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rogueone
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17 Nov 2017, 4:22 am

Hi there

My name is Liam

I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder just today

It's only been a few hours and I'm not coping with my diagnosis.
I feel embarrassed and ashamed of it, I do not feel like the person I was when I walked in.

I found this forum through Reachout.com



LostGirI
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17 Nov 2017, 2:13 pm

Hello Liam :)

I only got diagnosed in the summer and at first I felt embarrassed to. Only because I thought it was going to have been obvious to everybody else and like I was the last to find out. It was my GP who suspected and sent me off to be assessed so I felt a bit paranoid. I am not embarrassed or ashamed now though. What do we have to be embarrassed about?


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fluffysaurus
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17 Nov 2017, 4:01 pm

Hello Liam

I was diagnosed about three months ago, I asked for the assessment but I wasn't sure what was different about me but that something was and I half expected the assessor to think I was wasting her time. To my surprise and initial relief I felt she immediately got me, which felt good, but also odd.

However, she also pointed out some problems I had that I had not been aware of, eg I don't show on the outside my negative feelings. This was a big shock, I had assumed nobody cared when they upset me, now I learn they didn't know. There were other things too, so it has taken some time to adjust.

Take as long as you need to adjust too, but you are adjusting to a different view of yourself, you are not a different person. And remember the person who assessed you is trained to look for those signs, they are not as obvious to everyone else.

I have adjusted now, largely because of this website :D and welcome.



AnonymousAnonymous
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17 Nov 2017, 4:26 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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TheAP
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17 Nov 2017, 4:36 pm

Welcome! :D I hope you come to accept your diagnosis. There's nothing to be ashamed of; having autism may mean that you struggle more with some things, but it doesn't mean that you're inferior or that you can't be successful.



rogueone
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21 Nov 2017, 12:43 am

Hello all, thanks for the replies. Sorry I haven't spoken with you all sooner...these last few days have hurt and are still hurting me slightly.

I didn't go very well in school socially, I was regarded as a weird person and was an "easy target" for bullies. I was massively obsessed with a variety of topics eg Movies, Star Wars, The Hunley, The American Civil War.

All through out high school kids bullied me and called me "autistic" I almost feel like they won when I was diagnosed

:(

I don't feel like the same person I was before



fluffysaurus
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21 Nov 2017, 6:43 am

The way in which you were introduced to Autism is affecting your feeling, but those bullies don't know anything about Autism aside from a few stereotypes that they've picked up on. Well done them, they've picked up on something. Picking up on things is what they do, but they don't do thorough understanding well because that takes focus, which most of them are s**t at.

I was told I was Aspie by my sister it went like this 'You have no feelings, you make no effort with other people, you have no empathy, you're selfish, so you're Asperger's' Understandably I did not like that idea, in fact I was hurt by it. I was hurt because I have feelings.

This carried on for about 17 years, then after endless problems interacting with people, particularly other women, I asked to be assessed for Asperger's (it's all ASD now together) I didn't know if that was the (problem?) but I knew there was some reason that my interactions with other people kept going wrong.

The assessment was a relief but there was so much I hadn't been prepared for that for about a month :cry:
Part of the problem was that none of the follow on happened I was just cast adrift so I went looking on the internet and found endless sights for people looking after people with Autism. Warnings about dating someone with Asperger's. Everything was negative until I got here.

I didn't suddenly connect, :| I began hesitantly, but I am learning more about Autism directly by communicating with people on the spectrum. We are a very varied lot :) What I have noticed most is the straight forwardness of the posts which is a revelation to me, and the acceptance :D I don't have to hide because being obsessive, weird, having anxiety, depression, no friends ect is all normal here (though not compulsory)

So give yourself time to get to learn which bits of you are ASD and which bits are uniquely you :D



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21 Nov 2017, 6:57 am

My sister hasn't spoken to me in three years (her decision) and I haven't allowed my Dad to tell her about my diagnosis because I resent the idea that she will feel she was right all along. I will let him tell her when I'm ready, but Autism is about me not her :D



LostGirI
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21 Nov 2017, 7:25 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
My sister hasn't spoken to me in three years (her decision) and I haven't allowed my Dad to tell her about my diagnosis because I resent the idea that she will feel she was right all along. I will let him tell her when I'm ready, but Autism is about me not her :D


Sorry to hear about your sister. She doesn't sound very nice at all! I'm shocked what you said about finding sites saying not to date people with Asperger's. Very negative indeed. I agree with what you say about this site. It helps me a lot in not feeling so isolated and misunderstood. Just reading other people's posts etc.


