Long friendship with Aspie . . . I give up

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Meurgh

Something wrong? I don't really know what a "Meurgh" means but it doesn't sound good.

Meurgh has ended many seemingly wonderful friendships.

Is it Me:"urgh" stating that you are making the sound or is it "meurgh"?

For what it's worth I don't think we often give up on the other end.

So what happened? What made you call it quits? Want to talk about it?

Meurgh happened.

One glorious day you and your BFF are celebrating life together. The next day, she texts you a single dreadful word: "meurgh," and that's when you know it's all over. Was it something you did? No, you did nothing wrong. Do you both just need a little bit of space? No, you are never going to see her or hear her voice again for the rest of your life. There is no explaining this phenomenon. It just is what it is. It is meurgh.

I think she just puked.

What a mess.

The Meurgh is strong with you.

It is actually mergh and is used as a hashtag (#mergh) on Twitter but could possibly also be an expression of edgy indifference like a pimped version of meh. somewhere between

What??? I don't know what happened to AnnGables in this situation. But I do know what she is dealing with, as most here know we both were. We both bent over backwards to try to understand, accommodate, and be there for a person we cared for deeply. And in return, at least on my end, nothing but either literally nothing (a cold emptiness), or cruel meanness in return. And then nothing....no communications at all...

So to say you don't often give up on the other end ... I don't even know how to take that. You've heard the saying "if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?"....well, in a friendship or any relationship with an aspie.... I want to ask "if there are feelings there that are never expressed, desire for friendship that is never shared, then does it even exist in the first place? Does it matter?" It's like having a million dollars that you bury in your backyard and never dig it up even if you need it....are you rich just because you *have* a million dollars? No, because you aren't using it, there is no benefit to you or anyone else just because you *have* it, and life is no different whether it is buried there or not. And what if someone who cared about you needed just one penny from you and you won't give it to them because you won't dig it up? What's the point in having something buried and hid away?

She hasn't shared what happened, but maybe that's because what happened was actually nothing. Maybe that's the point. I don't know. But it freaking hurts.

None of us know others' reactions before we say something. It's another ’if you meet one aspie' thing I must suppose.

For what it's (seemingly not) worth a bunch of us are on here looking to help.

I can only speak for myself, what I do know is that unilaterally giving up on somebody also hurts, so I avoid that.

Last edited by cberg on 19 Nov 2017, 3:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Thanks for the reply’s . . .. .. . My comment was one off frustration. I try so hard . . .. . .. . And yet as time goes on I feel I get treated less well. I don’t want to talk about it because it always ends in a cycle of some people saying I’m too needy and other people saying he is just an a***hole.

Neither of these are true, but it is so darned difficult. Even having somewhere to talk about it is difficult. If I come here you often find my issues offensive or think I am being unreasonable. If I go to a forum for partners of aspires, then they just say oh there’s no hope walk away . . .. . .

What’s to be done?

You didn't answer the questions.

Yes, aspies are cold heartless robots. You've said it all before. Kindly piss off now, this site is not for you. This is a support site for people with autism, not for NTs to come here and bully us.

Yes the tree is there and does make noise as it falls, no one needs to hear it for it to exist. Things do not only exist if they are being witnessed.

A million dollars is not a real thing, notes are promises of value, they have no value of their own other than as paper. A persons feelings have a value not dependent on someone understanding them, believing they exist, or witnessing physical representations of them ie facial expressions.

I do not know the circumstances of this situation but you have posted here so I assume you want the opinion of Aspies, here is mine, did the Aspie change or are you giving up because you thought that with some time and understanding and gentle guidance they would gradually feel the need to be a friend in the same way that you understand and obviously need? ie become normal.

You sounded like my sister she gave up on me because there was apparently nothing between us. I would have sacrificed my life for her, the relationship that I thought was there apparently wasn't there because I do not look as emotional as others, I do not feel an overwhelming need to say things that have no meaning, therefor I am apparently unlovable.