what are some things you CANNOT do because of your ASD?

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ZombieBrideXD
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17 Nov 2017, 2:13 am

a lot of people talk about what they can do in spite of their ASD but what about where it really effects you?

personally, i feel i am very high functioning but there are still some things i feel i cannot do yet. On a social level i still cannot make eye contact, its just impossible for me to look at a persons face and listen at the same time. but i can face a person and talk to them. I feel i do not grasp the concept of romantic relationships yet. i had 2 relationships so far, one before a diagnoses and one after and both ended on a bad note. i just dont understand romance yet. could be a ASD thing but i dont know.

on a sensory level i CANNOT attend over stimulating environments without sensory tools. such as concerts, clubs, dances, anyplace thats oddly lit or too loud.

on a functioning level i am doing quite well, obviously all my meals are very simple but hey. theyre meals! i can do most things with very few steps and tasks without getting confused.

i still cannot deal with change which can be frustrating, especially at work if i cant do my own personal chores but luckily all my co-workers are very understanding and always ask me what chores i want to do.

how about you?


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Redxk
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17 Nov 2017, 2:42 am

I cannot socialize with more than one person at a time.



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17 Nov 2017, 3:06 am

Most of the above, plus I have trouble interpreting awkward silences. It doesn't matter so much where I'm not required to say anything, but sometimes someone will be waiting on me to volunteer some information and I will have no idea what I'm supposed to say because I have no idea what I'm supposed to be thinking because I will have missed the little signals from the veiled comments made by others immediately prior to the awkward silence.

What I would like is to have a socially adept person in my ear, like spies do, listening in and telling me what's going on, then telling me how best to respond.


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xatrix26
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17 Nov 2017, 3:33 am

I'm a high-functioning ASD as well but I have many deficits too and some are quite excruciating to say the least.

- Can't hold down a job for very long
- Can't have a conversation with more than one person at a time
- Can't accept change of any kind
- Can't deviate from my established routines
- Can't make eye contact
- Incontinence and other gastrointestinal problems
- Constantly getting evicted from apartments because of loud stimming or meltdowns
- Can't tolerate too many NTs in the same area
- The usual sensory issues
- A crying child will cause severe meltdown
- Hyper-empathy can be excrutiating
- Socialization can be extremely problematic
- A magnet for bullying
- Sarcasm eludes me
- Jokes are sometimes hard to decipher
- Social cues are impossible to determine
- Overstimulation can also be excruciating
- Self harm is still an issue even at 42 years of age


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Cratilla
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17 Nov 2017, 4:04 am

I don't know if I have ASD.

However, two things I'm very limited in that may be due to it:

  • Social interaction is hard, particularly groups or strangers. It's a puzzle that I'm not very good at. I don't really have friends because of it. Work meetings are not my favourite thing.
  • I find it difficult going to different places than standard (i.e. home, work and nearby shops). I rarely go to other places, and when I do, half the time my Dad has to calm me down over the phone. Because if something doesn't go to plan, I crumble.



EzraS
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17 Nov 2017, 5:08 am

Can't socially engage with most anyone, very withdrawn.
Am primarily nonverbal.
Can't really look after myself, require substantial support.
Can't cognitively process many things that are simple for most others.
There's things I can't tune out most others can.
Can't go to normal school.
Can't go out by myself without danger of getting lost and or walking out into traffic.
Probably can't get a job.



HighLlama
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17 Nov 2017, 5:31 am

xatrix26 wrote:
- Can't have a conversation with more than one person at a time


Very difficult for me, too. If there are two or more other people, I tend to observe rather than join in.

- Can't accept change of any kind

Quote:
- Hyper-empathy can be excruciating


Enough said.

I have a low tolerance for noise unless I'm in control of it. Also not very tolerant of light--it makes my eyes burn and water if I have to endure too much. This can cause real difficulties when driving. I also have difficulty starting and ending conversations. I tend to speak slowly, and do not find speaking natural. It's hard to speak at all if I'm burnt out. People tend to interrupt a lot because they think I'm done speaking when I've only started, so that leads to issues.



Edna3362
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17 Nov 2017, 5:54 am

Not that I cannot per se -- but chances of success doing certain things are more or less a gamble than a certain thing even with experience and knowledge. The best I could do is turn the odds to favor based on my actions and choices if I have the means to. :lol:

What I cannot really do, is, this mental multitasking while taking accounts of several conditions and factors while paying attention to the most subtitle things constantly and do it consistently, while filtering and judging which matters and which isn't.



In other words, I cannot be consistent in more ways than one -- whether it's a matter of competence or capacity of any form -- because of my ASD.


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Joe90
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17 Nov 2017, 6:25 am

I cannot be authoritative to save my life. That is one thing I find impossible. I could never be a teacher, or a cop, or anything that involves self-confident social skills. I tell you, it does make life harder than what you think. I seem to shy away from any situation where I might have to be outspoken. I find it SO hard.


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17 Nov 2017, 6:51 am

Edna3362 wrote:
this mental multitasking while taking accounts of several conditions and factors while paying attention to the most subtitle things constantly and do it consistently, while filtering and judging which matters and which isn't.


OMG. Exactly. I hate how NTs can do this without thinking and I struggle to do it for a few seconds. Then, when I get exhausted and tune out, I'm treated like some sort of weird, antisocial punk who hates people.


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17 Nov 2017, 6:53 am

Joe90 wrote:
I cannot be authoritative to save my life. That is one thing I find impossible. I could never be a teacher, or a cop, or anything that involves self-confident social skills. I tell you, it does make life harder than what you think. I seem to shy away from any situation where I might have to be outspoken. I find it SO hard.


I was a teacher for a while. I hated it.

It's hard to be confident when you're always second-guessing yourself...

because society keeps telling you that you messed up, even when you were sure you were doing it right.


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Leahcar
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17 Nov 2017, 9:59 am

There are multiple things that my autism prevents me from doing:

* Living independently without help
* Going to busy places without a parent or guardian
* Managing money
* Asserting myself without coming across as bossy or rude
* Thinking before speaking
* Coping in stressful situations
* Empathising with others properly. I try, but I can't always put myself in other's shoes
* Trusting people


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17 Nov 2017, 12:09 pm

According to my mom, anything worth effort. But then I've always been my family's scapegoat.


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17 Nov 2017, 12:17 pm

very limited if any eye contact
some digestive problems ruling too much of my life
can't multitask
feel like being social isn't a huge waste of time


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17 Nov 2017, 12:43 pm

Handle stress like a normie

Get into a group and just help out and contribute without being told what to do

Learn like the others

Remembering to do things that are not part of my daily routine

Being asked to do something and then doing it later

Make friends

Join in a group conversation

Just walking up to someone I don't know and start talking

Do big group conversations


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17 Nov 2017, 2:20 pm

xatrix26 wrote:
I'm a high-functioning ASD as well but I have many deficits too and some are quite excruciating to say the least.

- Can't hold down a job for very long
- Can't have a conversation with more than one person at a time
- Can't accept change of any kind
- Can't deviate from my established routines
- Can't make eye contact
- Incontinence and other gastrointestinal problems
- Constantly getting evicted from apartments because of loud stimming or meltdowns
- Can't tolerate too many NTs in the same area
- The usual sensory issues
- A crying child will cause severe meltdown
- Hyper-empathy can be excrutiating
- Socialization can be extremely problematic
- A magnet for bullying
- Sarcasm eludes me
- Jokes are sometimes hard to decipher
- Social cues are impossible to determine
- Overstimulation can also be excruciating
- Self harm is still an issue even at 42 years of age


Everything here, except the sixth one and the seventh one is true for me too.


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