I wonder if i have Asperger's

Post Reply New Topic

Hey

Lets start off by saying that im 15 years old. When i learned about asperger's syndrome half year ago i suddenly realise i might have it. Im not really sure if i should contact psychiatrist specialized in autism or not, thats why i'd like to hear your opinion.

As a little kid, i was pretty social. I had 2/3 friends at kindergarten and i don't think i really had any problems with social interactions. It changed without specific reason in grade school. I still talked to other kids but i preferred being alone. In middle school i didn't talked to anyone, i was the kid who would usually sit at the corner and read the news from the world (i also had diagnosed depression for one year). Thats when i started to feeling weird about myself and others. I started to feel like i was born on the wrong planet. I always felt like im somewhat different. I was never bullied though. I feel like people usually like me (I started watching my environment and realised that there are things that makes other people trust you, like you, etc.) although i don't really like them that much. Now im in highschool and i feel like my social skills are getting better from year to year. Im still a kid who's sitting alone reading a book but people often come to me and starts talking (its usually something like ''you look sad, is anything alright? When in fact i feel just fine). Im still very anxious when it comes to social interactions. Im so awkward sometimes and it can be irritating.

I have 3 special interests and i always had some. As a kid i was obsessed with snails and stackers. I would talk all day about them sometimes. The main issue with it, is that i can't get interested in other things. No matter how hard i try, i can't learn math because im so uninterested in it its just ridiculous. I usually end up learning about english accents instead of doing my homework and the middle of the night.

Many people tell me my voice is fascinating and great to listen so i guess it isn't monotonous or something (it might be because i used to watch a lot of lectures and was trying to talk like people who we're talking there). What's interesting about my speech is that im always unduly formal (english isn't my first language by the way), i don't know why, its just who i am i guess.

Im usually the last to get the point of joke and im usually the one who doesn't get the methaphor (its not always the case). I love sarcasm though. I can use it properly and get other's people sarcasm. The same thing with humour, many people told me that im really funny.

My behavior is indeed repetitive. I can't go to sleep before 00:00 and i always do my homework at evening.
I almost plan everything, little chat with my colleague, my walks and so on. Im so annoyed when i can't go along with my plan. By the way i don't feel empathy, and paradoxically it really hurts me inside. I want to feel it but i just can't be sorry about my friend crying or something like that.

I don't think i have meltdowns, shutdowns or sensory overload. I remember having them all when i was a kid. Sometimes sounds were so loud and my view so dizzy that i had to close my eyes and cover my ears but i don't get these anymore. Oh and im also extremely sensitive to water, i hate it. And i don't like touch.

I told my school psychologist i think i might have asperser's but she told me that i probably dont have it. But she told me to contact specialized in it because shes not an expert. And here I am, wondering if I should do it. If there's any sense in doing so. I do not hide the fact that I'am a little bit scared about talking with the psychiatrist. I feel like her reaction might be similar to the psychologist. And i just want to be sure if I have Asperger's because it has explained a lot in my life. What bother me is that as a kid I wasn't that autistic as I am now. I dunno, whats your opinion on this?

Are these "traits" impairing your life in meaningful ways? If they are you need to find the cause be it autism or something else so it can be dealt with.

A diagnosis by a professional makes you eligible for supports and accommodations.

Based on what you describe, I'd say it's a possibility, but I also would say it doesn't absolutely scream Asperger's - so my non-psycologist conclusion? I have no idea!

Have you tried any of the online tests? The one that I tried first was the AQ (Autism Quotient) test. Here it is: https://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

Note that the test isn't an assessment; it just lets you know if you have traits that people on the spectrum typically have. It's entirely possible to have these traits but not be on the spectrum, and it's also possible to not have these traits but still be on the spectrum.

I don't think there's any harm in going to the psychologist, but I'd suggest you start out talking about whether you should get a diagnosis first - don't go in there having pre-determined that you will get a diagnosis.

One reason that you might want a diagnosis is that it's easier to get the assessment when you're younger than when you're older. I live in a city of about 2.5 million people, and I think there's about 3 psychologists who will do assessments for adults, but I think the number is much higher for kids and teens.

BTW, I don't have any serious sensory issues (some minor things like being annoyed by tags on clothing), and I've never had anything that I can decisively call a meltdown or a shutdown. And I do have an assessment.

Yeah, those things definitely affect my life. I just want to know if its caused by something or it is just who I am

I took the tests few days ago, i just for forgot to include this above

AQ Test - 33
The Aspie-quiz one - 136 neurodiverse 72 neurotypical

Oh, and i have one more question. What can i expect from the psychiatrist? How does diagnosing people at my age look like?

You have some traits but I don't think there is enough of them to get an ASD diagnosis. You seem to be within the Broad Autism Phenotype but not autistic. For me it sounds more like social phobia or some kind of personality disorder.
Being introvert doesn't equal to having Asperger nor being anxious in social situations does (I am an aspie but I am on the extrovertic side and I don't really have social phobia, I just suck in social situations but fail to realize it till I unintentionally make some enemies and I have sensory issues).
Also planning and routine is related to pretty much any anxiety related disorder, not just autism.
And all kids experience overloads and meltdowns before they are mature enough to control their mind and body.
And as for your math example - maybe you have dyscalculia? From my experience math isn't something you need to "get interested in". You either get math or not and once you get it the homework is no different than homework of any other subject, a chore unless you happen to love math. You don't need to be interested in it to do it. You just do it because you have to do it - if you don't there will be consequences so you do it because it just takes 10-20 minutes and the time wasted isn't worth the consequences of not bringing the homework. Unless you are speaking about learning math for hours so you can get straight A's, without having a gift for it. But it's too much work if you ask me - I would be OK with a B or C if I needed to spend hours on a subject I don't like and I wouldn't think twice on it, unless I wanted to have high overall grade that badly and if that was the case I would do it unless it was a History (a subject that was my "math", utterly boring, I just couldn't get it no matter how much I tried because I couldn't comprehend the politics and relationships that were a huge part of it, I still can't - I think it is related to my prosopagnosia somehow, I can't remember people faces or names and it's difficult for me to remember any facts about specific people and their relationships with other people and history lessons were mostly about specific humans in the past and their relationships).