that you haven’t internalized the “if you have autism then you can’t do xyz” mentality.
Women with autism often hear something like “you can’t be autistic because you do xyz”. It’s the NT world that’s definined what ASD is, what people with HFA can or cannot do, which excluded ASD women, for the most part, since the most likely to be diagnosed where men.

Do you see what I’m trying to get at?


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18 Nov 2017, 6:25 am

Can't write convincingly about a fictional character.
Can't forget about various linkages and sums - people who try to feed all the kittens and save all the wildlife too seem insane.



nephets
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18 Nov 2017, 12:19 pm

1. Cannot socialize, except with family and then not for long.
2. Can't talk to more than one person at once.
3. Cannot do the 'theory of mind' thing which allows you to converse with ease.
4. Unlike some on here, can't stop being authoritative;-cannot respect rank or seniority. It's my way, or you're wrong and I don't care if you're the CEO.
5. Cannot do small talk and have no idea why anyone would want to.
6. Cannot stop working and relax when at work.



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18 Nov 2017, 12:30 pm

-I have a very hard time talking on the phone
-I can't stand the sounds of dogs barking
-babies crying get on my nerves
-I can't live in big cities because of noise such as traffic, sirens, etc.
-I can't initiate conversations
-It's very hard to break habits
-I have a hard time following instructions that is not direct.
-I have a hard time explaining things in great detail
-I can't really explain or recognize my feelings
-My body language apparently repels people and I have no idea why
-I struggle with going to places where there is loud music and lots of people
-I really struggle going places unless my mother or some other relative come with me
-gastrointestinal problems
-I can't multitask whatsoever.
-Talking to anyone that is not my family members is incredibly hard.


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StampySquiddyFan
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18 Nov 2017, 12:33 pm

^^^^I have a lot of problems talking on the phone too! I never talk on the phone because of them. What is hard for you when talking on the phone? I'm curious! :D


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18 Nov 2017, 12:39 pm

There is nothing I cannot do.
I have a very strong mind and will.
No one can tell me I can't do something that I can't then go and do.
I'm stubborn like that.
I can do anything.

I can cost me though.
And I can't do things consistently.
And I may need time to recover.
But, damn, don't tell me I can't do things just because I'm autistic.


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AquaineBay
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18 Nov 2017, 1:15 pm

StampySquiddyFan wrote:
^^^^I have a lot of problems talking on the phone too! I never talk on the phone because of them. What is hard for you when talking on the phone? I'm curious! :D

It's mostly trying to find things to talk about or keep a conversation going. I don't even make phone calls for appointments and similar things because my anxiety spikes up like crazy and I start mumbling and have trouble listening.


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