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fluffysaurus
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21 Nov 2017, 8:10 am

LostGirI wrote:
fluffysaurus wrote:
My sister hasn't spoken to me in three years (her decision) and I haven't allowed my Dad to tell her about my diagnosis because I resent the idea that she will feel she was right all along. I will let him tell her when I'm ready, but Autism is about me not her :D


Sorry to hear about your sister. She doesn't sound very nice at all! I'm shocked what you said about finding sites saying not to date people with Asperger's. Very negative indeed. I agree with what you say about this site. It helps me a lot in not feeling so isolated and misunderstood. Just reading other people's posts etc.


I don't think she behaved well over the Asperger's or over cutting me out, but she's not overall a bad person, I got dropped by my friend a couple of months later, after 29 years, ironically for not telling him about the situation with my sister (ashamed), and he isn't a bad person either, hence going for an assessment.

Misunderstood is defiantly the right word, and then you become isolated.

Glad you missed the negative websites, there was a lot of it, I only look on here now :) which has lots on it, I've even learnt I'm not the only one who still hugs their teddy bears :D



LostGirI
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21 Nov 2017, 10:06 am

Wow! Sounds like you have had a hard time of it. I've distanced myself from a lifelong friend too the past months or so. She cares but she has no tact and I'm sick of her sticking the boot in when I'm down. I don't know if it's intentional or not but I don't care anymore. I'm sick of being used and abused by everybody


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fluffysaurus
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21 Nov 2017, 1:09 pm

Oh dear, that doesn't sound good. Sometimes it is best to admit, as you seem to have done, that a friendship might not be doing you any good. People can be well meaning but still make you feel like s**t, which you proberbly don't need right now.

My sister and friend problems were a couple of years ago now and I had a year where I wasn't sure if things were over permanently to adjust so I feel much better about it all now. :D

Now I've had time to adjust to being Aspie and learning what is Aspie I'm feeling a lot better about past relationships with people and no longer bitter (mostly) but I've made the decision not to try to go back and rekindle things but to look forward. How about you?



thebelgradebelief
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21 Nov 2017, 3:22 pm

Hi, welcome to WrongPlanet. It may be a big shock to learn this about yourself, but you shouldn't feel ashamed. Autism isn't a bad thing, it's just an explanation for the behaviors that you already have. It's unfortunate that other feel it's negative.


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rogueone
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22 Nov 2017, 6:42 am

Okay, so a little more about me...

I love movies, it's my dream to be in the movie industry

Favourite movie: Chalet Girl
Favourite actress: Felicity Jones

I'm a rather lonely person so I often daydream to escape, then find myself upset when I can live like the daydreams I have. Walking the red carpet and stuff like that etc

I work as a shopping cart pusher for a supermarket



LostGirI
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22 Nov 2017, 7:42 am

fluffysaurus wrote:
Oh dear, that doesn't sound good. Sometimes it is best to admit, as you seem to have done, that a friendship might not be doing you any good. People can be well meaning but still make you feel like s**t, which you proberbly don't need right now.

My sister and friend problems were a couple of years ago now and I had a year where I wasn't sure if things were over permanently to adjust so I feel much better about it all now. :D

Now I've had time to adjust to being Aspie and learning what is Aspie I'm feeling a lot better about past relationships with people and no longer bitter (mostly) but I've made the decision not to try to go back and rekindle things but to look forward. How about you?


Trying but not quite there yet


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AspergersActor8693
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22 Nov 2017, 9:08 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet Rogueone from a fellow movie buff!! ! :)