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No attraction at all to men or women.

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billegge
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19 Nov 2017, 7:36 pm

I went through something similar, not feeling any sexual attraction and not having a clue why guys were looking at girls. The only time I really felt sexual attraction is with my wife or in the past a girlfriend. This changed however as I grew older. Now I look at porn, but honestly, the porn girl has to look similar to my wife for me to be interested.

If I look at a girl I might think, wow she is hot, and assume this is sexual attraction but if I try to imagine sex with them I feel nothing. So I conclude that I am simply admiring a sexual quality. Sex or sexual things do not seem to represent the physical things - sex is not about anatomy, its something on a philosophical level. Ayn Rand said sex was a celebration of life.



billegge
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19 Nov 2017, 7:39 pm

AceofPens wrote:
Personally, I can't wait until I'm in my thirties. I expect that my peers' sex drives will have toned down by then, or at least I hope that will be the case.


I think the 30's for women is their max sexual drive. It seems that late 40's is when it declines.



TheSpectrum
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19 Nov 2017, 8:18 pm

Welcome to the club, man.


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AceofPens
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19 Nov 2017, 9:54 pm

billegge wrote:
AceofPens wrote:
Personally, I can't wait until I'm in my thirties. I expect that my peers' sex drives will have toned down by then, or at least I hope that will be the case.


I think the 30's for women is their max sexual drive. It seems that late 40's is when it declines.


Seriously? I always thought it was all downhill once puberty was done with you...


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Roo95
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22 Nov 2017, 8:20 am

underwater wrote:
You sound like a bog standard asexual, which there are a lot of on the spectrum, and your parents should stop bothering you about partying and that stuff.


My parents have always been like that. They know im not the most sociable person and that I have bad anxiety issues and they still always mock me for not going out drinking and stuff like every one else my age. I have been to a nightclub drunk maybe 3 times with friends and had a good night but still not my thing. Recently they keep saying I should go partying in Ibiza wich sounds like hell to me. I wouldn't even make it out of the airport and they know this. They Always say "when I was your age" I was doing this and that. And I think piss off I'm not you. I'd rather be different anyway



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22 Nov 2017, 8:25 am

There's a lot of benefit that can come from that. People (men, in particular) tend to make a lot of bad decisions when it comes to the opposite sex.

If you have no interest in sex, that frees up a TON of time for other things.



Roo95
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08 Dec 2017, 8:38 am

I think I might be demisexual then. I haven't heard of it until it was mentioned on here. I do think there's a possibility that if I was with someone for a good amount of time, say 5 months as an example and this person understood me, understood my shutdowns and eccentric behavior and didn't judge me then i think I may well develop sexual feelings towards them if I thought they felt the same.
Its extremely difficult to form a connection with someone when you feel misunderstood, and have to mask your behavior and act normal, just like my last relationship



moarjin
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10 Dec 2017, 1:53 pm

Roo95 wrote:
AceofPens wrote:
I'm asexual, too. Being female, it's a bit easier to deal with, but I understand where you're coming from. Even apart from the mere fact that sex is unappealing, the lack of sexual interest brings with it other certain...deficits. Sex is at the heart of many social and cultural customs, from the clothes we wear to how we interact with the people around us. Lacking certain instincts related to sexual desire makes navigating the world just a little bit harder in light of that. I can't understand for the life of me why I should shave my legs, for example, which is blunt, but it goes to show how much sex has to do with the way we act, even when we think it's unrelated.


You do sound like me. It has caused issues in the past. I was in a nightclub once, not the usual place for an aspie I know but I was too drunk to care and had friends with me and a pretty woman started dancing sexually right in front of me, touching me, trying to get with me I think and my friends were cheering me on saying how hot it was and how turned on they would be if they were in my position and I sort of ignored her as it really didn't turn me on at all, It had no affect on me. She got bored and walked off and wouldn't talk to me. Got some odd looks of my friends too. I see things every day my friends always comment on like how hot it is that that woman's boobs are showing out her bra and how her ass moves and all I see is a woman. I don't notice these things


Hey, the same thing happened to me.
Don't feel wierd, it's ok, you're an Asexual Aspie.
Welcome to the club my friend. 8)


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moarjin
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10 Dec 2017, 2:04 pm

Roo95 wrote:
I think I might be demisexual then. I haven't heard of it until it was mentioned on here. I do think there's a possibility that if I was with someone for a good amount of time, say 5 months as an example and this person understood me, understood my shutdowns and eccentric behavior and didn't judge me then i think I may well develop sexual feelings towards them if I thought they felt the same.
Its extremely difficult to form a connection with someone when you feel misunderstood, and have to mask your behavior and act normal, just like my last relationship


That'll happen. If you're patient.

I've been in my current relationship for 13 years. Luckily, my partner is not sexually charged at all, and is pretty much asexual also. She's also into the same things as me, and understands how my thought processes work.
We just get on well. There's obviously some compromise on both sides, just as in any relationship, but no pressure on either of us to be anything other than ourselves, and it seems to work great.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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10 Dec 2017, 2:16 pm

Asexuality is perfectly normal and perfectly okay. :)


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