Depressed, sad and frustrated because I've been reminded how much of a failure I am, and my life years ago was nearly completely ruined close to the holidays, and how the world is always going to always see autistic people as either something to bully and abuse or someone with a horrible disease that must desperately be cured. Maybe they're right. Maybe if I didn't have Asperger Syndrome I wouldn't be a failure. Maybe I would have graduated from high school and gotten a job and know how to drive a car instead of being put in a group home where most of the people had chronic schizophrenia when I was 21. But then again, maybe if I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was still an actual child things would have turned out better...or I'd be put in ABA where they torture and punish autistic kids in ways that most parents would be horrified to see being done to an NT child.
Why was I even born? Besides the fact my parents didn't use protection, I mean? Either that, or the condom broke or something. I know I wasn't planned, they told me.