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fifasy
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14 Dec 2017, 6:13 am

I can't stand loud voices. They make me feel threatened. I think in schools people should be taught how to speak elegantly and not too loud. It really does make life difficult for me having to deal with loud people.



Biscuitman
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14 Dec 2017, 6:51 am

I speak very quietly. Sometimes at almost a whisper. It feels nice to do that. I hate loud voices. sometimes I wish the world was mute.



Pumpkin_Prince
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14 Dec 2017, 7:08 am

Same here, it's so disturbing. I hate when people with loud voices obnoxiously ask "Why are you so quiet??" When really they're just so used to their own voice being so loud.



lostonearth35
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15 Dec 2017, 2:40 pm

I used to speak quite loudly, which was helpful in some cases, like reading out loud in school as a kid, but when I attempted conversation in a public place people, my mom especially, would tell me to keep my voice down. And of course it would get louder whenever I got excited or upset. After my diagnosis I don't speak as loud now. But it bugs me when other people speak too softly. It's bad enough I have trouble processing about 40% of what others are saying, but when they speak too softly or too low it can drive me bonkers. Of course, they could be talking that way because they're shy, and I have to respect that.



AntisocialButterfly
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15 Dec 2017, 2:54 pm

I think I may be one of the people you hate lol. I have no idea how to regulate my own volume and I am often told I am being excessively loud and I just can't tell :O.



spaceone
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15 Dec 2017, 3:14 pm

My father's voice makes me cringe. He is always so loud and used to yell at me all of the time growing up. He uses his loud volume as a weapon. Now it doesn't matter if he's trying to be nice to me or yelling about something, his voice triggers crippling anxiety that I find difficult to control. It plays out into the rest of my life -- if someone yells at me or basically tries to use a violent voice with me, I completely shut down.



MissChess
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15 Dec 2017, 3:59 pm

AntisocialButterfly wrote:
I think I may be one of the people you hate lol. I have no idea how to regulate my own volume and I am often told I am being excessively loud and I just can't tell :O.


This is me as well - I don't seem to have any sense of what my personal volume dial is set to at any given moment.


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Khiori
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15 Dec 2017, 4:22 pm

spaceone wrote:
My father's voice makes me cringe. He is always so loud and used to yell at me all of the time growing up. He uses his loud volume as a weapon. Now it doesn't matter if he's trying to be nice to me or yelling about something, his voice triggers crippling anxiety that I find difficult to control. It plays out into the rest of my life -- if someone yells at me or basically tries to use a violent voice with me, I completely shut down.


I'm the same way, except it was my mom for me. To this day I go on high alert whenever someone raises their voice, even if I'm hearing someone have a loud argument a few houses down from me! I can't stand when people speak loudly at me, it just seems so aggressive.



spaceone
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15 Dec 2017, 4:51 pm

Khiori wrote:
spaceone wrote:
My father's voice makes me cringe. He is always so loud and used to yell at me all of the time growing up. He uses his loud volume as a weapon. Now it doesn't matter if he's trying to be nice to me or yelling about something, his voice triggers crippling anxiety that I find difficult to control. It plays out into the rest of my life -- if someone yells at me or basically tries to use a violent voice with me, I completely shut down.


I'm the same way, except it was my mom for me. To this day I go on high alert whenever someone raises their voice, even if I'm hearing someone have a loud argument a few houses down from me! I can't stand when people speak loudly at me, it just seems so aggressive.

Yes, and the worst part, if I raise my voice to match his, is the way he will often use the fact that I am yelling back to try to invalidate my point of view, as though he wasn't the one who started yelling in the first place -- and I'm just trying to defend myself! But this only happens with him because I have to deal with him. I can't just walk away. When other people treat me like that, I just shut down the conversation and cut the person out of my life. I've put up with that s**t for way too long to ever put up with it again.



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16 Dec 2017, 4:28 am

At times I wish I could yell. I can't because of speech issues. People constantly interpret those who are "soft spoken" (even if not by choice) as weak, shy, timid, uncertain of themselves / the subject or have low self-confidence.
Whereas people who speak loudly are seen as assertive, confident, capable, self-assured and someone to be listened to.
No one ever tells anyone who speaks loudly to shut up, but they constantly tell soft spoken people to "speak up!" almost at a command, the way you speak to a child.
It may be unpleasant because of past associations for the OP but sometimes, it'd be better than not being able to.


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Cratilla
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16 Dec 2017, 9:23 am

Most people talk loudly. I'm 3 metres away, no need to yell!



HistoryGal
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16 Dec 2017, 9:54 am

I can handle a loud voice....just not a high pitched one.



spaceone
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16 Dec 2017, 5:22 pm

C2V wrote:
At times I wish I could yell. I can't because of speech issues. People constantly interpret those who are "soft spoken" (even if not by choice) as weak, shy, timid, uncertain of themselves / the subject or have low self-confidence.
Whereas people who speak loudly are seen as assertive, confident, capable, self-assured and someone to be listened to.
No one ever tells anyone who speaks loudly to shut up, but they constantly tell soft spoken people to "speak up!" almost at a command, the way you speak to a child.
It may be unpleasant because of past associations for the OP but sometimes, it'd be better than not being able to.

I can understand that, but I don't know if I really feel the same way. I developed like that because I grew up in the mountains very isolated -- it was my only defense mechanism. Also, genetically the males in my family all have deep, booming voices. I have to consciously try to be quiet. As a result, my voice has often not been a positive thing for me. When I was in school, I would get bullied a lot and I would yell back a lot, often really stupid things that would just incur more bullying.. also I would get punished by the faculty as they usually didn't notice what was going on until I raised my voice and the other kids would act like I was the one bullying them.. only to mess with me again when the teacher wasn't looking. I spent a lot of time in my school years sitting outside of the classroom or inside of the principal's office.

I look forward to the day that I learn to control my voice and use it as a positive.



ladyelaine
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16 Dec 2017, 11:39 pm

My brother is a naturally loud person. His voice gets on my nerves especially when he is yelling out of anger or when he used to talk to his friends out in the yard while I was trying to sleep. I would send him shut up texts when he was being too loud with his friends.

I find women with loud, high pitched voices to be annoying. They are even worse when their voices are gravelly from smoking.



joemamaugly
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17 Dec 2017, 12:54 am

I believe that I was born without an "inside" voice.


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lostonearth35
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17 Dec 2017, 11:44 pm

For years my brother has driven my whole family and me crazy because he speaks in a low voice and a monotone and half the time we can't understand what he says. But then again, we can't understand him even when he does talk more properly because the stuff he says is so weird. :lol: