How do you decide on a career?

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Can't remember if I've posted this before - but I've been doing some career research, mostly to decide on a "direction" (as much as I hate that term in relation to career) for further study.
Because I've had so many false starts. I went to university absolutely convinced I was on the right track and then at internship everything crashed and burned pretty spectacularly. It was obviously the wrong "direction."
Since, I've been looking into different areas - talking to tertiary career advisors, taking short courses, doing some research online about the job descriptions and duties of positions that interest me (and inevitably coming to the conclusion that many jobs that look promising on the surface would actually be a nightmare to work) thinking about my interests and what is important or has meaning for me, and trying out several casual jobs in different fields.
There's lots of advice out there both for and against certain strategies - some people will advise you go with your "passions," others believe this is an unrealistic approach, since very few people are likely to be working in their absolute dream job and if you're holding out for that, you'll never be satisfied with any other work.
I even got on this career analysis site which asks a whole series of questions and then suggests jobs you might be interested in pursuing.
What do you all think about the best way to pursue this direction? How do you narrow down what jobs are right for you, and how to get there? (don't even get me started on the ridiculous "three years previous experience in similar role" required for absolutely everything). How do you test these things out? How exactly are you supposed to figure out what the hell you should be doing?
I just have no idea.

I had the aptitude and background to be a Scientist three decades ago, but concluded that the job prospects were extremely poor. So I became an Engineer. I think I guessed right. Do you know how to search for Scientists on POF? It isn't a job category like "engineer."

I am at a crossroads in my life, so this is of great interest to me.

I had a nice big answer typed out for you, but then I re-read the question and I went off topic.

It certainly does seem that many career choices seem fascinating on the surface, but then the reality hits and they don't seem nearly appealing.

The question may really be asking what interests you have and what are you willing to do in order to work in that field?


FF

That's a difficult one.
Only you know your strengths, weaknesses, interests, passions, goals...
And some of the advice that goes with that is practically useless.

When I turned thirty, and realized I might live longer than I thought, I started trying to put together a plan to take care of myself for the rest of my life. Basic idea was/is to get a number of small businesses built up over the next decade, that eventually won't require much input from me in order to operate and should supply enough income that I can live comfortably. I'm not into business, but I learned a lot about how to do it when I was younger.
I was actually a few weeks away from initiating the first part of that plan when I crashed and burned over a serious social blunder. But I'm still convinced that it's a pretty reasonable idea. There's even a guy here in my town that started the same type of business shortly after I didn't.
Anyway, part of why this was my basic plan is that nothing I'm interested in, good at, or passionate about is likely to ever earn me a living, but I can't live without it.

And I'm guessing that probably doesn't help.

I just saw someone today who specialises in these questions. They said a combination of interests and career prospects is a good way to prioritize. I suspect considering only one of these things is a bad idea.

I wonder if Alexithymia makes choosing more difficult. I think I have it, would explain a lot, and I have a hard time making good decisions. I understand that you have it really bad.

That's an interesting idea - identify what areas you are interested in, then segue into reality a bit to find something related but more likely to secure employment in the real world.

Commiserations on the crossroads. Me too. I think that was partially what happened with my infamous internship - I had invested a LOT in that field, and they sold it for all it was worth - that is was a career not just a job, there was a strong meaningful element behind it and you would be making a difference to people in a real way, etc. I managed the demanding university program ok. But when I started working, it was drastically disappointing. It turned out to be mostly menial, and the coworkers were shites.
Since then I have considered several areas, but have realized they likely aren't suitable. The autism was one of the reasons I couldn't function in the internship and now I'm very wary about how I can or cannot function in an autistic sense in any career I consider. I literally can't afford to make another bad decision, student-loan wise. I am willing to do almost anything, as I proved with the aforementioned university program as it was a fast-track situation in the middle of nowhere - but with other jobs I have looked into, it's more a question of what institutions will allow me to do, what they will accept, and what I can afford financially.

Weirdly, I'm not sure anymore of these things. Many of the situations I thought I could cope with I obviously couldn't, and just didn't have the self-awareness to realize that. What I thought was important to me in an idealistic sense tends not to be so anymore. But yeah, job advice IS pretty generic and useless. Your business idea seems interesting, but I know I wouldn't be able to do that kind of thing for example because of the logistics involved - I am not good at dealing with people, I dislike always having people and things at me and pressuring me and I'm not interested in being "in charge" because of the pestering and the people skills needed.

