First date HELP!

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So, I’m going out on a first date with this guy (he’s NT) later this week. We started talking on reddit and text basically every day or so. I’m very good at hiding the fact that I have aspergers (not that that’s anything that needs to be hidden) so I guess I’m just looking more for advice on my million different fears going into this. I can be kind of shy at first and he also mentioned he can be shy as well. So I’m concerned about conversation, what if it doesn’t flow/awkwardness/etc? Another concern I have is that he won’t find me attractive in person. He follows me on Instagram, so I’m assuming he finds me attractive, but I always wonder what if he thinks I’m ugly, fat etc... Another thing that I’m uncomfortable with is eating in front of people I don’t know especially on a date a million different things cross my mind, what do I order, what if he thinks I eat weird? I know some of these fears sound silly but it’s all I can think about. I guess my real fear is of rejection and I really like talking to him and am afraid he won’t want to see me again after meeting me in person. Any advice on this would be great!

Is he liking your IG posts that are photos of you?
If yes, then you have nothing to worry about he won't reject you on looks.

If you are worried about personality, I think you've been talking enough to have arranged the date. Again, nothing to worry about here.

As far as the restaurant side goes if you know where you're gonna eat research the menu ASAP via their website, or asking on Facebook if a place is any good and what's a top dish. Put the feelers out there. If you go in prepared you will feel more confident. So it's worth thinking about the things that might make you anxious now so you can fix that and go into the date ready and that will allow you to focus on the guy more than the date itself.

I haven’t posted anything new on IG since he started following me, so I wouldn’t expect him to go back to old posts and start liking them. I’m assuming he’s looked through my photos though, at least I hope.

I think we have enough in common to be able to carry on a conversation although I am still nervous. Sometimes we both can’t think of anything to talk about while texting, I guess there’s only so much you can learn about someone through text until you meet them in person. He did tell me that he can be shy at first as well, so I think that maybe translates into some his texts ie. not knowing what to say.

I am 48 male, I cannot help but smile while reading this. I have gone through all these things you mentioned. I do not have any advice, just experience maybe you can pull something from.

When I have met someone truly right for me, the conversation can just happen by itself. When that happens, there is no trying to figure out what to say. You and the other person are just passing the ball back and forth. This does not always happen, when I dated my wife there were times that I "locked up" and simply could not think of a thing to say while she looked at me waiting and the longer the time past the more I started to panic inside. It was a spiral to the death. Luckily I think she bailed me out. Moments like that are the worst. Yet, she is my wife today despite not knowing what to say sometimes.

I tried internet dating, usually the person I finally meet is not what I imagined them to be and interest quickly turns into a "now what am I going to do for the next hour with a person I have zero interest in". For example try this, look up a movie star that is attractive (a female) and then find one of those no makup pictures of them. Thats what its like. You meet the person with no makup, not the one with makeup.


One odd thing that has happened is that it seems the more I worry about something, the better it turns out.

I'll say this. I have had more bad dates than good ones.