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IsabellaLinton
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19 Nov 2017, 4:45 pm

I have always felt like I'm adopted / living in the wrong family ... not just the wrong planet. I've seen proof that I am not adopted. I like my parents and I look a lot like my dad but I just don't feel like I fit in, at all.

Is this normal / in line with the "wrong planet" feeling for Aspies?



billegge
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19 Nov 2017, 5:09 pm

I do not feel adopted. I in fact feel like I just popped into this world without parents. I have a brother and don't speak with him, not because of any problem but just because I don't need to. The same with my sister. As for my mother, I only have a deep forever thank you for the way she raised me- or rather, not raised me. She let me be me. She never got in my way, nor tried to give me a way.

I don't have that "family glue" personality trait that most people seem to have.



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19 Nov 2017, 5:15 pm

You reminded me of something. When I was very very young I use to wonder why I was in this body and not another body. If I think about it now, it still makes me wonder. I feel like I am inside a vessel, that "I" am something independent of my body.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Nov 2017, 5:21 pm

billegge wrote:
You reminded me of something. When I was very very young I use to wonder why I was in this body and not another body. If I think about it now, it still makes me wonder. I feel like I am inside a vessel, that "I" am something independent of my body.


Agreed 1000% ! My body feels like some weird, awkward appendage. It's like I'm dragging around a suitcase.

I also feel like I am in the wrong country and that I was supposed to live in England ...but I've never even been there.



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19 Nov 2017, 6:58 pm

When I was growing up, I didn’t know I had Aspergers, I have Cerebral Pasly & Psoriasis, my mom was always there for me, she accepted my Cerebral Pasly, she took me to doctor appointments, she even stayed in the hospital with me. I was so close to my mom, she was the only one that understood me. I found out about my Asperger in my 20s, I was more of a quiet person when I was a kid & a teenager in school, I never made real friends, I talked more to my family. When I became a teenager, I slowly started to feel uncomfortable talking to my whole family, family parties was never really good, my entire family love being together during the holidays, they meet like alot in one month then alot more in December, I don’t want to be very close to my family, when I was living with my mom, ALOT of time, she dragged me to family parties. When I became an adult, my mom let me continue living with her, I lived with her for almost 38 years. She was the only one that understand me, she accepted me, she let me be myself, she didn’t force me to make friends, I was best friends with my cousin when I was a kid. I live on my own now, my mom is in heaven :cry: I really don’t get along with my dad & my sister, my grandmother don’t understand, but I still call her, I don’t talk to her too much anymore. My sister is too controlling (it’s long story) I don’t feel love for her. My dad thinks I have to be nice & loving toward her, cuz she is blood, friends can be like family, my cat is family. I wish I can move. I don’t fit in my family anymore.



billegge
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19 Nov 2017, 7:17 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Agreed 1000% ! My body feels like some weird, awkward appendage. It's like I'm dragging around a suitcase.

I also feel like I am in the wrong country and that I was supposed to live in England ...but I've never even been there.


My mother is German and moved to the United States, I was born in the United States and never traveled outside of it until I was around 30 but I have always felt Germany is my home. I cannot say with any certainty if this is influenced by my mother being German. I grew up with basically a German culture, but my feeling that Germany is/was my home is too deep, its as if I lived there. The feeling is similar to a childhood memory of someplace you went to but can no longer remember clearly, the memory feels like it may have been a dream that somehow stuck with you. Its like remembering a movie but not being able to remember the scenes.

When I was a child I was always interested in science, mostly gravity and to a lesser extent magnetism. When I was 7 years old I was in a dollar store and looked at a compass and just kept turning it and pondering to myself what it was that was keeping the needle pointing in the same direction. There was a force there that I could not feel or disrupt. I felt a deep need to understand it, as if it were my lifes job to find out. I have always admired Einstein. I read that he had the same experience with a compass. Einstein was also interested in gravity. I am bored with sports, I read that Einstein was also bored with sports. There seems to be a lot of similarity between my interests and Einsteins interests, but the peculiar thing is that since the first time I ever heard of Einstein and not even knowing his interests, I had a feeling of familiarity to him. It is also a deep familiarity. If reincarnation were true, it would not surprise me if I was Einstein re-incarnated, in fact it would make sense of my feelings.

On a parallel note, ever meet someone and feel like you have always known them? This is also a feeling of familiarity without explanation. Its interesting as well that time is a charactoristic.



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20 Nov 2017, 5:39 pm

I have never truly felt like I was adopted.

Of course there were occasions as a kid where I felt misunderstood and moaned about having to be adopted (which I don't think is unusual for kids, on par with the sullen "If I dropped dead, then you'd regret it!"), but I always knew better and never seriously thought or felt I was, even back then.


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nick007
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21 Nov 2017, 5:41 am

I felt like that alot as a kid because my parents were very critical of my issues & disabilities & I have no family history of most of those things. Also when my mom got upset at me when I was having an Aspie meltdown she would say how she thought she brought the wrong kid home from the hospital.


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TheSilentOne
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21 Nov 2017, 11:31 am

Most of the people in my family are adopted. I'm not one of them, but sometimes I feel like I could be. I'm not much like my biological family members. I'm more like the adopted ones, oddly.


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EclecticWarrior
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21 Nov 2017, 8:32 pm

Definitely. I was born into an average-IQ, non-university educated family who share very few interests with me.


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EzraS
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22 Nov 2017, 3:20 am

I have a good family but I feel like some basket case they decided to adopt and take care of. Almost like I was the high maintenance family pet. They even take me out for a walk every day lol.



Transyl
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28 Dec 2017, 8:58 pm

People tend to like my parents. My dad in particular can do very good socializing even with complete strangers. So if I didn't look like my parents I doubt anyone would think I was their kid.



goldfish21
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29 Dec 2017, 5:27 pm

I had that feeling for a little while as a younger child. I also felt as if I'd been lied to about my true age for a while, too. I was bigger and stronger than most others my age, and based on my vocabulary and communications along with my appearance many assumed I was older than I was and often told me so. Eventually I began to question if I was adopted and assigned a birthdate due to not knowing what mine was. I think that was around the time I was maybe 8-10 years old-ish. It passed. I've long since realized and accepted I am in fact biologically a part of my family and I am in fact the age I am. I think it's just an AS thing for some of us.. a coping mechanism to help explain why we feel so different.


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29 Dec 2017, 6:06 pm

No. I fit in with my family pretty well, and suspect my dad in particular is an undiagnosed Aspie. The family is rife with neurodivergency - one brother with ADD, one bipolar. Mom and little sister are the only ones I'd call NT, and they're both very strongly supportive.


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lostonearth35
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25 Feb 2018, 8:12 am

I'm too genetically similar to my parents to be adopted. But sometimes I feel like I was sent to Earth to be reborn to human parents for some strange reason. Maybe my home planet was coming to an end or something. :alien:



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25 Feb 2018, 11:22 am

I always felt that I was the only one in my family who never really became anything. Everybody I knew seemed to grow up to become something except for me. Otherwise, I always felt loved and wanted. I always felt like the dumb one in terms of life experience.