I'm considering seeing a professional career counselor, but damn do they charge a lot for services. And I'm unsure if they will be of any more real, practical help than anyone else I have asked - I'm beginning to think I need actual assistance, someone working on my behalf, rather than just vague advice that counselors give. I talked to the career and courses advice counselor at the adult education place where I just finished a course and that hardly told me anything I didn't already know to be ineffectual, and the disability employment job office is less than useless. All they do is dob on me to welfare.
I did consider the process of A) Decide on general areas of interest B) Look into possible jobs in that sector that interest me and research job descriptions and duties C) Run a job search for available positions, contact organizations and ask after the prerequisites that they require of their employees D) Act on that information to get into any training or educational courses I need, enquire as to traineeships to do a mixture of on-the-job training and external education, etc etc.
The fact that I have turned up nothing hasn't been through a lack of trying. But maybe it's going about it the wrong way? I don't know.
As for alexithymia, there seem to be a few common pitfalls, such as considering only a logical sequence of facts - does this course have a likely chance of employment at the end, is the duration and costs possible considering finances and locations, etc. I can never seem to consider anything of an emotional nature, or predict how this will affect the success rate of the plan. Ideas like will I hate it and loathe going to work, can I deal with other people and the fact that inevitably my coworkers will dislike me, will I feel like a fool doing this and be humiliated by being seen doing it, etc. That can really screw up a perfectly logical idea. And I have no way to preempt those things. It does make me hesitant to jump into an idea, as I'm aware that I've probably neglected to consider those things at all. I can easily make decisions based on facts - unfortunately, facts are never all that's involved in anything.

You picked a real humdinger of a question. There are people who've been working for decades who still haven't decided on a career.

Yes, I ran into the exact same alexithymia problem yesterday. I'm capable of turning up a perfectly logical argument for why I ought to pursue a certain course of action, which people are overly impressed by, ignoring the 'soft' questions that are actually the most important of all, i.e. will I be able to continue doing the thing I start, which is emotion based.

I recently watched an old interview with Steve Jobs where he was pointing out that if you want to start a business it's important to love what you do, otherwise you will give up when it gets difficult, because that is what sane people do. I've heard the do what you love/love what you do quote before, but people seem to have missed the last part of his statement. So how do you find something to do that you love so much that it will cancel out the negative stuff?

I don't believe a career counselor will help you, because they specialise in the logical part of this equation. I doubt they can help you identify your feelings. As for practical career advice, better talk to someone who's in the field you're thinking about entering. They have up to date practical advice.

Have you thought about seeing a work psychologist? Watch these 'Employable Me' episodes, see if you find them interesting:

Autism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps8rNcGw1vM

Aspergers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-Ev3ignpYE

When I had to decide on a career, my options were very limited because of my physical disability. It wasn't about what I wanted to do at any point, but about what I could do.

Do you have any serious disabilities (other than things like social clumsiness and the like that are caused by autism) that will automatically cut off some choices? If you do, then I suggest making a list of those at first so you'll know what paths are completely out of the question.

At the OP,
Have you ever considered writing? Even just editing, proofreading, copywriting, anything like that. Maybe as something just to get by with while you sort things out.
I think you're a really good writer, your posts seem well thought, planned, and articulated. You have a strong vocabulary, you have a good mind. I've seen loads of gibberish in international print being passed off as adequate English but you write better than that.
I've thought about doing it myself, I can actually write pretty well sometimes. Found a website that seemed to be legitimate and just really never got started. And I'm sure there are plenty of other possible options.
Just an idea I had. Thought I'd say something.

This. My father has worked at his same trade for 44 years (maybe retiring now due to health reasons, but he may still go back to work) and still says he doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up lol but he just goes to work and does his thing (well) to earn a living for himself and his family.

Some people are lucky in that they KNOW what they want to do, others never decide but just do one thing, or many, anyways.

I've pretty much just bumbled along and gotten jobs through friends, or applying, whenever I needed them without a clear direction I truly wanted to head in.. just things I wanted to try or was interested in doing at the moment, or just any old job because I needed money.

