I am full of anger.

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I am 28 disabled, living on benefits with no friends or social life what so ever but it didn't have to be like this. I am disabled due to a suicide attempt when I was 19. My depression started when I was 17 in my second year of college, in my first year my parents had gotten back together after splitting up for a few years when my dad cheated on my mum, when they got back together that anger she had towards him she turned on me which would mostly come out when she was drunk non the less my life was improving, my social skills where getting better I could talk to strangers and I had never had so many friends, during the summer holidays I decided to get a job I thought I was ready I was not the point that made it the hardest was another lad flirting with me which just made it too uncomfortable so I quit. My mothers response to this was to stop giving me £30 a week which was equivalent to EMA which everyone else was being given. The fact that everyone else was being giving money and I wasn't further alienated me. I couldn't see how I could cope in society and started to feel suicidal, my mothers behaviour got much worse she would actually assault me one time she ripped off my bedroom door to try and kill my pet snake. No one had told me that you could get loans for living expenses and my parents told me I would get no money in Uni so I thought I would have to do a twelve mile round trip walking to uni and have nothing to eat so I didn't bother attempting to go. After taking a load of pills and having my stomache pumped, I ended up being given a council flat with supported living, at first I was on Jobs seekers allowance but did not have the social skills to get a job, I was then getting benefits for depression I had an assessment which found me fit for work, I could cope after nearly a year living in isolation with depression I was just overwhelmed and did nothing. I had no money coming in it was winter and I had no electricity or heating and could barely afford to eat I was surviving on a few biscuits a day I was literally starving to death, then the support worker was banging on my door saying she was going to get the police the next day, so the next day I ended up jumping off a car park and becoming disabled. I kept in touch via email with two friends but as I had nothing going on in my life I had nothing to talk about so it just fizzled out.

I am angry because it didn't have to be like this, if my parents had been more supportive and less abusive I could have coped.
I am angry because the government decided that because my mother currently earned more than £30k that I was privileged and should not have been given the same as everyone else, even though my mother only became a teacher when I was 12 and already in a failing school and had spent the majority of my childhood in "relative poverty", the fact that I was socially disadvantaged and the government further alienated me by not treating me equally really angers me if I had that money I would have progressed and not be where I am now.

I am sorry for the massive essay I just feel like I had to get that off my chest. Is anyone else angry with how their life turned out?

No, I wouldn't say I'm angry. Maybe a little disappointed at times. I can understand you feeling angry though. Are you in contact with your parents now?

Yeah because I am disabled I rely on them, if I didn't rely on them I wouldn't have contact at all. To be honest they are not the worst parents in the world, outwardly they would seem like good parents they are both employed and raised my brother and I with manners they can just be very selfish and stubborn at times and my mother is probably a high functioning alcoholic and my dad is too afraid of her leaving him he tolerates her bad behaviour.

I watch a lot of programmes and youtube videos.

I feel your pain Daniel. I get angry sometimes. I wish my own life was so much more than it is. I too am dependent on my parents though for somewhat different reasons. In my case it is my dad who is often unreasonable and has caused me a lot of misery.

I hope you find a way through. That there is something you just haven't thought of or spotted yet that will change everything. That bit of magic to make you overcome the odds and get the life you dream of.

This probably isn't helpful - people get angry at me when I make comments of the kind for some reason but it's helpful to me when dealing with anger from issues in the past, so you never know -
Whatever happened in the past happened. Fact. Whether it was your parents fault (I was raised by two violent alcoholics, for example) or whether it wasn't, whether it was your fault or not (I too have damaged my health by my actions as a teenager) doesn't really matter now. You've got to start from where you are now, what you've got to work with. You comment that it didn't have to be this way, if the past had not happened as it had. Similarly, the present doesn't have to be this way either, or the future, if you want to change it and find a way to do so that works for you.
You likely still have abilities even with a disability, so you can capitalize on those. You can continue to work on your social side if you want, and try to improve this to make your future life richer. You're not stuck with crappy circumstances, if you are still alive and can affect change.