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I cannot feel offended

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Can you feel offended
Yes 79%  79%  [ 23 ]
No 21%  21%  [ 6 ]
Total votes : 29

billegge
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23 Nov 2017, 7:16 pm

A lot of people say they are offended about something, or worry that they may offend someone. For me, I don't think I can feel offended.

If someone says something true about me then I will either feel happy that I learned something new or maybe I will feel embarrassed from an oversight on my part.

If someone says something about me that is not true, then I do not take it personally. Instead I may wonder why they said what they did.

At no time do I feel offended. I do not see how I could even feel offended.

Can you feel offended? Why or why not?

:?



ASPartOfMe
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23 Nov 2017, 7:33 pm

While I believe people are too easily offended these days I do believe there are offensive things said and done. If a person says they want to kill me or the "group" I belong to is evil I can feel offended.


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23 Nov 2017, 8:18 pm

I'm not really sure what it means to "feel offended".

I definitely have a thin skin, and don't take criticism very well. I can get quite depressed if I get too much criticism at the same time. But at the same time, if I'm doing something that's wrong, I'd rather have someone let me know than let me keep doing it wrong.

Is not taking criticism well the same thing as feeling offended?


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bunnyb
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23 Nov 2017, 8:33 pm

I get offended that governments spend billion of dollars on weapons and wars while people are homeless and hungry and then they have the termerity to say they are doing it make the world a safe place. No, they doing it to make money.


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billegge
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23 Nov 2017, 8:41 pm

SplendidSnail wrote:
Is not taking criticism well the same thing as feeling offended?


I don't think so. How you take criticism is personal and introspective, you forget that another person stated it and focus on the criticism itself. While feeling offended seems to mean that the offender has no right to offend you, your focus is on the other person and you essentially wanting to shut them up. I am not thinking too clearly, so I could be wrong.



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23 Nov 2017, 8:58 pm

As far as a reaction like: "how dare you say that to me!". I don't react that way that I know of.



lazyflower
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23 Nov 2017, 9:00 pm

You're lucky. I have a tendency to take everything way too personally and end up feeling offended by things I really shouldn't.



billegge
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23 Nov 2017, 9:08 pm

lazyflower wrote:
You're lucky. I have a tendency to take everything way too personally and end up feeling offended by things I really shouldn't.


Maybe offended is not what you feel. I need to think more about what the meaning of offended is, but it does not seem to relate to the actual thing that was said but is a social rule of some kind.



billegge
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23 Nov 2017, 9:20 pm

bunnyb wrote:
I get offended that governments spend billion of dollars on weapons and wars while people are homeless and hungry and then they have the termerity to say they are doing it make the world a safe place. No, they doing it to make money.


This is interesting. Its interesting because no one said any kind of criticism towards you directly. Other members comment about being criticized. What you describe seems like the concept of offended is one of justice.

I would like to see more examples of what people regard as offensive or being offended.

Btw - I feel this is important, a lack of clear definitions and meanings can drive the world into chaos. Politicians can control people via their ignorance and lack of critical thinking. They can use words to mean anything they want.



SplendidSnail
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23 Nov 2017, 9:34 pm

billegge wrote:
SplendidSnail wrote:
Is not taking criticism well the same thing as feeling offended?


I don't think so. How you take criticism is personal and introspective, you forget that another person stated it and focus on the criticism itself. While feeling offended seems to mean that the offender has no right to offend you, your focus is on the other person and you essentially wanting to shut them up. I am not thinking too clearly, so I could be wrong.

Hmm. How about when someone says something that's not intended to be constructive at all? Something that's outright intended to be insulting. If that's bothersome, is that being offended?


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Trogluddite
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23 Nov 2017, 9:55 pm

I see it like this...

Offended: You have broken a moral code in which I believe such that I feel the need to defend myself. The "defending" may not actually happen sometimes if I want to avoid a fight, of course. It's probably pretty universal that one of those moral codes is; "you should not attack me without provocation"!

Criticised: You commented on my performance in some way (usually negative, but not always.) If I feel that your negative criticism is undeserved, I might also feel offended, because it breaks the moral code that you should not attack me without provocation.


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billegge
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23 Nov 2017, 10:09 pm

Trogluddite wrote:
I see it like this...

Offended: You have broken a moral code in which I believe such that I feel the need to defend myself. The "defending" may not actually happen sometimes if I want to avoid a fight, of course. It's probably pretty universal that one of those moral codes is; "you should not attack me without provocation"!

Criticised: You commented on my performance in some way (usually negative, but not always.) If I feel that your negative criticism is undeserved, I might also feel offended, because it breaks the moral code that you should not attack me without provocation.


Interesting point "provocation". I decided the way I can figure this out is through analysis of cases of "being offended". I created a new thread in the philosophy section to try and get data.



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23 Nov 2017, 10:16 pm

Quote:
Interesting point "provocation"

Indeed, that's the tricky bit, because we can never know for sure what someone else would consider provocative (or they us.) If we don't know that something we did broke one of their moral codes, then, to us, it seems that they are attacking rather than defending - and then it all gets very complicated!


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23 Nov 2017, 10:57 pm

billegge wrote:
bunnyb wrote:
I get offended that governments spend billion of dollars on weapons and wars while people are homeless and hungry and then they have the termerity to say they are doing it make the world a safe place. No, they doing it to make money.


This is interesting. Its interesting because no one said any kind of criticism towards you directly. Other members comment about being criticized. What you describe seems like the concept of offended is one of justice.

I would like to see more examples of what people regard as offensive or being offended.

Btw - I feel this is important, a lack of clear definitions and meanings can drive the world into chaos. Politicians can control people via their ignorance and lack of critical thinking. They can use words to mean anything they want.


I wasn't suggesting anyone was criticising me. The question was can you feel offended and my answer was yes. I feel offended by things that I perceive as unjust. That's just how I roll.


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23 Nov 2017, 11:17 pm

Yes, I can feel offended.
Although things that I find offensive have changed over time, as have my reactions. It really takes quite a bit now.



billegge
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23 Nov 2017, 11:19 pm

bunnyb wrote:
I wasn't suggesting anyone was criticising me. The question was can you feel offended and my answer was yes. I feel offended by things that I perceive as unjust. That's just how I roll.


It seems like your saying what I said.

billegge wrote:
This is interesting. Its interesting because no one said any kind of criticism towards you directly. Other members comment about being criticized. What you describe seems like the concept of offended is one of justice.


When I said directly, I mean that your ideas are indirectly criticized.