How do you handle embarrassment?

Post Reply New Topic

When you say or do the wrong thing and the moment after you realise it was stupid. I spend the rest of the day kicking myself. What do you do after this has happened? How do you deal with it?

I find it very hard not to dwell on embarrassments too. I can sometimes lose quite a bit of time later on replaying the situation but with me saying all the much better things I could have said. I also find it hard to rejoin the conversation after I have done it, even if it was only a little one that everyone else passed over really quickly, because I'm too busy trying to work out what I should have said and not paying the conversation enough attention any more.

When I'm embarrassed over something, depending on what it is I would either:

1.) Cry

2.) Get extremely upset and furiously try to defend myself

3.) Hide in a corner and not see the light of day for a few hours until the ill thoughts have passed

They say you shouldn't react but if I don't react I'm worried that people will think I'm too dumb to realise I've done the wrong thing.

I'm just not able to hide it. I get ridiculously hot and blush bright red, so it's really easy for people to notice, it's not unusual for the blushing to get commented on, which just makes me even more self-conscious.

I became agoraphobic because of this.
I just completely avoid anything that could cause me embarrassment.

It's an extremely unpleasant feeling to be embarrassed.

I just tell myself certain things, and move on from the situation.

It depends on the reason why I'm embarrassed.

If I'm embarrassed because I've done something stupid then I am able to laugh it off and move on pretty quick. I just tell myself that whilst I might still be wasting my time dwelling on it and reliving it, everyone else will have forgotten and moved on to something else.

I overheat like a nuclear reactor and my upper neck turns to concrete.
Working on it though.

Now I need to figure out how to deal with the worst embarrassment in ages.

I got to work, right on time, sat down at my desk and realised I'd left my work laptop at home.

I told my manager, trying to avoid the arrogent guy, who happened to be walking past and went home to get the laptop. Now I'm on my way back. I'll be about 90 minutes late.

If any meetings were scheduled for this morning, I've missed them. Everyone will see that I'm not at my desk and when I come in, they'll all see me come in. Late. They'll all know I foolishly left my laptop behind.

I will die from embarrassment!!

It depends.

Did anybody got hurt by what I did or is upset at me?
- Get hurt and think about it for a few hours or even days(if the lost was huge), wanting to say sorry but at the same time being angry at them for having too big expectations of me and being angry at myself for being unable to do everything right end fore-sighing every outcome(I know its impossible but I am still angry at myself for being unable to do it). I want to have the right to make mistakes. I know can't be perfect all the time. But I try to because in my delusions only then others will like me. It's difficult to believe it isn't the case when someone is hurt or angry by what I did.

Noone got hurt/upset or the person hurt is noone else but me?
- Say "Ooops" and let it go. (And other people usually don't even seem to pay attention to that or simply ask if I am fine)
- Say "Did I really just say that <repeat>? OMG. So stupid!" and laugh. (And then I get surprised by other people reaction when they say "You are not stupid". I know I am not, but the exaggeration helps me deal with the embarrassment)

If it was me I would tell myself "Who doesn't have in head, has in legs"("Kto nie ma w głowie ma w nogach", Polish saying, meaning forgetful must walk a lot) or "Sclerosis does not hurt but teases" ("Skleroza nie boli ale dokucza", meaning forgetting doesn't physically hurt, but causes many problems) and let it go. Not like others never forgotten anything and as long as you were not desperately needed at the office during the 90 mins or the files on your laptop were needed early in the morning and other plans needed to be rescheduled because of your memory issues - it's no big deal. Count it as a time-out. Who cares whats the reason? You are the one losing something because you waste your time-out limit or hourly pay for a forgotten laptop but for others you would as well be visiting a doctors office or getting your gf from the airport. Noone really cares about your memory issues and if they laugh at you it's just because you let them laugh/have funny reactions.

I get embarrassed and blush really easily. If I do something socially wrong I think about it over and over, and hope that I have learned from my mistake. I try to think up better alternatives for next time.

If people are angry or unkind about it, I have to try hard not to cry.

I used to blush alot when I was in skewl but I think some of that could of been stress & hormone related. Some things that embarrass me I handle just find but other things I still dwell on even thou they happened 20 years ago.

BTW incase anyone is interested in treating the blushing, betablockers like Inderal/Propranolol can help regulate the blood-pressure/blood-flow that causes blushing & they may help with anxiety too.

haha

This exactly. I loved your description!

Do better next time. I think about what kind of mistake I made, why I made it and how to keep it from happening in the future. This kind of thinking takes a lot of mental energy but it’s worth it!

That used to be me. You have to learn how to move on from the past and focus on not letting it happen again. Use your logical, problem solving mind, not your emotional mind. It takes practice but it will get you very far!