Why I am leaving my college

Post Reply New Topic

I was admitted as a freshman to one of the UNC system colleges this fall, under the assumption that it would be a good, trans-friendly environment, and that I would be able to live with one of my close friends and commute rather than live in the dorms. She has been treated horribly by the faculty and staff there, as they kicked her service dog out of the dorm for "noise complaints" and forced her to live with someone who was a meth user and would frequently lash out and do awful things- before she was withdrawn from the University.

Knowing this (in addition to the fact that I am mentally ill) I did not want to live in the Residence Halls. I am an aspie, and suffer from major depressive disorder and chronic anxiety, so Isubmitted a letter from my therapist documenting my condition and recommending reasonable accommodation over a month before classes were supposed to start- as I was admitted to the school rather late in the spring.

I attended the overnight orientation, and all was well. I was told that there would be lots of clubs I could join, and people would know that I was LGBT and respect me. In the next few weeks, the school mandated that I fill out a housing contract, and so I did, but not before contacting housing and office of accessibility to find out why I was forced into doing this. I went to several meetings, and the responses I got varied from, "Policy is how it is," to "I can't tell you why we make freshman live in the dorms" to "Our rules aren't invclusive, but there's nothing we can do. You have to live in a double room, that's our policy. Singles are reserved for upperclassman."

I had to shell out 2,000$ out of pocket to pay for a residence hall fee, and was furious. I understand policy is policy, but considering my school barely has over 3,000 students and presents themselves as a beacon of justice and equality, I think they could make more exceptions for students with disabilities. I also had to park my car over a mile and a half away from campus, after receiving multiple parking tickets because I was not told where the freshman lot was. I have been left by the bus more times than I can count, and the transportation services on campus are unreliable and mediocre at best. Some of the drivers' licenses were not even checked, and they hardly ever drove safely.

I met with the Dean of students, and told her about how frustrated I felt, because I could not sleep in my dorm and I absolutely hated it. She suggested, "Well maybe we could find you a gay roommate! Because you're a freshman, we can't give you single housing or let you live off campus." to which I replied, "I don't want a roommate. I really do not want to live here, because I have made no friends and I feel very uncomfortable in my dorm."

Their solution was to just move me to another dorm, and send me to counseling. Of course, I didn't like the new dorm either. I got so anxious that I could not even get up and use the bathroom because I was so afraid of my suitemates. They never did anything wrong to me, it's just my nature to be terrified of people, especially in a room where the shower was right in the open and I was put in a space with girls who all already knew each other! Not the best living arrangement for someone who has identified as male for YEARS. I tried to join clubs, but was not allowed to join DnD because I couldn't attend every single meeting, which lasted until 2 AM every weekend.

I was placed in a Calculus class that was way above my level, despite scoring 30% on the placement test. I begged numerous administrators to help me, find me a tutor, or drop me to Pre-Calc, because I have struggled so hard. I was on the verge of failing until several weeks ago, even though I have studied almost every day. I was told the professors here were caring and considerate, yet this past week as I have struggled tirelessly with an assignment and scheduled an appointment with my professor, he wouldn't help me, and simply said, "I am out of time." after telling me my project was too simple and I needed to add more after I couldn't even figure out what he had tasked me with in the first place!

When I tried to use one of my meal swipes for my friend, the lady at the cash register took me aside and said, "If you ever do that again, I will take your onecard." That's just one of many examples of how this school operates for profit. Just this week, I was told I would be charged 750$ for an improper checkout fee of a room that I don't even live in unless I set up an appointment. Emailed them to set one up with no response.

I am transferring somewhere else in the spring because I'm tired of this nonsense.

Have you considered taking college courses online? That was my alternative after my experience with living on campus for the first time. I personally prefer it and it definitely helps a lot with anxiety in my opinion. I can enjoy the comfort with getting my degree while in my room and not have to deal with going to a classroom and sit among others. Or deal with all of the stuff you've mentioned above. Although, I don't know what your living situation is and whether or not you have a place to stay at that isn't isn't at residence halls.

I'm at my mother's again while I'm working on my Bachelor's in Art. Despite not having a good relationship with my mother, I prefer the online method more than any physical college that there is.

hi yokokurama!

i guess i kinda know how you feel...
when i was 16, i was sent/went to Boarding School to learn how to coup with anxiety. i was lucky enough to have my own room, however, the first room i stayed in (for aboud 6 months), was also the room the suitcases were keept in. Every monday, when we came back from home (now Weekends in that bording School) and every thursday evenin when we had to pack, People kept stomping in and out of my room, to get to the cupboard with their bags. my medication used to make me very sleepy, so i went to bed at 7:30 pm, but not sleepy enough to not be disturbed every ten minutes. while this wasn't Proplematic" as such, i was still terrified of the People who should later become my friends and couldnt sleep. i also used to lie in bed for a Long time in the morning, missing breakfast, hating to shower in the shared bathroom... and their loud Music... brrr...

like i said, i was lucky enough to realise i was acctually with some really nice People. i was also lucky enough to later be supported by them.
plus i didn't have to pay anything, my parents and the Jugendamt (something like youth care) did that. and whilst i had some Troubles with teachers and Guardians in the Boarding School, most had greater Problems...

i now live by myself in another City so that i can go to University. saddly, i don't think this is for me, for most of the time, i don't know what my professors want from me or can't just say what the want in an understandbale way, without me misinterpretting anything and everything...

don't know whether this helps you, but just to let you know, there are simular Problems on possibly every continent. take care and Keep on being brave... don't let them win...