I've never been harassed.

Post Reply New Topic

Why?

These stories are plastered everywhere now.

If I believed the media and our general cultural milieu, apparently every woman is allegedly harassed at some point in life, and I should be out there shouting my story from the mountaintops with Twitter hashtags or something.

But somehow, some way, I've never been harassed despite living 33 years on the planet. Not even in the loosely defined way that term, 'harassment,' is used now.

So not only no rapes, but also no cat-calls, no butt-grabs, not even any unwelcome flirtation that I can recall.

I may not be pretty or beautiful in the conventional sense, and some guys have made fun of my looks in the past, but I've also never been overweight, I practice good hygiene, and I do get out in the world (though perhaps less than most), and I've worked different jobs, so it's not like I've been a nun in a cave or something.

Just don't know what to make of this.

Not sure what vibe I give off that apparently no other woman on the planet does, a magical vibe that apparently manages to keep all men at bay.

As far as I understood all this, not being harassed = a good thing no?

Seriously... you females drive me nuts sometimes

Maybe you just didn't think of this as a harassment or a big deal anyway?
Like, if a guy started talking some sexist bs to me, I just thought "you are an idiot", walked away and forgot. The life is too interesting to nurture feeling harmed by some idiot and no social movement ever would remove idiots from the society.

I'm not talking about serious stuff like rapes but silly sexist talk can easily bounce off your skin if you let your skin grow naturally thick. So you don't even notice.

I can only guess at why, maybe you haven't been in environments where you were in contact with this type of predatory people. Maybe you have a don't mess with me vibe, or subconsciously have measures in place to ensure your safety.
It's nice to see the other story though because people are hard wired to notice only the bad news.

Up until a few months ago, I had never been harassed either. Such a weird thing, because obviously it's nothing to wish for, but I still couldn't help feeling like there must be something really wrong with me since I'm the only one I know who's never experienced it.

I even started getting mad at my friends complaining about harassment, and thought that "if they don't want to get that attention, just stop dressing like that!" You know, the really uncomfortable clothing that obviously is good for nothing but looking really pretty.
I see now that this kind of reasoning is part of the problem. People should be able to dress however they want, for whatever reason. If they want to look pretty, it's very unlikely because they want to be groped by strangers anyways.

As far as I know, it happens mostly to the women who dress nicely and wears makeup. I guess men take that as them being approachable (because why would they dress up if they didn't want attention?)
For myself, I have big boobs, a thin waist and thick blonde hair, something one might think would attract unwanted attention. But it doesn't, and the reason for that is because I dress like a hobo.
A few months ago I got a job, so I have to try and look more normal, and now I've been harassed twice, but only late weekend nights, by very drunk men. Still not nearly as much as some of my female friends, who experience it in the middle of the day, every day. I still believe this is because of me not wearing "girly" clothes or make up, and probably send out signals telling people I'm not someone they want to flirt with.

Many of the women who were harassed are in jobs where being pretty is considered an important part of the job. There are very few ugly women on TV or the movies in the USA.

In fact, I think this is a significant difference between USA and UK entertainment--the USA has a very high beauty standard for its actors and actresses compared to the UK.

Several of you bring up traditional attractiveness, and I think this is a good point.

It is strongly believed by most in the conservative Judeo-Christian community that women should be modest and not attempt to get into jobs where they have lots of power or attempt to use their looks to get ahead. There are many Biblical passages used in support for these views. Women who attempt to go beyond those boundaries are considering tempting to men, and put themselves at much greater risk for harassment.

This is why I find it especially surprising that CG is whining when he's an atheist. He not only incorrectly assumed I was some raging feminist, but he thinks his peculiar worldview -- atheism and anti-feminism -- is somehow coherent. Actually, most liberal atheists are the raging feminists, not conservative Christians. Because of the collapse of Judeo-Christian foundations, we now have rampant harassment claims in the West. It's HIS worldview that is the cause for all the women problems he sulked about here, not mine. My worldview understands women's proper role and place in the world, as God commanded it.

I'm not sure other women exaggerate. I don't live their lives, I don't have their sensitivity. It would be like someone saying I exaggerate when I'm talking about my sensory issues. They just don't expirience what I'm expiriencing. And I'm ready to admit I don't expirience what they are going through.

I often had protective reactions towards other girls when a man was catcalling them. Like putting them behind me and standing to the man. We had a slimy teacher at high school... Two of us wore the loosest sweaters for his classes, made stiff faces and always had sharp replies. We sat at the front and didn't let him approach the rest. Most of the rest wore loose sweaters and sat in the back, trying to be invisible. But there was one who tried to look sexy for his classes. I don't know what her intentions were. But this one we didn't protect.

The men doing the harassment are often smart enough to put themselves in positions where they have the opportunity to do their evil deeds. Unfortunately, the same is also true for pedophiles.

^ She didn't say not being harassed was a bad thing, she was just wondering why she's never felt harassed if it's supposedly such a common thing.