Women and autism TEDx talk

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Oops, seem to have posted this under the wrong section!!

Hey everyone! It has been quite a while since I have been here, but I simply had to share this with an appropriate audience to get your feedback!



I recently had the honour of giving a TEDx talk in Münster this year. I felt that being honest about certain things would be therapeutic for me, and it was! However, I want to hear from other people - both men and women - what do you think about the talk and what I said? Unfortunately, I fear that neurotypical feedback will be largely superficial, so I want to know if you agree or disagree with what I said.

Having new perspectives on this will be fantastic

This is great.

I've recently received my diagnosis, and am going to share this with some people I am sharing my news with.

Thank you for your advocacy.

I really enjoyed this. You spoke on stage very well, and I think you really showed people what it is really like to have autism. I have seen many TED talks before, especially on autism, but this one is my favorite. Thank you for representing our community !

StampySquiddyFan

I agree with what you said about feeling un-lovable. That was right on.

Also, you're a terrific public speaker.

Thank you all for your lovely comments - I was quite worried that I might have made life challenging by saying things in a way that was specific to me, but if I was able to help at all, I'm thrilled. Especially since I know many of you are also dependent on virtual technology for your support systems (I can't imagine how people on the spectrum survived without the Internet!).
Really feeling at ease to hear this from people who understand this from an insiders perspective... it can be exhausting and frustrating to be alive some days, and life can feel so lonely, but moments like this and comments like these make it all worth it. Thank you <3

It resonated with me

I very much enjoyed your talk, I found it most engaging

The bit that particularly gave me "the feels" was when you said that autistic women are likely to associate a normally pleasant thing such as relationships with trauma. That's certainly the case with me, I'd definitely consider myself traumatised by past experiences, to the point where it made me feel like I was only worthy of being used and manipulated, rather than loved and respected.

Hopefully more autistic women will see this talk and start to feel more at ease asking for what they need from other people.

I’ve never even been in a relationship, but what you said still resonated with me, and I could relate to it well.

Good to see you again, Sarai!

Even as a male, I can relate to your (very well presented) speech. I like how you said how both the 'blacks' and 'whites' both made fun of you. It's the same with me growing up, just substitute the words 'nerds' and 'jocks'. One thing that really stuck out was how the crowd clearly had difficulty relating to you, even if they were sincerely trying to "bridge the gap", specifically that girl with the red hair. I think that sums up ASDs better than anything. I like how you put it

it's embarrassing to suck so bad at something that everyone around you thinks is so natural.

That is a VERY good summary of how I felt in my late teens and 20s! Like you, I think my issue is that people associate Aspies with Star Trek loving, glasses-wearing nerdy men like my brother and I don't look nerdy at all. Great summary of female Aspergers and I bet my wife could relate to much of it even if she will never admit it out loud.

Can totally relate to this. Recently after five dates with a new partner they announced we were going to spend every weekend together without asking me if I'd actually like that. My anxiety went through the roof as although I enjoyed meeting once a week that was more than enough for me. When I tried to slow things down I was told that nobody would accept a relationship on my terms and that I over-complicated the relationship by wanting everything on my terms. I actually really liked the person but could not cope with all the expectations and ended it all.

This is pretty much the case with my every attempt at dating and relieved to hear other people have similar experiences. Relationship milestones for autistic people definitely take longer.