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Balbituate
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03 Dec 2017, 3:29 pm

I'm very worried about this. The LGBT dating pool is tiny enough. There probably isn't a lot of girls who'll date me because of the way I am. I know there's a lot of straight guys into me because they like to feel dominant. Guys tend to feel dominant over weird girls. They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.



thewheel
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03 Dec 2017, 8:14 pm

Balbituate wrote:
They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.


Not all lesbians are into butch football players. And it's true that opposites tend to attract, people often seek out in partners traits they don't have. You just need to put yourself out there and be more confident in who you are.


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beady
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03 Dec 2017, 9:40 pm

Maybe it's better to say , you can only be who you are.

I've been trying to dress myself in this confidence garb for too long and it's never gonna fit. It's just not gonna happen that way for me. So, be who you are and be happy if you can. If you can't be happy in who you are them seek to at least accept it.

I am happy with my self. I hope that will be enough to find happiness with someone else again.
Do you find a predominance of women prefer bolder other women?



MariaTheFictionkin
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03 Dec 2017, 9:42 pm

I agree with what everyone said above me. You can only be yourself, don't try to be anyone you are not (if you ever end up trying)... It will only cause complications in a relationship further down the road.

It's better to find someone you loves you for you rather than someone you are not.


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Balbituate
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Joined: 13 Nov 2017
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03 Dec 2017, 10:07 pm

thewheel wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.


Not all lesbians are into butch football players. And it's true that opposites tend to attract, people often seek out in partners traits they don't have. You just need to put yourself out there and be more confident in who you are.

I guess I mostly meant weakness being unattractive. I'm thinking getting some piercings and tattoos will help me look less soft and weak. I guess my feminine side can be attractive to girls. I just don't like how my feminine traits make me look less edgy.



C2V
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04 Dec 2017, 2:40 am

Balbituate wrote:
thewheel wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.


Not all lesbians are into butch football players. And it's true that opposites tend to attract, people often seek out in partners traits they don't have. You just need to put yourself out there and be more confident in who you are.

I guess I mostly meant weakness being unattractive. I'm thinking getting some piercings and tattoos will help me look less soft and weak. I guess my feminine side can be attractive to girls. I just don't like how my feminine traits make me look less edgy.

Still don't know why you need to be "edgy."
Many a lesbian may actually prefer a sweet, soft, innocent-looking feminine girl. There's lots to like about that. :D


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Balbituate
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04 Dec 2017, 3:07 am

C2V wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
thewheel wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.


Not all lesbians are into butch football players. And it's true that opposites tend to attract, people often seek out in partners traits they don't have. You just need to put yourself out there and be more confident in who you are.

I guess I mostly meant weakness being unattractive. I'm thinking getting some piercings and tattoos will help me look less soft and weak. I guess my feminine side can be attractive to girls. I just don't like how my feminine traits make me look less edgy.

Still don't know why you need to be "edgy."
Many a lesbian may actually prefer a sweet, soft, innocent-looking feminine girl. There's lots to like about that. :D

Looking sweet, soft and innocent just depresses me. It doesn't actually have to do much with attracting girls. I just hate the way I'm treated a lot of the time.



beady
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04 Dec 2017, 6:46 pm

Balbituate wrote:
thewheel wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.


Not all lesbians are into butch football players. And it's true that opposites tend to attract, people often seek out in partners traits they don't have. You just need to put yourself out there and be more confident in who you are.

I guess I mostly meant weakness being unattractive. I'm thinking getting some piercings and tattoos will help me look less soft and weak. I guess my feminine side can be attractive to girls. I just don't like how my feminine traits make me look less edgy.


I like your ideas. Those are some harmless ways to change things up. Hair styles can be dramatic as well, and a bit less permanent :)



kraftiekortie
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04 Dec 2017, 7:28 pm

I've met many lesbians. Not many are extreme "butches."

Most, I find, are feminine like most women are. They just happen to like other women, instead of men.

Sometimes, like gay men, lesbians can also get turned on to the opposite sex from time to time.



Balbituate
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Joined: 13 Nov 2017
Age: 33
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Location: New Zealand

04 Dec 2017, 10:00 pm

beady wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
thewheel wrote:
Balbituate wrote:
They see me as weak and feminine. I doubt these traits are attractive to girls.


Not all lesbians are into butch football players. And it's true that opposites tend to attract, people often seek out in partners traits they don't have. You just need to put yourself out there and be more confident in who you are.

I guess I mostly meant weakness being unattractive. I'm thinking getting some piercings and tattoos will help me look less soft and weak. I guess my feminine side can be attractive to girls. I just don't like how my feminine traits make me look less edgy.


I like your ideas. Those are some harmless ways to change things up. Hair styles can be dramatic as well, and a bit less permanent :)

I do have an edgier haircut. Not sure it's really working. I look like a feminine straight girl with a trendy haircut instead of gay.



Leahcar
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07 Dec 2017, 6:46 am

As a lesbian myself, sometimes I feel like I'll always be single because of the small dating pool.
I'm not really what you'd call butch or femme (though maybe I lean more towards the former than the latter), and I mainly find myself into femme girls.


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Haiku
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07 Dec 2017, 5:45 pm

If you think being gay/lesbian is hard, try being trans... your dating pool shrinks to a puddle instantly.

However, I found that when I moved from my suburban home on the East Coast to Los Angeles, my dating pool became less of a puddle and more like an inflatable kiddie pool. Location is very key. When you are old enough, I recommend moving somewhere with a more LGBT-friendly population.