Would you move away from your sensory coping situation?

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 


Would you move?
yes 57%  57%  [ 4 ]
no 14%  14%  [ 1 ]
other 29%  29%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 7

starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

23 Nov 2017, 10:11 pm

I moved to a very small and isolated town partially so that I wouldn't be bombarded with the noise of larger cities. I can't rely on ear defenders/earplugs/music because I would have to wear them for too much of the day (which would hurt my ears and give me a headache). I only have one neighbor, so that eliminates noise I would hear through the walls.

Now my problem is that it's impossible to have much of a life here. I don't own, don't want, and can't afford a car, and public transportation is not very good. This town is basically a retirement community, so not only are there few people, most of them are elderly. There is no where to just hang out and meet people and very few activities for single adults.

Lack of social life is the biggest problem, but there are also no jobs here so I really struggle when my online work dries up.

So what would you do for a social life in my position? If I move I will probably have more neighbors. I have a housing voucher so the places I can rent are limited. The sound of traffic will tire me out every time I go out.

I've tried online dating and couldn't meet the person because my local bus doesn't run after she gets out of work. I don't want to be on social media because Facebook can't be trusted and that's not a good way to meet people in person anyway. I don't want a lot of friends, just to date and maybe go to one activity per week.



SplendidSnail
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 887
Location: Canada

23 Nov 2017, 10:25 pm

I don't really have serious sensory issues that could fall into this category - mine tend to be more things like being bothered by tags on clothing, which isn't serious and isn't really impacted by where I live.

That said, I do have bad dust allergies, and if I moved into a place and realised the next day that the dust was awful, there is no way that I'd continue to live there very long. Seems pretty similar to me.

If you can't stand where you live, whatever the reason, you should move.


_________________
Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder / Asperger's Syndrome.


starkid
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,812
Location: California Bay Area

23 Nov 2017, 10:51 pm

SplendidSnail wrote:
If you can't stand where you live, whatever the reason, you should move.

I like it here.



SplendidSnail
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2017
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 887
Location: Canada

23 Nov 2017, 11:12 pm

starkid wrote:
I like it here.

That's a real tough one then. In my allergy example, I would be able to just move to another apartment in the same neighbourhood and hopefully be better off. But in your case, the only way to get away from the sensory issues would be to completely leave the area, where you like.

I guess one just has to decide whether the good parts of where one lives are enough to warrant putting up with the bad.
:(


_________________
Level 1 Autism Spectrum Disorder / Asperger's Syndrome.


Parterak
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Oct 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: US

23 Nov 2017, 11:27 pm

You seem to be at odds.

Moving away from all the things is avoidance at a huge cost, conflicting with the other needs you feel, like limited social interaction.

A tough situation given your position.

A happy middle ground is what I have come to enjoy, the town I live in now has a greater metro population of about 1.5 million, but the city is quite spread out and the option to live in a suburb works well. I am still within about 25 minutes of each extent of the cities outer limits before country(farm) land takes over so have many options for social interactions.

The street I am on has little traffic, and the greatest noise generation is the Air Force Base. Something I've dealt with all my life so have become quite accustomed, plus they rotate which runways they use so its not a constant daily event when the windows shake from the flyovers.

Wish I could be of more help with the social life question. It is the main reason people would send their kids away to college from their farm town back in the day and why so many people congregate in cities this day.

Social interactions in small towns tend to get dramatic or are non-existent so people migrate to the college towns and big cities to meet people, get married have kids and have more opportunities(plethora of jobs, clubs, bars, theatres, gaming establishments, and whatever flavors of religion you can think of).



elbowgrease
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Aug 2017
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,505
Location: Arcata,CA

23 Nov 2017, 11:30 pm

I said yes because I've been in a similar situation and moved. Several times. Although not so much sensory as other reasons.
One of them was a place I really like, and really wanted it to work out.



xatrix26
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2017
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 614
Location: Canada

24 Nov 2017, 12:42 am

starkid wrote:
I moved to a very small and isolated town partially so that I wouldn't be bombarded with the noise of larger cities. I can't rely on ear defenders/earplugs/music because I would have to wear them for too much of the day (which would hurt my ears and give me a headache). I only have one neighbor, so that eliminates noise I would hear through the walls.

Now my problem is that it's impossible to have much of a life here. I don't own, don't want, and can't afford a car, and public transportation is not very good. This town is basically a retirement community, so not only are there few people, most of them are elderly. There is no where to just hang out and meet people and very few activities for single adults.

Lack of social life is the biggest problem, but there are also no jobs here so I really struggle when my online work dries up.

So what would you do for a social life in my position? If I move I will probably have more neighbors. I have a housing voucher so the places I can rent are limited. The sound of traffic will tire me out every time I go out.

I've tried online dating and couldn't meet the person because my local bus doesn't run after she gets out of work. I don't want to be on social media because Facebook can't be trusted and that's not a good way to meet people in person anyway. I don't want a lot of friends, just to date and maybe go to one activity per week.


You're definitely on to something here! This would be my ideal situation to move to a smaller and more secluded town nestled in the Rocky Mountains in Canada but money is a major issue for me. Staying employed long enough to build up a savings to do this is virtually impossible at this point as I have a great deal of debt from college to pay back first.

All of the overstimulation issues you mentioned above are major issues for me as well as they are native to the big city and the city I live in right now has 1.25 million people in it. That's what I call overstimulation hell.

But as far as not having a life that's not something I'm terribly concerned about it as long as I have my dog and my computer and a nice quiet place to live I would be happy. And ideally - disability benefits, a therapist, a psychiatrist, a social worker, an Autism support dog, a community mental health center, and an understanding small town community. But perhaps all of that is simply pie-in-the-sky stuff. I'm sure we would all like to have those things.

*sigh*


_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away. ;)