Now at 35 I have a better idea of what I'd like to do if I can manage to get into it (academically speaking) so it'll keep me focused on learning and doing the trade I started apprenticing this past Summer, as the income from that may very well fund my next academic education over the years to come. And if not, well whatever, I'll at least be progressing towards a better income from an in demand construction trade, anyways.

On that note, I've been in construction on and off for years. I have a certain respect for it because of what my father does. I never could pick ONE trade I wanted to specialize in & only went this route because my father is the President of the local union and told me which trade they had demand for and suggested I shift gears and start an apprenticeship in it, so, I did, and it's working out fine. I have a lot to learn and especially speed to gain.. but the quality of my finished work is better after a few months experience than many peoples' after a few years, so I know I can do this job. I just need to learn all aspects of it and get faster and faster at it.. then there's decent money to be made, especially in side jobs/contracting. A skilled trade that will pay me $40-60+/hr is a far superior way to fund another education than a lower paying job or student loans.

^ I thought demolition specialist would be awesome in construction circles. Hard to get into though.

That's kind of you to note. I have looked into it - there is a nice woman on here somewhere who does transcribing work and thought that could be interesting as it doesn't require speaking, but that too is tricky - jobs pay practically nothing for hours work and it's difficult to find a legitimate company. Unfortunately, writing is one of those nebulous jobs, where it's difficult to get into and difficult to find ongoing work. And you run into the same problems - they expect you to have at least a bachelor's degree, preferably a masters, in a writing-related field before they will even accept you for internship somewhere. It really is an unrealistic expectation I think.
But I do like writing, and it's something to keep testing out opportunities in for sure. Maybe I've just got too cynical and start thinking "that'll never fly, they're making it impossible."

It might be difficult to get into a specialized role that requires blasting & explosives expertise, but in terms of regular demolition it's about the EASIEST job to get because it's hard dirty work that often requires suiting up in a hazmat suit/mask, showering on your way in and out of a sealed off site (asbestos removal) etc so companies that do that are ALWAYS hiring and if you're able bodied and willing to show up and work you'll have more work than you could ever want. It's an undesirable job so tends to attract those who can't make a go of other jobs due to mental afflictions, inability to work well with others, alcohol/drug addiction/substance abuse issues, language barriers if they're a newcomer to our economy etc.

But if you want to be the guy who places explosive charges to bring down stadiums and such, then yeah, I can see how that might be a more competitive job to get. Somewhere in the middle would be for heavy equipment operators using backhoes and bulldozers etc. But for plain 'ol demolition? If you can swing a hammer you're hired, pretty much.

I found the 80000 hours career guide to be very helpful. I'm often skeptic about this kind of online attempts at career guidance, but they have a very systematic, clear guide that takes into account your different priorities (job satisfaction, finances, social impact, etc.) and helps you balance them out. I've always had too many interests, and found it hard to choose and focus, so being able to put them into a spreadsheet and determine priorities and rankings was very helpful, and continues to be helpful whenever I want to look back and reanalyze.

You can always try new things out and see how you like them.

I never thought I'd be into dealing with raw meat, and I definitely didn't think I'd enjoy it, but for a long time, starting like 10 years ago, I would work in the fishing industry during summers. What I would do, would be to be on land and just cut up and vacuum pack the fish when charter boats would come in, working for whichever charter company. It actually paid really well hourly, and on top of that I would make a certain amount of money per pound of flesh, depending on the species and its dollar-per-pound cost, I'd get free fish all the time, and generous tipping was very common, especially if you cut the fish up really fast. Most of the fish were halibut, but there were also clam days and we had a sprinkling of all the fish that are legal to catch in the area.

It did involve 18 hour days sometimes, doing extremely monotonous tasks, but I actually didn't mind the job at all. I did hate clam days, but they generated a lot of income, like $500-700+ in a single day. A lot of the people who work in the fishing industry make enough in a summer, that they can go the rest of the year without working. I did it most summers while I was in university. Not exactly a "career" in the traditional sense, but it is something I could have done and might get back into despite having much higher qualifications than I used to, and a lot of experience working in education.

I guess this is just a really wordy way to say: try new things if you're not sure what you want to do. You might be surprised what you wind up liking.