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Missworry
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17 Nov 2017, 12:40 pm

Hi

I am an adult with asperger.
I don’t have children of my own but I do have children in my family.
They always refer to me as the one who talks to them. I usually talk to them about their feelings and how they should behave and what they should change about themselves to be happy human beings. And they always remember what I say and like talking to me.

Now I was wondering if this fits into someone who has Asperger’s ? I thought that people with asperger can’t do that.

Am I misdiagnosed?

I hope someone can help.

Thank u



emmasma
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17 Nov 2017, 12:53 pm

I think this sounds very Asperger like to me. An NT would just talk about silly kid things and not try to be so serious. It can be a good thing.
I find it easier to talk with kids because I'm not held by them to all the social standards.



emmasma
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17 Nov 2017, 1:04 pm

Missworry wrote:
Hi

I am an adult with asperger.
I don’t have children of my own but I do have children in my family.
They always refer to me as the one who talks to them. I usually talk to them about their feelings and how they should behave and what they should change about themselves to be happy human beings. And they always remember what I say and like talking to me.

Now I was wondering if this fits into someone who has Asperger’s ? I thought that people with asperger can’t do that.

Am I misdiagnosed?

I hope someone can help.

Thank u


Many people with apergers are very empathetic, just express it differently. I find I see a lot of things in people that others don't because I look at the world from another perspective. I sometimes feel I have more empathy but it just doesn't translate into great conversation because I take everything so seriously.



Missworry
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17 Nov 2017, 2:09 pm

Thanks for the reply.

Yes I am very serious when I talk with children. I can’t really play games with them but I can talk about developmental things and how to form personality. I am a mental health practitioner (ironically) and I am very good at explaining a lot of things on a theoretical level. And I talk to those kids about how I perceive them and what things are going good and what things are going less good and how they can change this.

At my work I sometimes get criticized about how I explain too much without monitoring someone’s feelings. I am getting better at it though.



League_Girl
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18 Nov 2017, 2:31 pm

Missworry wrote:
Hi

I am an adult with asperger.
I don’t have children of my own but I do have children in my family.
They always refer to me as the one who talks to them. I usually talk to them about their feelings and how they should behave and what they should change about themselves to be happy human beings. And they always remember what I say and like talking to me.

Now I was wondering if this fits into someone who has Asperger’s ? I thought that people with asperger can’t do that.

Am I misdiagnosed?

I hope someone can help.

Thank u



You're you. Not everything about someone with it has to fit into it because they're them, not the disorder.


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Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


StampySquiddyFan
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18 Nov 2017, 10:40 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Missworry wrote:
Hi

I am an adult with asperger.
I don’t have children of my own but I do have children in my family.
They always refer to me as the one who talks to them. I usually talk to them about their feelings and how they should behave and what they should change about themselves to be happy human beings. And they always remember what I say and like talking to me.

Now I was wondering if this fits into someone who has Asperger’s ? I thought that people with asperger can’t do that.

Am I misdiagnosed?

I hope someone can help.

Thank u



You're you. Not everything about someone with it has to fit into it because they're them, not the disorder.


^^^^^This


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magz
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19 Nov 2017, 6:37 am

You remind me of my uncle - he hasn't been diagnosed but when my psych told me about AS and I learned it is at least partly genetic, I thought of him.
When I was a small kid, he was definitely my favorite adult. He talked serious to me, even when I was a toddler. He treated me like a person, not like some kind of a puppy to play with or train. And it was a great mistery of my childhood that when he talked to other adults, it usually ended with violent arguments over minor things. He was very skilled but couldn't hold any job because of constant conflicts with coworkers.
But with children all his creativity and out-of-the-box thinking surfaced and made him great.
I guess his conflicts with adults came from missing the social rules he was expected to follow - and children didn't know the rules yet so they accepted him as he was.

When I think of it now, I remember my boss (also Asperger's) and myself and my uncle - we all respect even very little children, see persons in them, and when interacting, we focus on them, not on ourselves dealing with them. Some kids get it and value it.


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Missworry
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19 Nov 2017, 11:12 am

magz wrote:
You remind me of my uncle - he hasn't been diagnosed but when my psych told me about AS and I learned it is at least partly genetic, I thought of him.
When I was a small kid, he was definitely my favorite adult. He talked serious to me, even when I was a toddler. He treated me like a person, not like some kind of a puppy to play with or train. And it was a great mistery of my childhood that when he talked to other adults, it usually ended with violent arguments over minor things. He was very skilled but couldn't hold any job because of constant conflicts with coworkers.
But with children all his creativity and out-of-the-box thinking surfaced and made him great.
I guess his conflicts with adults came from missing the social rules he was expected to follow - and children didn't know the rules yet so they accepted him as he was.

When I think of it now, I remember my boss (also Asperger's) and myself and my uncle - we all respect even very little children, see persons in them, and when interacting, we focus on them, not on ourselves dealing with them. Some kids get it and value it.


Thank you for your answer.
I do have an easier way of talking with children than with adults. I don’t talk to kids on their level (I just can’t) but I talk to them as little adults. So
Sometimes they don’t understand me but they do like talking to me. Maybe because of the reason you mentioned. But I also talk to them like a grown up when I discipline them. They don’t really like that and I don’t know if they understand but later on i have learned to ask them if they understand or understood what I said. And I also have learned to ask how they feel about what I said. I never used to do that. Now I hear that they were irritated/ neutral/ angry/ sad etc. And then I learn from that. But with adults it’s different. They usually misunderstand me.



emmasma
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20 Nov 2017, 7:21 am

magz wrote:
You remind me of my uncle - he hasn't been diagnosed but when my psych told me about AS and I learned it is at least partly genetic, I thought of him.
When I was a small kid, he was definitely my favorite adult. He talked serious to me, even when I was a toddler. He treated me like a person, not like some kind of a puppy to play with or train. And it was a great mistery of my childhood that when he talked to other adults, it usually ended with violent arguments over minor things. He was very skilled but couldn't hold any job because of constant conflicts with coworkers.
But with children all his creativity and out-of-the-box thinking surfaced and made him great.
I guess his conflicts with adults came from missing the social rules he was expected to follow - and children didn't know the rules yet so they accepted him as he was.

When I think of it now, I remember my boss (also Asperger's) and myself and my uncle - we all respect even very little children, see persons in them, and when interacting, we focus on them, not on ourselves dealing with them. Some kids get it and value it.


I love this! :heart:
I have an uncle like that to and he also seemed to treat us more like "humans" and it is refreshing. Kids really seem to appreciate it when someone talks to them and takes them seriously. I realize that it is also important for them to act as kids and have people who don't take things seriously, but there are others for that.



League_Girl
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20 Nov 2017, 2:16 pm

My mom is NT and she did this too. :?

I don't think it's an aspie thing. In fact I thought it was strange when I heard parents dictated what they were going to do on vacations and what house they were going to live in, where they are going to eat etc. and it didn't matter how their kids felt because that is not how we grew up in my household. Lot of kids in Montana thought my parents were strange and told them what they were doing wasn't normal. :lol: What was so strange about my parents? Treating them like they were human and that their thoughts and feelings mattered. There were occasions where my parents would decide what they were going to do and my brothers and I had no say in it but that was only sometimes.


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Missworry
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21 Nov 2017, 8:02 am

O I don’t know what’s aspergers and what not. I just know that people tell me that I talk on a “higher” level with kids and that they don’t understand. I can’t play with them so the only thing I can do is watch movies with them and talk about serious things. Usually how they can develop into healthy human beings.